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Clips from Resident Alien - Harry, a Parent (S02E02)

"for my old ankle injury, all right?"
Resident Alien
"It’s not a big deal."
Resident Alien
"- Well, let’s put some snow on it."
Resident Alien
"We’ll get the swelling down."
Resident Alien
"- Oh, yeah, good idea. [scoffs]"
Resident Alien
"Like, just stop parenting me."
Resident Alien
"- [exhales sharply] Wow, D’arcy."
Resident Alien
"[tense music]"
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"- [sighs]"
Resident Alien
"I’m--I’m sorry, Elliot."
Resident Alien
"I’m sorry."
Resident Alien
"Just, let’s-- let’s keep running."
Resident Alien
"- I think I need to go home."
Resident Alien
"I’ll see you later."
Resident Alien
"♪ ♪"
Resident Alien
"- Hey."
Resident Alien
"Ben Hawthorne says he doesn’t want"
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"to pay for therapy this morning."
Resident Alien
"Apparently, you weren’t listening to him?"
Resident Alien
"- I wasn’t. He is boring."
Resident Alien
"- Look, I don’t blame you for being distracted."
Resident Alien
"You know, you just found out you were this Goliath guy,"
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"which also makes you father to an alien baby"
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"that was kidnapped, which is kind of a lot."
Resident Alien
"- I’m only distracted because the alien baby was taken away"
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"before he could tell me"
Resident Alien
"which alien race is taking over the Earth."
Resident Alien
"I do not care about this father-baby stuff."
Resident Alien
"- Harry, it’s human nature to care about your offspring."
Resident Alien
"- It is human nature, not alien nature."
Resident Alien
"We do not care if our children die,"
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"as long as they die in a ditch"
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"and not in the road"
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"where they will make it bumpy for our vehicles."
Resident Alien
"Selfish children."
Resident Alien
"- Okay, look, I’m still confused."
Resident Alien
"The future you sent the past you a message, but how?"
Resident Alien
"Do you have a time machine?"
Resident Alien
"Wait. Can we go back in time?"
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"- [laughs]"
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"There is no such thing as a time machine."
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"The only effective way to travel through time"
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"is through...is through..."
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"There is no word for it."
Resident Alien
"Uh..."
Resident Alien
"[chirping and warbling]"
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"In English,"
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"a portal, I guess, is the closest thing you could say."
Resident Alien
"- Mm."
Resident Alien
"- But you would not understand it."
Resident Alien
"- Try me. Portals. Go on."
Resident Alien
"- A portal is a split"
Resident Alien
"in the fabric of time."
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"- Okay."
Resident Alien
"- Uh, well,"
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"the fabric of time,"
Resident Alien
"and it is like a--"
Resident Alien
"sort of like a poly-wool blend."
Resident Alien
"As the accelerating atoms speed up,"
Resident Alien
"it causes the fabric to peel sort of nubbins because--"
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"- Harry, you don’t know what you’re talking about, do you?"
Resident Alien
"- No, I don’t."
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"My people have never figured it out."
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"I guess I went through an existing portal"
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"left by another alien race."
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"- What?"
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"- There are only two alien species that use portals."
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"The Greys."
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"But it is not them."
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"They have no use for humans,"
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"except to probe their elimination holes."
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"But there is one more."
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"- Who?"
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"- Alpha Draconians."
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"[inquisitive music]"
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"They use portals."
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"- Are they dangerous?"
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"- Not the same way as Greys are,"
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"but they are good at disguising themselves."
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"They can look human."
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"- God!"
Resident Alien
"What the hell?"
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"Were you just picking my nose?"
Resident Alien
"- Alpha Draconians, their nostrils are pleasure zones,"
Resident Alien
"so if you were an Alpha Draconian,"
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"then you would’ve liked that!"
Resident Alien
"- Well, I didn’t like it, and if you do it again,"
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"I will break your finger."
Resident Alien
"- Obviously, you are human, so you passed!"
Resident Alien
"[quiet sentimental music]"
Resident Alien
"- Hey, honey. - Hey."
Resident Alien
"- Missed you this morning with your early therapy,"
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"so I brought you a juice box..."
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"- Ah! - And a sandwich."
Resident Alien
"- Thank you. I am dying of thirst."
Resident Alien
"- Uh-huh."
Resident Alien
"- Throw it out. - Oh."
Resident Alien
"Oh, hey, you know how we’ve been"
Resident Alien
"so excited about the resort moving in?"
Resident Alien
"- Uh-huh. - Well, now I’m thinking"
Resident Alien
"maybe it’s not such a great idea after all."
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"- What? Why not?"
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"- I just think Patience is really great the way it is."
Resident Alien
"Maybe a resort would change it too much."
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"- Wow, look at you."
Resident Alien
""Pretty great the way it is"?"
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"I never thought you’d say that about Patience."
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"- I know. I guess I’m a convert."
Resident Alien
"- Hmm. - Okay, I’m headed to the gym."
Resident Alien
"Love you."
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"- Love you too."
Resident Alien
"We’re still doing the resort, though."
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"- What? - The resort."
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"You know, I, uh--"
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"I think it’s good for the town."
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"- Yeah, yeah."
Resident Alien
"No, I know, but you know,"
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"I don’t think we should support it, so..."
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"- Yeah, I think we should."
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"- Ah."
Resident Alien
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