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Clips from Shallow Hal

Movies 2001 114 min ★ 6.0/10 (156,319 ratings) 1,959 clips
Fantasy Drama Comedy

Credits

Yeah, well, that's probably what I should be ordering, you know?
"Yeah, well, that's probably what I should be ordering, you know?"
Shallow Hal
But I don't know, no matter what I eat,
"But I don't know, no matter what I eat,"
Shallow Hal
my weight just seems to stay the same.
"my weight just seems to stay the same."
Shallow Hal
So I just figure, what the hell? I'm gonna eat what I want.
"So I just figure, what the hell? I'm gonna eat what I want."
Shallow Hal
Oh, totally. If you can get away with it, more power to ya.
"Oh, totally. If you can get away with it, more power to ya."
Shallow Hal
Don't be a smart-ass.
"Don't be a smart-ass."
Shallow Hal
What? No, I'm just saying, you know.
"What? No, I'm just saying, you know."
Shallow Hal
I feel bad for people who count calories. It's no way to live.
"I feel bad for people who count calories. It's no way to live."
Shallow Hal
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Shallow Hal
But in return they get to be a lot thinner than I am.
"But in return they get to be a lot thinner than I am."
Shallow Hal
Uh...
"Uh..."
Shallow Hal
Are you out of your mind?
"Are you out of your mind?"
Shallow Hal
What do you weigh? 110, 115 pounds?
"What do you weigh? 110, 115 pounds?"
Shallow Hal
Which one of my butt cheeks are you talking about?
"Which one of my butt cheeks are you talking about?"
Shallow Hal
Okay.
"Okay."
Shallow Hal
Cuckoo, cuckoo.
"Cuckoo, cuckoo."
Shallow Hal
Trust me, whatever you're doing, it's working.
"Trust me, whatever you're doing, it's working."
Shallow Hal
It is working.
"It is working."
Shallow Hal
Oh, go on.
"Oh, go on."
Shallow Hal
Oh, my God! Are you okay?
"Oh, my God! Are you okay?"
Shallow Hal
Oops.
"Oops."
Shallow Hal
Goddang it. Rosemary, don't move. Is your back all right?
"Goddang it. Rosemary, don't move. Is your back all right?"
Shallow Hal
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Shallow Hal
Is she all right?
"Is she all right?"
Shallow Hal
Listen, you gotta get some decent chairs in here, man.
"Listen, you gotta get some decent chairs in here, man."
Shallow Hal
What's this shit made out of, anyway?
"What's this shit made out of, anyway?"
Shallow Hal
Steel.
"Steel."
Shallow Hal
Yeah? Well, you should get it welded better in the corners!
"Yeah? Well, you should get it welded better in the corners!"
Shallow Hal
All right, then.
"All right, then."
Shallow Hal
Rosemary, you sure you're okay?
"Rosemary, you sure you're okay?"
Shallow Hal
Yeah. I'm a little embarrassed but
"Yeah. I'm a little embarrassed but"
Shallow Hal
it's happened before, it'll happen again.
"it's happened before, it'll happen again."
Shallow Hal
Oh, man.
"Oh, man."
Shallow Hal
Don't be embarrassed. Listen, I beef it. Everybody beefs it.
"Don't be embarrassed. Listen, I beef it. Everybody beefs it."
Shallow Hal
We're too late. The food's probably all gone.
"We're too late. The food's probably all gone."
Shallow Hal
Listen, can you wait here one second?
"Listen, can you wait here one second?"
Shallow Hal
Oh, Hal, just let it go.
"Oh, Hal, just let it go."
Shallow Hal
Nah. Nah.
"Nah. Nah."
Shallow Hal
Hal. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
"Hal. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah."
Shallow Hal
(MOCK LAUGHTER)
"(MOCK LAUGHTER)"
Shallow Hal
You guys are making fun of me 'cause I'm a little pudgy?
"You guys are making fun of me 'cause I'm a little pudgy?"
Shallow Hal
No, I wasn't making fun of you. I was... That's fine.
"No, I wasn't making fun of you. I was... That's fine."
Shallow Hal
Do me a favor. Take a look outside.
"Do me a favor. Take a look outside."
Shallow Hal
You see that little fox out there?
"You see that little fox out there?"
Shallow Hal
See that little number? She's with me.
"See that little number? She's with me."
Shallow Hal
If you took all the women you two have ever gone out with,
"If you took all the women you two have ever gone out with,"
Shallow Hal
they wouldn't equal one of her.
"they wouldn't equal one of her."
Shallow Hal
We're not arguing that. No.
"We're not arguing that. No."
Shallow Hal
(MOCK LAUGHTER)
"(MOCK LAUGHTER)"
Shallow Hal
That's right. Laugh it up, fellas.
"That's right. Laugh it up, fellas."
Shallow Hal
And tonight, when you're hugging your pillow, remember, I'm with her.
"And tonight, when you're hugging your pillow, remember, I'm with her."
Shallow Hal
All right? That's it.
"All right? That's it."
Shallow Hal
Uh!
"Uh!"
Shallow Hal
What happened? Well, let's just say
"What happened? Well, let's just say"
Shallow Hal
the score's Hal two, mall rats zero.
"the score's Hal two, mall rats zero."
Shallow Hal
Let me walk you to your car.
"Let me walk you to your car."
Shallow Hal
Well, thanks for lunch, Hal.
"Well, thanks for lunch, Hal."
Shallow Hal
Ah, my pleasure, Rosie.
"Ah, my pleasure, Rosie."
Shallow Hal
My mother calls me Rosie.
"My mother calls me Rosie."
Shallow Hal
Really? Yeah.
"Really? Yeah."
Shallow Hal
Gentlemen, can I interest you in some chili fries and half a burger?
"Gentlemen, can I interest you in some chili fries and half a burger?"
Shallow Hal
There's a lot left 'cause the little guy couldn't finish his meal.
"There's a lot left 'cause the little guy couldn't finish his meal."
Shallow Hal
Hey. Hey. Pussy.
"Hey. Hey. Pussy."
Shallow Hal
That was nice of you.
"That was nice of you."
Shallow Hal
Well, you're all right in my book, too, Hal.
"Well, you're all right in my book, too, Hal."
Shallow Hal
Can I have your number?
"Can I have your number?"
Shallow Hal
What number?
"What number?"
Shallow Hal
Your PIN number, I want your money!
"Your PIN number, I want your money!"
Shallow Hal
Your phone number. What do you think?
"Your phone number. What do you think?"
Shallow Hal
Why?
"Why?"
Shallow Hal
You know, to go out. Maybe like tomorrow.
"You know, to go out. Maybe like tomorrow."
Shallow Hal
Uh...
"Uh..."
Shallow Hal
Well, yeah.
"Well, yeah."
Shallow Hal
I mean, sure. It's in the book under Rosemary Shanahan.
"I mean, sure. It's in the book under Rosemary Shanahan."
Shallow Hal
I can write it down. It's S-H-A...
"I can write it down. It's S-H-A..."
Shallow Hal
No, I'll remember it.
"No, I'll remember it."
Shallow Hal
My boss's name is Steve Shanahan.
"My boss's name is Steve Shanahan."
Shallow Hal
That's my father's name.
"That's my father's name."
Shallow Hal
Not JPS Steve Shanahan?
"Not JPS Steve Shanahan?"
Shallow Hal
Yeah!
"Yeah!"
Shallow Hal
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Shallow Hal
Your father is my boss.
"Your father is my boss."
Shallow Hal
I mean, not my boss. He's my boss's boss.
"I mean, not my boss. He's my boss's boss."
Shallow Hal
I mean, I don't know him, but I see him around the office.
"I mean, I don't know him, but I see him around the office."
Shallow Hal
Well, then you won't forget my name.
"Well, then you won't forget my name."
Shallow Hal
Hal? Yeah?
"Hal? Yeah?"
Shallow Hal
If I don't hear from you,
"If I don't hear from you,"
Shallow Hal
I appreciate everything, anyway.
"I appreciate everything, anyway."
Shallow Hal
Cuckoo.
"Cuckoo."
Shallow Hal
You sure you don't want a dog?
"You sure you don't want a dog?"
Shallow Hal
Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to lose a couple of lbs.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to lose a couple of lbs."
Shallow Hal
Since when do you care about your gut?
"Since when do you care about your gut?"
Shallow Hal
I don't really, but I'm a little nervous.
"I don't really, but I'm a little nervous."
Shallow Hal
This girl who's coming to meet me here is in incredible.
"This girl who's coming to meet me here is in incredible."
Shallow Hal
Uh-huh?
"Uh-huh?"
Shallow Hal
Like the ones on the dance floor the other night?
"Like the ones on the dance floor the other night?"
Shallow Hal
Even better, buddy. I'm telling you, it's almost beyond belief.
"Even better, buddy. I'm telling you, it's almost beyond belief."
Shallow Hal
She's funny, she's smart, she teaches self-esteem to sick kids.
"She's funny, she's smart, she teaches self-esteem to sick kids."
Shallow Hal
And I would never believe a girl as beautiful could have
"And I would never believe a girl as beautiful could have"
Shallow Hal
such a great personality.
"such a great personality."
Shallow Hal
Ugly duckling syndrome. She probably wasn't pretty till high school.
"Ugly duckling syndrome. She probably wasn't pretty till high school."
Shallow Hal
The personality had to develop out of necessity.
"The personality had to develop out of necessity."
Shallow Hal
You know what? I bet you're right.
"You know what? I bet you're right."
Shallow Hal
She's way too pretty to be so nice.
"She's way too pretty to be so nice."
Shallow Hal
Sometimes they're ugly so long,
"Sometimes they're ugly so long,"
Shallow Hal
they turn pretty and don't realize it.
"they turn pretty and don't realize it."
Shallow Hal
The ugly self-image is so well ingrained. That's a real find.
"The ugly self-image is so well ingrained. That's a real find."
Shallow Hal
Hey! Hey!
"Hey! Hey!"
Shallow Hal
I've been looking for you.
"I've been looking for you."
Shallow Hal
Oh, shit. Oh, it's Lindy. The girl with the toe.
"Oh, shit. Oh, it's Lindy. The girl with the toe."
Shallow Hal
Hey, Mauricio. How ya doing?
"Hey, Mauricio. How ya doing?"
Shallow Hal
Good. Did you get my message?
"Good. Did you get my message?"
Shallow Hal
No, no. My phone machine's not really working there. Did you call?
"No, no. My phone machine's not really working there. Did you call?"
Shallow Hal
I got tickets for that Beatles reunion.
"I got tickets for that Beatles reunion."
Shallow Hal
The Beatles?
"The Beatles?"
Shallow Hal
Yeah. Well, not the real Beatles,
"Yeah. Well, not the real Beatles,"
Shallow Hal
but Paul, George and Ringo will be there.
"but Paul, George and Ringo will be there."
Shallow Hal
But Eric Clapton is filling in for John.
"But Eric Clapton is filling in for John."
Shallow Hal
It's an invitation-only acoustic set.
"It's an invitation-only acoustic set."
Shallow Hal
Only about 70 people, tops.
"Only about 70 people, tops."
Shallow Hal