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Clips from Bob's Burgers - Bed & Breakfast (S01E01)

"- Good night, Teddy. - Good night, Linda."
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"- Sleep tight. - Sleep tighter, Lin."
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"Don't let the bed bugs bite."
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"I won’t. Hey, my pillow smells funny."
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"Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh."
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"Good night, Samuels!"
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"- Oh, Woo! Oh, my God! -[Linda] Oh, God!"
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"- Could you please close the door? - Yeah. Oh, my God."
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"- Sorry. - No. With you on the other side of it."
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"- Okay. All right. All right. - Leave!"
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"Why is Mr. Samuels wearing handcuffs?"
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"They are- They are escape artists."
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"[ Gasps] They are?"
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"Yes. isn't that interesting? Okay, time for bed. Let's go."
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"All right, Louise, since you're new here, I'll show you the ropes."
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"That corner of the bed is for eating."
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"And this right here is the exercise area."
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"This is where I thrash. [ Groaning]"
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"Yeah. I'll stand, thank you very much."
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"[Groaning]"
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"-[Snoring] -[Groaning]"
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"Here we go."
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"Have you talked to your mommy?"
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"Why don't you talk to your mommy, Teddy, about your new roommates?"
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"Where is everybody?"
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"Careful, Bob. I reused the cheese from yesterday."
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"- Some of the omelets have toothpicks in them. - Ow. Ow. Ah."
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"Oh, good morning, Yavee! I hope you and your bugs are hungry."
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"My appetite is gone, along with several of my specimen jars."
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"They contained my most virile males."
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"- Oh, no. - Little insects with Wings. How far could they go?"
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"- [Teddy] Hey, guys. -[All Screaming]"
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"- What? Do I have bed head? - Oh, good God, Teddy."
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"- My beetles! - Ohh!"
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"- What? - Teddy, you've got beetles all over your face."
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"Is that right? I haven't looked in the mirror yet."
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"These males are in an extremely amorous state."
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"You mean, right now they're trying to mate with Teddy's face?"
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"- Yes. - Ahh."
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"Oh, God, Ted. Does it hurt?"
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"Nope. Nope. Don't worry about it."
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"Teddy, you should probably get to the hospital. You okay to drive?"
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"No, I don't need a hospital. I'll be fine. This is still a magical Weekend."
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"- Ahh. - You know?"
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"- He's the perfect guest. - What's for breakfast?"
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"- Eggs! - Ugh! Nothing gets to this guy."
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"You! I don't know how, but you did this."
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"[ Sniffs] I know how she did it."
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"She used my pheromones on him."
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"Okay, well, uh, Linda, everyone, have fun in the B and B"
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"I'll be downstairs in the restaurant. Bye."
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"- Bye, Dad. - No!"
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"You deal with her! She's out of control!"
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"- Okay. Uh, give her her room back. - No!"
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"Well, that's all I got. Bye."
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"Louise! You're grounded. Go to your room."
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"Gladly. That's all I ever wanted."
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"No, I mean my room. Go to my room."
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"- You can't make me. - Oh, yes, I can, Miss Missy."
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"I guess you can."
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"I've never seen these beetles so aroused."
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"I have that affect on beetles. [ Chuckles]"
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"I haven't had this much action in a While."
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"Are they gonna call me tomorrow? Probably not, right? That's okay."
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"Teddy, making jokes, covered with bugs. You are a man! Damn you!"
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"[ Gene] Does anything get to you?"
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"[ Teddy] There's really only one thing."
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"-[Gene, Tina] Yeah? - [Teddy] Costumed characters."
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"You know, like the ones in amusement parks."
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"- Really? - Why?"
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"It's the eyes, Gene. Their cold, dead eyes..."
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"watching you while they make love to your wife."
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"- While they what? - I mean, when they, uh, go to birthday parties."
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"[ Gene] All right."
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"Thank you, Teddy."
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"Oh, thank you, Mom's purse. Well, thank you, phone."
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"Yes, I will make a call."
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"♪ [Whistling]"
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"Oh, I gotcha. Oh, you're sizzling."
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"I love your sounds."
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"Oh, hello. You have costumed characters, right?"
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"- ♪ [Whistling] - Oh, that's great."
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"- I'll take the hippo, the fox. - Here's a cookie."
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"- Here's a cookie. - A baby bear."
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"- Here's a cookie. - And do take a credit card?"
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"-[Knocking] - Brought you some cookies! What's going on here?"
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"- Uh, we have to go home. - What are you talking about?"
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"You can't leave. You're on vacation."
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"Sit down, enjoy the cookies, unpack your pointy bra and your whip and whip him."
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"He's a naughty boy."
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"- I'm a naughty boy. - Get to it!"
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"Did you just lock the door? She just locked the door."
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"I don't know what's going on."
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"[ Linda] You can come out when it's time for the ice cream social!"
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"You too!"
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"- Hey, there's my perfect guest. - Hey, Linda."
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"I got good news. I'm upgrading you to platinum status!"
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"Oh! Platinum status. That sounds fancy. What do I get?"
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"It is! You hungry? You want some room service?"
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"No. Uh, I guess I can eat."
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"- What do you want? - Uh, bacon burger?"
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"- What? - Bacon burger."
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"- Bacon- - First-First word."
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"- Bacon. - One syllable."
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"- No, two syllables. - Two syllables."
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"- Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink! - Uh, a pig."
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"- Dinosaur. - Bacon!"
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"- Bacon burger. - Kevin Bacon."
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"- Second word. - Burger."
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"- Brake pads? -[Moos]"
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"- Dinosaur. - Jurassic Park!"
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"-[Moos] - Charades!"
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"- You can't guess charades. - Yes, you can."
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"Oh. ls it charades?"
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"All right. Yes. Bacon burger! All right. I can do that."
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"-[Doorbell Rings] - Uh, doorbell. I'll get it."
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"Oh, Footloose."
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"Can I- Can I help you?"
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"Is there a Teddy here?"
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"Teddy, you've got visitors."
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