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Clips from Cheers - A Ditch in Time (S03E03)

HAVE A HEART, WILL YOU?

"HAVE A HEART, WILL YOU?"

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WELL, HEY, LOOK, NORM,

"WELL, HEY, LOOK, NORM,"

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YOU GOT EVERY OTHER MALE NAME DOWN THERE EXCEPT, EH, ZEUS.

"YOU GOT EVERY OTHER MALE NAME DOWN THERE EXCEPT, EH, ZEUS."

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ZEUS. I LIKE THAT. ZEUS.

"ZEUS. I LIKE THAT. ZEUS."

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OH, HEY, DIANE, YOU'RE BACK. GOOD.

"OH, HEY, DIANE, YOU'RE BACK. GOOD."

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I THINK YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED TO KNOW

"I THINK YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED TO KNOW"

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I FINALLY HANDLED THAT STICKY SITUATION WITH AMANDA,

"I FINALLY HANDLED THAT STICKY SITUATION WITH AMANDA,"

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AND I DID IT IN A WAY THAT WILL MAKE YOU VERY PROUD OF ME.

"AND I DID IT IN A WAY THAT WILL MAKE YOU VERY PROUD OF ME."

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REALLY?

"REALLY?"

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YEAH. OOP, GOT TO GO.

"YEAH. OOP, GOT TO GO."

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DIANE...

"DIANE..."

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I KNOW THAT SAM WOULD NOT HAVE WANTED A BIG FUSS...

"I KNOW THAT SAM WOULD NOT HAVE WANTED A BIG FUSS..."

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BUT SHOULDN'T WE HAVE SOME SORT OF FUNERAL FOR HIM?

"BUT SHOULDN'T WE HAVE SOME SORT OF FUNERAL FOR HIM?"

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GOOD LORD.

"GOOD LORD."

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AMANDA, I THINK WE'D BETTER STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT.

"AMANDA, I THINK WE'D BETTER STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT."

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SAM.

"SAM."

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SAM, OPEN THE DOOR. WE HAVE TO TALK.

"SAM, OPEN THE DOOR. WE HAVE TO TALK."

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IS THE FREAK SHOW GONE YET?

"IS THE FREAK SHOW GONE YET?"

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OH, HI. UH...

"OH, HI. UH..."

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WE HAVEN'T BEEN INTRODUCED YET.

"WE HAVEN'T BEEN INTRODUCED YET."

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I'M ED, SAM'S TWIN BROTHER.

"I'M ED, SAM'S TWIN BROTHER."

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I'M HERE TO HANDLE THE ESTATE.

"I'M HERE TO HANDLE THE ESTATE."

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OH, BOY.

"OH, BOY."

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TWIN BROTHER. WHAT A TRICK, HUH?

"TWIN BROTHER. WHAT A TRICK, HUH?"

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THAT'S WHY HE'S THE BOSS.

"THAT'S WHY HE'S THE BOSS."

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I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME, SAM.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME, SAM."

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I'M SORRY, AMANDA. I KNOW IT WAS STUPID AND CRUEL.

"I'M SORRY, AMANDA. I KNOW IT WAS STUPID AND CRUEL."

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I COULD HAVE HANDLED IT BETTER.

"I COULD HAVE HANDLED IT BETTER."

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I GUESS I COULD HAVE PRETENDED TO BE SICK

"I GUESS I COULD HAVE PRETENDED TO BE SICK"

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FOR A FEW DAYS FIRST.

"FOR A FEW DAYS FIRST."

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YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE, SAM.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE, SAM."

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I DO.

"I DO."

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I PUT YOU IN A TERRIBLE SPOT.

"I PUT YOU IN A TERRIBLE SPOT."

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AMANDA...

"AMANDA..."

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DON'T DESPAIR.

"DON'T DESPAIR."

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JUST WHEN MY LIFE SEEMED TO BE ITS DARKEST,

"JUST WHEN MY LIFE SEEMED TO BE ITS DARKEST,"

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I MET FRASIER CRANE

"I MET FRASIER CRANE"

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AND DISCOVERED LOVE DOESN'T HAVE TO HURT YOU.

"AND DISCOVERED LOVE DOESN'T HAVE TO HURT YOU."

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YEAH. YOU CAN SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH IT.

"YEAH. YOU CAN SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH IT."

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I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES HERE, SAM,

"I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES HERE, SAM,"

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AND I HAVE A HISTORY

"AND I HAVE A HISTORY"

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OF BEING WRONG ABOUT MEN.

"OF BEING WRONG ABOUT MEN."

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BUT I KNOW IT'S DIFFERENT

"BUT I KNOW IT'S DIFFERENT"

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THIS TIME WITH YOU.

"THIS TIME WITH YOU."

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NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,

"NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,"

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I'LL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU.

"I'LL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU."

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TILL THE DAY I DIE,

"TILL THE DAY I DIE,"

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YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MINE.

"YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MINE."

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WELL, THIS IS GOING PRETTY WELL,

"WELL, THIS IS GOING PRETTY WELL,"

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WOULDN'T YOU SAY?

"WOULDN'T YOU SAY?"

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AMANDA, I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS,

"AMANDA, I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS,"

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BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING NOW

"BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING NOW"

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THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT SAM.

"THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT SAM."

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NOTHING YOU COULD EVER SAY

"NOTHING YOU COULD EVER SAY"

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WOULD CHANGE THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT HIM.

"WOULD CHANGE THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT HIM."

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EXCEPT THIS.

"EXCEPT THIS."

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EXCEPT NOTHING.

"EXCEPT NOTHING."

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NO MATTER WHAT YOU EVER DO,

"NO MATTER WHAT YOU EVER DO,"

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NO MATTER WHERE YOU EVER GO,

"NO MATTER WHERE YOU EVER GO,"

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I'LL NEVER GET OVER YOU.

"I'LL NEVER GET OVER YOU."

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AMANDA, DO YOU REMEMBER THE MAN

"AMANDA, DO YOU REMEMBER THE MAN"

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I USED TO TALK ABOUT IN GROUP THERAPY?

"I USED TO TALK ABOUT IN GROUP THERAPY?"

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RALPH?

"RALPH?"

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THIS IS RALPH.

"THIS IS RALPH."

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SAM IS RALPH?

"SAM IS RALPH?"

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THAT'S RIGHT.

"THAT'S RIGHT."

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THE MAN TO WHOM YOU JUST PLEDGED YOUR UNDYING LOVE

"THE MAN TO WHOM YOU JUST PLEDGED YOUR UNDYING LOVE"

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IS RALPH.

"IS RALPH."

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WELL, HE CAN'T HOLD ME TO THAT.

"WELL, HE CAN'T HOLD ME TO THAT."

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IF THEY WON'T LET ME SIGN CONTRACTS

"IF THEY WON'T LET ME SIGN CONTRACTS"

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OR HAVE A CREDIT CARD OR VOTE,

"OR HAVE A CREDIT CARD OR VOTE,"

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THEN I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HYSTERICAL HOGWASH

"THEN I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HYSTERICAL HOGWASH"

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THAT I BABBLED IN THE BACK ROOM OF A BAR!

"THAT I BABBLED IN THE BACK ROOM OF A BAR!"

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THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME, DIANE.

"THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME, DIANE."

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OHH!

"OHH!"

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SAM, I WILL THINK OF YOU...

"SAM, I WILL THINK OF YOU..."

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EVERY TIME I SEE SOMETHING SCURRY UNDER THE SINK.

"EVERY TIME I SEE SOMETHING SCURRY UNDER THE SINK."

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I--I DON'T MEAN TO SEEM UNGRATEFUL...

"I--I DON'T MEAN TO SEEM UNGRATEFUL..."

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WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME

"WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME"

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IN THIS GROUP THERAPY?

"IN THIS GROUP THERAPY?"

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I TOLD THEM THE TRUTH.

"I TOLD THEM THE TRUTH."

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FOR INSTANCE?

"FOR INSTANCE?"

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OH, I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO THIS.

"OH, I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO THIS."

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I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES MYSELF.

"I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES MYSELF."

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I WAS NOT A PERFECT GIRLFRIEND.

"I WAS NOT A PERFECT GIRLFRIEND."

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NO. COME ON. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOUSY THINGS

"NO. COME ON. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOUSY THINGS"

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THESE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT ME.

"THESE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT ME."

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OH...I TOLD THEM ABOUT CHRISTMAS.

"OH...I TOLD THEM ABOUT CHRISTMAS."

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THAT AGAIN? WHAT IS WRONG WITH GIVING STEAK KNIVES?

"THAT AGAIN? WHAT IS WRONG WITH GIVING STEAK KNIVES?"

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I GIVE THEM TO MY MOTHER, AND SHE LOVES THEM.

"I GIVE THEM TO MY MOTHER, AND SHE LOVES THEM."

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I GIVE THEM TO YOU, AND I NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT!

"I GIVE THEM TO YOU, AND I NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT!"

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SAM, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES, I WAS YOUR LOVER!

"SAM, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES, I WAS YOUR LOVER!"

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YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN ME SOMETHING MORE PERSONAL.

"YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN ME SOMETHING MORE PERSONAL."

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WHAT DID YOU GIVE ME FOR CHRISTMAS? A SCARF.

"WHAT DID YOU GIVE ME FOR CHRISTMAS? A SCARF."

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WHAT'S SO PERSONABLE ABOUT THAT?

"WHAT'S SO PERSONABLE ABOUT THAT?"

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I KNIT IT MYSELF.

"I KNIT IT MYSELF."

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AND I HAD TO TAKE TOOK CLASSES TO LEARN HOW.

"AND I HAD TO TAKE TOOK CLASSES TO LEARN HOW."

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I SENT AWAY FOR THE CASHMERE MONTHS IN ADVANCE

"I SENT AWAY FOR THE CASHMERE MONTHS IN ADVANCE"

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JUST TO GET THAT PARTICULAR GRADE.

"JUST TO GET THAT PARTICULAR GRADE."

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I CONSULTED A COLORIST

"I CONSULTED A COLORIST"

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TO DETERMINE THE BEST COLORS FOR YOU,

"TO DETERMINE THE BEST COLORS FOR YOU,"

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AND I HAND-DYED THE FABRIC MYSELF!

"AND I HAND-DYED THE FABRIC MYSELF!"

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YEAH, WELL, I WOULD HAVE MADE THE STEAK KNIVES,

"YEAH, WELL, I WOULD HAVE MADE THE STEAK KNIVES,"

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EXCEPT I HOCKED MY FORGE TO BUY THE BAR.

"EXCEPT I HOCKED MY FORGE TO BUY THE BAR."

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WHAT ELSE?

"WHAT ELSE?"

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OHH...

"OHH..."

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I TOLD THEM ABOUT THE TIME

"I TOLD THEM ABOUT THE TIME"

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I WAS LAID UP WITH THE FLU

"I WAS LAID UP WITH THE FLU"

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AND YOU DIDN'T VISIT ME ONCE.

"AND YOU DIDN'T VISIT ME ONCE."

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THAT--THAT--

"THAT--THAT--"

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AND YOU SENT ME SECOND-HAND FLOWERS

"AND YOU SENT ME SECOND-HAND FLOWERS"

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FOR VALENTINE'S DAY.

"FOR VALENTINE'S DAY."

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WELL, I WAS NOWHERE NEAR--

"WELL, I WAS NOWHERE NEAR--"

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DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS OR NOT?

"DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS OR NOT?"

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I TOLD THEM ABOUT THE TIME I COOKED YOU

"I TOLD THEM ABOUT THE TIME I COOKED YOU"

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A SEVEN-COURSE SZECHUAN DINNER FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY,

"A SEVEN-COURSE SZECHUAN DINNER FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY,"

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AND YOU HAD A BURGER ON THE WAY OVER.

"AND YOU HAD A BURGER ON THE WAY OVER."

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I REMEMBER THAT. THERE WAS AN EXPLANATION.

"I REMEMBER THAT. THERE WAS AN EXPLANATION."

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I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS.

"I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS."

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AND THE TIME YOU LIED ABOUT A RELATIVE DYING

"AND THE TIME YOU LIED ABOUT A RELATIVE DYING"

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