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Clips from The Great Outdoors

"Really inappropriate, Chet."
The Great Outdoors
"What? It was a story!"
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"Come on!"
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"Oh, come on! It was a kind of true story."
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"Part of it happened. I just embellished a bit, that's all. Come on, kids."
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"Oh, what? What? What is that look?"
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"Benny..."
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"So now I get the look. I was just trying to have some fun."
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"Good night."
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"Oh, God!"
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"So I made the fangs a little bigger. Jeez."
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"I'm telling you, you got nothing to be afraid of, okay?"
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"I mean it."
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"Look, it's a story my dad told me,"
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"and I'm sure his dad told him, and I'm telling you."
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"It's just made up."
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"One day you're gonna tell your kids this story. You will. I guarantee it."
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"Good evening."
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"How's it going?"
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"Listen, girls,"
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"as your father,"
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"I feel it incumbent upon me to set the record straight"
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"on the validity of the tale which Uncle Chet shared with us this evening."
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"I know that a terrifying story like that"
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"coming from the mouth of a recognized authority figure"
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"could be traumatizing for kids like yourselves."
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"I know that because I had a similar experience with my Uncle Roy"
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"and a story he used to tell about a family that went into the woods"
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"and was attacked by a band of escaped army psychiatric patients"
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"who'd been subjected to violent,"
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"hellish, torturous behavior-modification experiments."
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"It seems they escaped from the metal boxes the army kept them in,"
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"found this family in the woods,"
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"fell upon them, slaughtered them and ate them."
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"Now, that story gave me nightmares not to be believed."
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"I don't want Uncle Chet's bear story to upset you in the same way."
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"So I'm here to say that there actually is no bear"
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"and that all of what Uncle Chet was saying"
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"was just a yarn, spinning for our entertainment."
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"And even if there were a bear out there, I'm in the house to protect you."
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"So, no more thinking about bears, all right?"
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"No more thinking about unpleasant things."
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"We're gonna close our eyes and dream about nice things."
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"About cuddly,"
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"soft, fluffy things."
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"Okay?"
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"Super."
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"Good night. Sleep tight."
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"Honey?"
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"Chet? Where are you?"
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"Oh, God! That's rotted. Oh!"
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"Hello. Jerry Asmuth, please. Roman Craig."
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"Yeah, I can hold, but not for too long."
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"I'm in God's country here. My signal's kind of weak."
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"- Honey? - Yes, Roman?"
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"Why is it Chet's kids look at him like he's Zeus"
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"and my kids look at me like I'm a rack of yard tools at Sears?"
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"I mean, why can't they connect with me?"
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"Well, honey, maybe if you spent less time at work"
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"and a little more time with us, things would be different."
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"Put a cork in it, honey. Talking business."
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"Jerry. Yeah, Roman. How are you?"
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"Listen, I'll save us a lot of trouble now and cut right to the chase."
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"I got an unbelievable investment opportunity for you."
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"You got about three minutes and 25 grand? Jerry?"
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"Did you hear what I said?"
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"Lost the signal here. These cellular phones, they don't work."
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"Well, maybe he hung up on you."
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"Why would our minister hang up on me? I've been to his church."
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"Oh, yeah! Once!"
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"All right!"
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"How about that, huh?"
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"We're gonna be scraping the bugs off our teeth with this baby, Ben!"
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"That's too much boat. It's just too much."
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"Can I ask you a question? Sure. Are you hungry?"
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"Give me four chili dogs and two plain dogs, please."
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"That's six hot dogs, Dad."
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"It's for everybody, all right? And I'm hungry."
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"So?"
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"Oh, yeah. Do you mind if I just walk around for a while? You know, cruise the town?"
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"I can walk back when I'm done."
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"All right, all right. But you gotta promise me"
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"when you get back we're gonna spend some time together. Right."
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"That's why we're up here, you know. I know."
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"That's the point of this trip, to be in the woods."
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"The men, the guys, together."
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"Rugged, manly, all that stuff. The full nine yards."
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"Exactly. All right?"
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"Right."
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"Give me a hug. What?"
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"Give me a hug, will you? Come on. Dad..."
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"I'm too old for hugs."
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"You're never too old for hugs."
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"Can I go now? Thank you very much. Thank you. Go, go, go."
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"If you meet any friends, bring them back. We'll give them a ride in Suck My Wake."
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"God! Great."
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"You've got it in neutral!"
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"It's okay."
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"It's in neutral. You gotta put it..."
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"Okay. Dad, I'll figure it out. Just give me the skis already."
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"I'm sorry, I forgot. You're a professional skier already."
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"You don't need any notes on this, huh?"
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"You don't need any help from somebody who might know a little something about skiing, huh?"
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"We're gonna go over it one more time, okay? Fine."
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"- Come on, this is important, Ben. - Okay!"
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"What are we doing sitting here?"
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"You know, he's teaching the kid, giving him lessons. Wants Benny to be safe."
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"Lean back. There you go. Doesn't that feel better?"
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"Yeah."
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"There you go. Okay, we're leaning back. Okay, now there's trouble."
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"What? There's some trouble."
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"Come on, Ben, what are we gonna do?"
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"Let go of the rope."
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"How many times have I told you?"
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"Let go of the rope. If you're in trouble, let go of the rope."
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"Remember, go loose when you fall. Just go loose."
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"- What is he doing? - I don't know."
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"I don't know, he's shaking. Some kind of a new dance or something."
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"- Okay, hold this. Thanks, Dad. - Fix your vest up."
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"Are we gonna ski or what?"
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