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Clips from Silicon Valley - Founder Friendly (S03E03)

"What?"
Silicon Valley
"Are you an attorney here to see a client?"
Silicon Valley
"No. Actuallt, I'm a client who is here see my attorney."
Silicon Valley
"Okay. Follow me."
Silicon Valley
"It began as a innocent celebration of our arbitration victory."
Silicon Valley
"I ordered a kombucha, which I did not realize contained alcohol."
Silicon Valley
"It was described to me as a healthy, organic tea."
Silicon Valley
"Next thing I knew, I was 70 miles away, wrapped naked in a blanket,"
Silicon Valley
"shaking off a meth high,"
Silicon Valley
"and facing charges for attacking a police horse with a shovel."
Silicon Valley
"Oh. Holy shit."
Silicon Valley
"From a legal standpoint, it was a clear violation of my parole,"
Silicon Valley
"and I must now serve my entire sentence..."
Silicon Valley
"Okay."
Silicon Valley
"...and any additional time stemming from the new charges,"
Silicon Valley
"which continue to accrue."
Silicon Valley
"But I'm owning my mistakes."
Silicon Valley
"- Oh. - I am staying positive."
Silicon Valley
"Enough about me."
Silicon Valley
"Let's take a look at that contract."
Silicon Valley
"Okay."
Silicon Valley
"I would red-line it, but..."
Silicon Valley
"I'm not allowed to have a pencil."
Silicon Valley
"Oh."
Silicon Valley
"This makes less sense the more I look at it."
Silicon Valley
"Okay. What's this number over here?"
Silicon Valley
"I don't know."
Silicon Valley
"I didn't handle the compression library."
Silicon Valley
"Neither did I."
Silicon Valley
"You're telling me Richard did this all on his own?"
Silicon Valley
"Shit. I thought you did it."
Silicon Valley
"Now I respect you even less."
Silicon Valley
"We each know 90 percent of the platform..."
Silicon Valley
"but it's the same 90 percent."
Silicon Valley
"Maybe that arrogant prick was right."
Silicon Valley
"We can't scale it without him."
Silicon Valley
"We are so fucked."
Silicon Valley
"Wait."
Silicon Valley
"- Yeah? - I got it."
Silicon Valley
"We quit out of solidarity with Richard."
Silicon Valley
"That's interesting."
Silicon Valley
"So even though he said all that horrible shit to us,"
Silicon Valley
"we take the high road"
Silicon Valley
"and we get his back."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Maybe he'll even hire us at his new company."
Silicon Valley
"Flutterbeam."
Silicon Valley
"- Mustaches? - Yes."
Silicon Valley
"Doesn't necessarily have to stop at people."
Silicon Valley
"They can put mustaches on their pets, too."
Silicon Valley
"It's actually pretty fun."
Silicon Valley
"So, soon you'll be putting mustaches on cats and dogs and..."
Silicon Valley
"- snakes. - Snakes, yeah, yeah."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, it's a little tricky because they don't have a philtrum,"
Silicon Valley
"so finding an anchor point for that mustache is actually..."
Silicon Valley
"gonna be quite of a technological challenge."
Silicon Valley
"- It's exciting stuff. - It really is."
Silicon Valley
"Richard."
Silicon Valley
"Let me ask you something."
Silicon Valley
"Why are you leaving Pied Piper?"
Silicon Valley
"They pushed me out."
Silicon Valley
"I thought they offered you another position."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, CTO. It's a demotion."
Silicon Valley
"Well, wouldn't you be CTO at Flutterbeam?"
Silicon Valley
"Yes, but at least this way, I don't have to eat shit."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, let me tell you something I learned here on the inside."
Silicon Valley
"Swallow your pride, or soon you'll be eating something far worse than shit."
Silicon Valley
"Believe me."
Silicon Valley
"Don't you think you should at least meet this Barker fellow?"
Silicon Valley
"So where are we?"
Silicon Valley
"Seventeen hundred people slated for exiting."
Silicon Valley
"Their negated options total 780,000 shares."
Silicon Valley
"That money can be allocated anyway you see fit."
Silicon Valley
"Employee bonuses, renovations to the day-care center."
Silicon Valley
"What have you. What should we prioritize?"
Silicon Valley
"Sorry, I don't understand."
Silicon Valley
"It's all in the document."
Silicon Valley
"You take that severance package,"
Silicon Valley
"and you leave Hooli immediately."
Silicon Valley
"But the most important aspect"
Silicon Valley
"is the non-disclosure, non-disparagement clause,"
Silicon Valley
"in which you agree not to say anything negative in the press,"
Silicon Valley
"in public, or in private"
Silicon Valley
"about Hooli or Gavin Belson."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, I won't."
Silicon Valley
"You will not discuss anything you did at Hooli"
Silicon Valley
"at all, in perpetuity,"
Silicon Valley
"throughout the universe."
Silicon Valley
"I didn't really do anything at Hooli, so..."
Silicon Valley
"Good. You're getting the hang of it already."
Silicon Valley
"So, can I keep my Hooli ID, though,"
Silicon Valley
"so I can still come and hang out with my friends on the roof?"
Silicon Valley
"You cannot."
Silicon Valley
"Officially, you will no longer have any friends here."
Silicon Valley
"Shoot."
Silicon Valley
"I have to think about this then."
Silicon Valley
"This settlement offer is quite generous."
Silicon Valley
"I know, I know. I mean, $2 million is a lot of money."
Silicon Valley
"Two? No. It's..."
Silicon Valley
"It's $20 million."
Silicon Valley
"Twenty?"
Silicon Valley
"So they fired me before they hired you,"
Silicon Valley
"so it's not your fault. I just..."
Silicon Valley
"I feel like this... can't really work."
Silicon Valley
"- Do you understand? - I do, Richard."
Silicon Valley
"It's like..."
Silicon Valley
"can I really be expected to do my best work"
Silicon Valley
"when I am constantly feeling undervalued"
Silicon Valley
"at the company that I started?"
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"Does that make sense?"
Silicon Valley
"It does, Richard. Absolutely."
Silicon Valley
"I hear each and every one"
Silicon Valley
"of your concerns loud and clear,"
Silicon Valley
"and I appreciate your position."
Silicon Valley
"Mm."
Silicon Valley
"So, I guess we just won't do it."
Silicon Valley
"Come on, I'll walk you out."
Silicon Valley
"Wait. What?"
Silicon Valley
"Sorry. You what?"
Silicon Valley
"Jack?"
Silicon Valley
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