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Clips from Lucifer - Bloody Celestial Karaoke Jam (S05E05)

"so, team effort. Up high!"
Lucifer
"[Chloe] Anyhow, so I did some digging."
Lucifer
"The very same day you were seen arguing with Rockwell,"
Lucifer
"you made a big withdrawal from your bank account. $5,000 in cash?"
Lucifer
"Yes, perhaps you made a deal with the referee to make a bad call"
Lucifer
"and then decided not to pay up."
Lucifer
"Look…"
Lucifer
"a week before the game, I did offer him a payout,"
Lucifer
"just to, like, you know, nudge things my way."
Lucifer
"But Mr. High and Mighty… [scoffs] He turned me down."
Lucifer
"Then we get to game time,"
Lucifer
"and he actually does throw a make-or-break in my favor."
Lucifer
"Worst call I've ever seen. So I figured he was just posturing before."
Lucifer
"So I go to pay him off, he acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about."
Lucifer
"Threatens to turn me in."
Lucifer
"So you killed the pious bastard to shut him up. #deservedIt."
Lucifer
"No, I didn't kill anyone. But I think I know how my prints got on that whistle."
Lucifer
"A couple of days ago, someone broke into my truck, my baby."
Lucifer
"And they took my bag. It was just dirty clothes, but…"
Lucifer
"my whistle was in there."
Lucifer
"We're gonna need to take your truck in for processing."
Lucifer
"-You're not gonna hurt her, are you? -Hand the keys over and I won't hurt you."
Lucifer
"-[keys jangle] -Fine."
Lucifer
"Thank you."
Lucifer
"Look at you, all firm and authoritative."
Lucifer
"Solving crimes like a real detective."
Lucifer
"Dad! Dad, would you stop?"
Lucifer
"[exhales] Where's this truck?"
Lucifer
"♪ If you wanna get into it We can do it right now ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Come on… ♪"
Lucifer
"Hey."
Lucifer
"Hey."
Lucifer
"Lucifer told me that you found out about us."
Lucifer
"It must be quite a shock for you, Dan,"
Lucifer
"learning that the celestial world does, in fact, exist."
Lucifer
"And if my divinity makes you uncomfortable at all,"
Lucifer
"I'd be happy to give you some space."
Lucifer
"Yeah, whatever. You're an angel. It's fine."
Lucifer
"But something funny did happen to me today."
Lucifer
"I met your dad."
Lucifer
"You know, God? The Almighty?"
Lucifer
"-I'm familiar. -Maybe I misunderstood."
Lucifer
"But I think he suggested that Charlotte was his wife."
Lucifer
"Oh."
Lucifer
"[chuckles]"
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"For a while, my mom, the Goddess Almighty, was…"
Lucifer
"inhabiting… Charlotte's body."
Lucifer
"Right."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"-And, you know, I'm just wondering, um… -Mm-hmm."
Lucifer
"Was the Goddess ever inhabiting Charlotte's body"
Lucifer
"while I was… inhabiting Charlotte's body?"
Lucifer
"See, I prefer not to talk about this, Dan. But I do believe that there was some, um…"
Lucifer
"overlap."
Lucifer
"Cool."
Lucifer
"Cool, cool, cool, cool."
Lucifer
"And when the Bible says that your dad is a, uh, jealous God,"
Lucifer
"is that, like, a literal thing?"
Lucifer
"I mean, surely he's way above all those…"
Lucifer
"petty human foibles and feelings, right?"
Lucifer
"You know, like, um, jealousy"
Lucifer
"or like murderous, revenge-driven rage?"
Lucifer
"Well…"
Lucifer
"No."
Lucifer
"-[scoffs] -I don't believe he is above those things."
Lucifer
"-[Dan sighs] -Huh. [chuckles]"
Lucifer
"But when it comes down to it, Dan, I mean…"
Lucifer
"we celestials are pretty much the same as you."
Lucifer
"Petty foibles and feelings and all."
Lucifer
"Well, that solves that."
Lucifer
"I slept with God's wife. [cackling]"
Lucifer
"Which means I'm definitely going to Hell."
Lucifer
"Whoo! Can I get a drink, please?"
Lucifer
"["Hell" playing]"
Lucifer
"♪ In the afterlife ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ You could be headed For the serious strife ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Now you make the scene all day ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ But tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ In the afterlife ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ You could be headed For the serious strife ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Now you make the scene all day ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ And tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Now, people, listen attentively I mean about future calamity ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ I used to think the idea was obsolete ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Until I heard The old man stamping his feet ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ In the afterlife ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ You could be headed For the serious strife ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Now you make the scene all day ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ And tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Oh! ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Beauty, talent, fame, money Refinement, top skill and brains ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ But all the things you try to hide ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Will be revealed on the other side ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ In the afterlife ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ You could be headed For the serious strife ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Now you make the scene all day ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ And tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay ♪"
Lucifer
"-[cheering] -[confetti popping]"
Lucifer
"[woman laughing]"
Lucifer
"[God] Such a lively place you have."
Lucifer
"Right, that's it!"
Lucifer
"This bloody celestial karaoke jam, it has to stop."
Lucifer
"Okay, son."
Lucifer
"From now on, ix-nay on the usic-may."
Lucifer
"-Just as soon as this is over. -♪ In the afterlife… ♪"
Lucifer
"Oh, now he's dancing."
Lucifer
"[groans] Excuse me. Thank you."
Lucifer
"-♪ And tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay ♪ -[groans]"
Lucifer
"Dance, children!"
Lucifer
"[woman laughing]"
Lucifer
"[song ends]"
Lucifer
"-[God] Morning. -[snorts]"
Lucifer
"-Dad! -Made you breakfast."
Lucifer
"Dad, boundaries."
Lucifer
"Oh, please! You think this is the first time I've seen you naked?"
Lucifer
"[gasps]"
Lucifer
"In fact, if I had a nickel for every time I've seen a naked body in this room,"
Lucifer
"on this couch, on that desk,"
Lucifer
"on the banister, on the floor, on the piano…"
Lucifer
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