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Clips from Central Park - A Fish Called Snakehead (S01E01)

"-I just got my boat in the water. -What?"
Central Park
"They don't normally allow boats up here."
Central Park
"Also, the reporters were super into me so I--"
Central Park
"Oh, good. You stopped. So, when will you have it?"
Central Park
"-The snakehead? -Yes!"
Central Park
"I don't know."
Central Park
"Soon?"
Central Park
"-Very soon? -That's right."
Central Park
"And you're gonna call me the second you pull it in."
Central Park
"You got that?"
Central Park
"I want to be there to give you your check when the reporters arrive."
Central Park
"-You hear me? -Yes."
Central Park
"The check you won't get if you don't catch the fish."
Central Park
"And try to catch it before 5:00. Traffic gets yucky."
Central Park
"What's he whining about?"
Central Park
"His life. All of his decisions that have led up to this--"
Central Park
"All right, all right. Save it for your comedy special."
Central Park
"Get him to stop."
Central Park
"I've gotta go pick out the right shoes to wear to this fish catching."
Central Park
"Yep. No, I know."
Central Park
"No. Stop. Stay on the shore. Bad duckling!"
Central Park
"I just wanted to draw."
Central Park
"Remember when our life was our own, before we had kids?"
Central Park
"-Hey, Molly. -Hey. Brendan."
Central Park
"-Cole. What's up? -Can't talk. Ducklings."
Central Park
"Trying to keep them from going in the water?"
Central Park
"-Yep. -Snakehead."
Central Park
"It's already tried to eat one of them."
Central Park
"Did you come up here to fly your kite?"
Central Park
"No, I came here to help catch the snakehead."
Central Park
"Are they drawn to wind hobbies?"
Central Park
"No, I attached a fishing hook to the kite."
Central Park
"Kite fishing. It's a thing. I saw it online."
Central Park
"You can get further out over the water and the fish don't expect--"
Central Park
"To be caught by a kite?"
Central Park
"Yeah. Now I'm feeling like there might be more to it."
Central Park
"I just wanted to help. New adventures of Fista Puffs?"
Central Park
"Not yet. It's been a lot of this."
Central Park
"Well, if I take off the hook, maybe my kite could be useful here."
Central Park
"Do you think I can get away with writing,"
Central Park
""Dick Flake, a man who looks like a toilet brush if a toilet brush were a person"?"
Central Park
"I don't know. If he catches the thing, then he's a hero as far as I'm concerned."
Central Park
"He's not gonna catch it. He's a blowhard. Trust me."
Central Park
"I caught it! I caught it!"
Central Park
"Okay. Maybe I'm not a great judge of fisherpeople."
Central Park
"I did it!"
Central Park
"She got here fast. They got here fast."
Central Park
"Hey, you got it. Let's see. God, it's huge."
Central Park
"All right, give us a good one."
Central Park
"This is for What's New, New York? How'd you do it, Dick?"
Central Park
"This is Ms. Brandenham's show. I just work here."
Central Park
"I mean, I work here."
Central Park
"Sometimes, generous, heroic, private individuals"
Central Park
"can make things happen more efficiently than a creaky old bureaucracy can."
Central Park
"Hold it higher. Not too high, I'll be out of the shot."
Central Park
"There you go. Look at that."
Central Park
"Anyway, here's your check, from me, Bitsy Brandenham."
Central Park
"-Helping New York in any way I can. -Thank you, Ms. Brandenham."
Central Park
"Questions? Any of you on social media?"
Central Park
"Shampagne looks nervous. Doesn't Shampagne look nervous?"
Central Park
"Or maybe sad. Now I'm seeing both. Are you seeing both?"
Central Park
"I can't read his expression, because he's a little dog. He looks furry."
Central Park
"What is it, boy? Tell me with your mind."
Central Park
"Okay, that's not working. It's possible we don't have that power."
Central Park
"Bitsy! Any truth to the rumor that you're trying to buy Central Park?"
Central Park
"I don't think anyone heard you, dear. Anyone else?"
Central Park
"I said--"
Central Park
"People can also ask me anything if they want, about fishing or life."
Central Park
"Did someone ask if I think park management is severely lacking?"
Central Park
"The answer's yes. Good question, whoever that was."
Central Park
"Let me just say this."
Central Park
"This park desperately needs someone to take care of it."
Central Park
"Someone who appreciates its worth. They might even be here right now, hey?"
Central Park
"Who's got two thumbs up and appreciates the park?"
Central Park
"Okay, I gotta split."
Central Park
"I just wanna at least trip her. Can I trip her?"
Central Park
"-Oh, God. Is Cole gonna trip her? -He's going to see the dog."
Central Park
"-Bitsy. -Whoa, you're a tiny reporter, aren't you?"
Central Park
"No, I'm the boy who-- Never mind. I just-- I'm worried about him."
Central Park
"She's a woman. She just looks like a man sometimes. It's the light."
Central Park
"-No, I mean-- Hi. -Sup?"
Central Park
"I mean him."
Central Park
"Oh. Yes. He's been a mopey little mop all afternoon."
Central Park
"He seems better now though. Whatever. Bye."
Central Park
"Wait. Just, when he's anxious, you can do a little drumbeat on his butt."
Central Park
"What? What? Shampagne, chill out."
Central Park
"Do a drumbeat. Hi."
Central Park
"What's happening?"
Central Park
"Exactly. I knew it. I knew we had that power."
Central Park
"Okay, bye. Stay strong."
Central Park
"Newspeople are so weird."
Central Park
"-He's the boy who found the dog-- -I remember who he is now."
Central Park
"Maybe it's worth trying the drumming thing?"
Central Park
"All right."
Central Park
"Oh. My goodness."
Central Park
"Hey. Holy smokes. You little freak."
Central Park
"All right, from now on, whatever some rando tells me to do to you,"
Central Park
"I'm doing it."
Central Park
"-He hasn't moved for a while. -That's not true."
Central Park
"He adjusted his shorts, like, five minutes ago."
Central Park
"Yeah, they were way up there."
Central Park
"It happens when he's upset. I don't know why exactly."
Central Park
"They just ride up like they're trying to help him."
Central Park
"There's something weird about that fish."
Central Park
"Weird eyebrows? No, fish don't have eyebrows. Weird attitude?"
Central Park
"Maybe it's that it looks like Satan?"
Central Park
"No, look at the eyes. Kinda cloudy and sunken, right?"
Central Park
"Hope no one ever says that about me."
Central Park
"I think that fish is dead."
Central Park
"I mean, that's what happens when you kill them."
Central Park
"No, I mean dead from before. I don't think that fish is from the Meer."
Central Park
"But I thought Dick Flake caught the fish and saved the day. Of course he didn't."
Central Park
"Have you met Dick Flake? Allow me to explain."
Central Park
"Whoa, Dick Flake is a lying piece of cake, Dick Flake"
Central Park