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Clips from The Monkees - Monkee See, Monkee Die (S01E01)

"Wait! Come back."
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"So then we put Micky's knock out"
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"drops in the wine decanter and that was that."
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"You boys have been through a lot, but as"
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"long as you're all okay, you've done alright."
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"I think one of them is ready to talk now. You're all free to go."
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"Perhaps you've read some of my books."
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"'Akron: The City Behind the Myth'."
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"'A Teenager's Guide to Tijuana'?"
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"- 'Plan Walking Tours Through the Sahara'? - No."
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"- 'South Dakota: Fact or Fiction'? - No."
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"- 'Beverly Hills on Five Shootings a Day'? - No."
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"'Uticus: City on the Moon'?"
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"[Knock on door]"
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"Hey you guys. Let me in there, or I'll break down the door."
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"A way with words."
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"I am kicking you out!"
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"Hey, what's the matter? We paid the rent the first of September."
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"Yeah, but that was for July!"
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"Okay look. We'll pay the rent as soon as the fix the things you promised to fix."
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"Fix? What fix? This place, this place is like a castle."
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"Yeah, well okay, in this castle the moot overflows."
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"The roof leaks."
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"And the plaster's falling."
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"Yeah, and the phone doesn't work."
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"Guys, I am through being Mister Nice Guy."
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"My lawyer's on his way over."
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"And he's coming here with dispossess papers and then out you go!"
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"Dispossess papers?"
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"What are we gonna do?"
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"When the lawyer gets here, we don't have to be here."
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"When he asks for the Monkees, all we have to say is..."
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"Who!"
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"The Monkees."
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"No, no, never heard of them."
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"Well, they are suppose to be at this address."
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"I gotta see them about a legal matter."
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"Actually sir."
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"Who are you?"
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"The 23 hour doorman."
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"What?!"
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"I used to be the 24 hour doorman, but I couldn't take the long hours."
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"Ah, your TV's working mister."
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"Is the TV working?"
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"It's working so hard, it's tired."
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"But if you do run across the Monkees,"
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"tell them to be at Cunningham Island tonight at 9."
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"You betcha big fella."
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"Quiet! They've been left in a legacy by an eccentric millionaire."
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"The Monkees in unison: Eccentric millionaire!"
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"Eccentric millionaire! Millionaire! Wait."
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"Sir, uh, you see, we really are the Monkees."
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"Oh, I understand. Now everything is perfectly clear."
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"You were just pretending to be someone else."
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"Yeah, you know. We were just kidding around."
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"Yeah, of course I know. Do me one favour please?"
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"Anything."
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"If you do run across the Monkees, tell 'em I called."
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"Here we come Walkin' down the street"
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"We get the funniest looks from Ev'ry one we meet"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees And people say we monkey around"
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"But we're too busy singing To put anybody down"
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"We're just tryin' to be friendly Come and watch us sing and play"
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"We're the young generation And we've got something to say"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees You never know where we'll be found"
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"So you better get ready"
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"We may be comin' to your town"
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"Well uh, it's a little gloomy, but uh,"
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"we could probably work wonders with just a few geraniums."
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"Uh huh, redecorate. I'm leaving."
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"How do you do gentlemen?"
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"You're just in time for the reading of the will."
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"I'm Ralph, butler to the late John Cunningham."
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"Uh, excuse me Ralph. You know, we really don't even know why we're here."
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"I don't even think that we ever even met the late Mr. John Cunningham."
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"I mean even when he was early."
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"I have a... A long time ago, you returned a wallet to Mr. Cunningham"
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"containing six hundred dollars. He always appreciated that."
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"Ah, cause it showed our honesty."
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"Oh no son, because it wasn't his wallet."
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"That is Madam Roselle, the late Mr. Cunningham's spiritualist."
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"She reads minds, tells fortunes, reads palms."
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"Wanna read my palm?"
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"No, what'll they make it into a movie."
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"How do you do? You're very happy to meet me."
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"Uh, yes ma'am, we are. Well listen, can you really and truly..."
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"Can I read minds and tell the future you were about to say."
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"Yes I can. For example, mm."
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"We're gonna have snow tomorrow."
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"Mr. Harris Klingsley, the late Mr. Cunningham's travelling companion."
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"Perhaps you've read some of my books."
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"'Plan Walking Tours Through the Sahara'?"
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"No, I don't."
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"'Beverly Hills on Five Shootings a Day'?"
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"I'm afraid I..."
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"Miss Ellie Reynolds, the late Mr. Cunningham's grandniece."
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"Davy? Davy?"
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"Davy?! Davy?"
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"Statistics prove that two out of every three teenage marriages end in divorce."
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"Three out of three."
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"Four, four out of three."
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"He's in love."
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"Yeah, for the very first time today."
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"'Who's Whom on Eddie's Island'?"
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"No, I don't think so."
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"'Uticus: City on the Moon'?"
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"No, I'm afraid I don't."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, I should like to play the will."
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"Play the will?"
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"The late Mr. Cunningham recorded his will on a phonograph record."
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"It'll never sell."
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"How about the flip side?"
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"Voice of the late John Cunningham."
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"This is a recording. I'm sorry I can't be with you, but I'm dead."
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"Well, what can I say except, wish you were here. (laughs)"
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"I wish he'd come to the part about my inheriting the mansion."
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"You inheriting the mansion? The mansion is to be mine."
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"Wait, let me check."
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"Yes, yes, that's right. The mansion is to be mine."
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"To the Monkees, I leave the library organ"
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