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Clips from Cheers - No Help Wanted (S02E02)

HERE'S YOUR RETURN.

"HERE'S YOUR RETURN."

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OH, THANK YOU.

"OH, THANK YOU."

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OOH, A NICE, HEALTHY REFUND.

"OOH, A NICE, HEALTHY REFUND."

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I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THAT.

"I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THAT."

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ALL THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS' FEES WERE DEDUCTIBLE, DIANE.

"ALL THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS' FEES WERE DEDUCTIBLE, DIANE."

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BOY, THOSE DAILY SESSIONS BACK IN FEBRUARY,

"BOY, THOSE DAILY SESSIONS BACK IN FEBRUARY,"

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WHOO, WE'RE TALKING A GOLD MINE HERE.

"WHOO, WE'RE TALKING A GOLD MINE HERE."

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SHUT UP, NORMAN. I'M BETTER. I'M BETTER.

"SHUT UP, NORMAN. I'M BETTER. I'M BETTER."

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SAM...

"SAM..."

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FEBRUARY WAS KIND OF A ROUGH MONTH, WASN'T IT?

"FEBRUARY WAS KIND OF A ROUGH MONTH, WASN'T IT?"

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OK. HA HA!

"OK. HA HA!"

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SAM, WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR NORMAN IS A MIRACLE.

"SAM, WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR NORMAN IS A MIRACLE."

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I'M VERY PROUD.

"I'M VERY PROUD."

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IT WAS NOTHING.

"IT WAS NOTHING."

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NO, DON'T BE MODEST.

"NO, DON'T BE MODEST."

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YOU STOOD BY HIM WHEN HE NEEDED YOU.

"YOU STOOD BY HIM WHEN HE NEEDED YOU."

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WHEN HE TOLD YOU YOU WERE GETTING $15,000 BACK,

"WHEN HE TOLD YOU YOU WERE GETTING $15,000 BACK,"

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EVEN I BLANCHED.

"EVEN I BLANCHED."

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AND MONEY MEANS NO MORE TO ME

"AND MONEY MEANS NO MORE TO ME"

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THAN IT DOES TO THE CREATURES IN THE FOREST

"THAN IT DOES TO THE CREATURES IN THE FOREST"

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OR THE BEASTS IN THE FIELD.

"OR THE BEASTS IN THE FIELD."

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OOH, SAMMY, GIVE ME A HAND HERE WITH THIS STUFF.

"OOH, SAMMY, GIVE ME A HAND HERE WITH THIS STUFF."

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[TELEPHONE RINGS]

"[TELEPHONE RINGS]"

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COACH, COULD YOU GET THAT? YEAH.

"COACH, COULD YOU GET THAT? YEAH."

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[RING]

"[RING]"

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CHEERS.

"CHEERS."

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SAM, IT'S FOR YOU.

"SAM, IT'S FOR YOU."

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I'M BUSY, COACH. CAN YOU TAKE A MESSAGE?

"I'M BUSY, COACH. CAN YOU TAKE A MESSAGE?"

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CAN I TAKE A MESSAGE? HE'S BUSY.

"CAN I TAKE A MESSAGE? HE'S BUSY."

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UH-HUH.

"UH-HUH."

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YEAH. RIGHT.

"YEAH. RIGHT."

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RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.

"RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT."

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SAM, THAT WAS YOUR ACCOUNTANT, SY.

"SAM, THAT WAS YOUR ACCOUNTANT, SY."

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HE SAID-- OH, BELL DAY! BELL DAY!

"HE SAID-- OH, BELL DAY! BELL DAY!"

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[INAUDIBLE]

"[INAUDIBLE]"

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AND HE SAID YOUR TAX RETURNS ARE READY.

"AND HE SAID YOUR TAX RETURNS ARE READY."

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[CLANK]

"[CLANK]"

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WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE, SAM?

"WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE, SAM?"

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WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ABOUT BELL DAY?

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ABOUT BELL DAY?"

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DID YOU SEND IN THE RETURN I PREPARED FOR YOU OR NOT?

"DID YOU SEND IN THE RETURN I PREPARED FOR YOU OR NOT?"

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NO, NORM. I--I DIDN'T.

"NO, NORM. I--I DIDN'T."

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WHY NOT?

"WHY NOT?"

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WELL, I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU THIS,

"WELL, I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU THIS,"

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BUT I'M--I'M REAL CONSERVATIVE WHEN IT COMES TO MONEY.

"BUT I'M--I'M REAL CONSERVATIVE WHEN IT COMES TO MONEY."

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OK, LET ME JUST GET THIS STRAIGHT HERE.

"OK, LET ME JUST GET THIS STRAIGHT HERE."

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YOU DON'T TRUST ME AND MY WORK,

"YOU DON'T TRUST ME AND MY WORK,"

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SO YOU HAD SOMEBODY ELSE DO YOUR TAXES.

"SO YOU HAD SOMEBODY ELSE DO YOUR TAXES."

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IT'S JUST--A $15,000 REFUND SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME.

"IT'S JUST--A $15,000 REFUND SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME."

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I MEAN, I'VE NEVER GOTTEN ANY KIND OF REFUND BEFORE AT ALL.

"I MEAN, I'VE NEVER GOTTEN ANY KIND OF REFUND BEFORE AT ALL."

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YOU KNOW WHY? THAT ACCOUNTANT

"YOU KNOW WHY? THAT ACCOUNTANT"

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YOU HAD IS A WIMP, SAM.

"YOU HAD IS A WIMP, SAM."

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I WENT THROUGH THOSE PREVIOUS RETURNS.

"I WENT THROUGH THOSE PREVIOUS RETURNS."

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THE GUY WOULDN'T KNOW A DEDUCTION IF HE SAT ON IT!

"THE GUY WOULDN'T KNOW A DEDUCTION IF HE SAT ON IT!"

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WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, SAMMY,

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, SAMMY,"

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THAT NORM PULLED A $15,000 BONER?

"THAT NORM PULLED A $15,000 BONER?"

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YEAH.

"YEAH."

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COME ON. I WAS JUST TRYING TO PROTECT MYSELF.

"COME ON. I WAS JUST TRYING TO PROTECT MYSELF."

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ANY ONE OF YOU WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME THING, RIGHT?

"ANY ONE OF YOU WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME THING, RIGHT?"

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OH, COME ON. YOU WOULD, TOO, AND YOU KNOW IT.

"OH, COME ON. YOU WOULD, TOO, AND YOU KNOW IT."

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OK, LET'S JUST-- LET'S JUST DROP THIS, ALL RIGHT?

"OK, LET'S JUST-- LET'S JUST DROP THIS, ALL RIGHT?"

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I DIDN'T WANT NORM TO DO MY TAXES IN THE FIRST PLACE, REMEMBER?

"I DIDN'T WANT NORM TO DO MY TAXES IN THE FIRST PLACE, REMEMBER?"

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IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU SHOULDN'T DO BUSINESS WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

"IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU SHOULDN'T DO BUSINESS WITH YOUR FRIENDS."

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THEN YOU'RE SAFE GOING INTO BUSINESS

"THEN YOU'RE SAFE GOING INTO BUSINESS"

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WITH ANYBODY IN THIS ROOM.

"WITH ANYBODY IN THIS ROOM."

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YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.

"YEAH. YEAH. YEAH."

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OH, COME ON NOW.

"OH, COME ON NOW."

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ISN'T ANYBODY ON MY SIDE HERE?

"ISN'T ANYBODY ON MY SIDE HERE?"

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LISTEN, ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS TRY TO PROTECT MY BUSINESS

"LISTEN, ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS TRY TO PROTECT MY BUSINESS"

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AND NOT OFFEND NORM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

"AND NOT OFFEND NORM IN THE FIRST PLACE."

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SAM, I'M STANDING BY YOU.

"SAM, I'M STANDING BY YOU."

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I MAY NOT AGREE WITH YOU, BUT I ADMIRE YOUR COURAGE.

"I MAY NOT AGREE WITH YOU, BUT I ADMIRE YOUR COURAGE."

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I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.

"I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL."

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WAIT, YOU DO?

"WAIT, YOU DO?"

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YES. I'VE HAD PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

"YES. I'VE HAD PERSONAL EXPERIENCE"

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STANDING AGAINST THE MAJORITY,

"STANDING AGAINST THE MAJORITY,"

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RESISTING THE FORCE OF PUBLIC OPINION

"RESISTING THE FORCE OF PUBLIC OPINION"

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FOR THE SAKE OF PERSONAL PRINCIPLE.

"FOR THE SAKE OF PERSONAL PRINCIPLE."

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IS THAT RIGHT? LIKE WHAT? WHAT?

"IS THAT RIGHT? LIKE WHAT? WHAT?"

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WELL, MY SENIOR YEAR, I FOUGHT SINGLE-HANDEDLY

"WELL, MY SENIOR YEAR, I FOUGHT SINGLE-HANDEDLY"

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TO INTEGRATE MY SORORITY.

"TO INTEGRATE MY SORORITY."

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HEY, YOU HEAR THIS?

"HEY, YOU HEAR THIS?"

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WHAT, THEY WOULDN'T LET BLACKS IN?

"WHAT, THEY WOULDN'T LET BLACKS IN?"

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WELL, IT WASN'T EXACTLY BLACKS.

"WELL, IT WASN'T EXACTLY BLACKS."

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THAT'S REALLY NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS--

"THAT'S REALLY NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS--"

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WHAT WAS IT, JUST SOME OTHER RACE?

"WHAT WAS IT, JUST SOME OTHER RACE?"

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WELL, NO.

"WELL, NO."

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A RELIGION?

"A RELIGION?"

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WELL, IT WASN'T EXACTLY A RELIGION.

"WELL, IT WASN'T EXACTLY A RELIGION."

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WELL, COME ON. WHO? WHO?

"WELL, COME ON. WHO? WHO?"

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[MUMBLING]

"[MUMBLING]"

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WHAT? WHO WOULDN'T THEY LET IN?

"WHAT? WHO WOULDN'T THEY LET IN?"

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GIRLS WITH POORLY PUBLICIZED COMING-OUT PARTIES.

"GIRLS WITH POORLY PUBLICIZED COMING-OUT PARTIES."

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AND WITHIN A COUPLE OF MONTHS, THEY BLENDED RIGHT IN.

"AND WITHIN A COUPLE OF MONTHS, THEY BLENDED RIGHT IN."

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ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

"ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU."

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I MEAN, IF YOU DON'T TRUST ME AS AN ACCOUNTANT,

"I MEAN, IF YOU DON'T TRUST ME AS AN ACCOUNTANT,"

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YOU DON'T TRUST ME AS A FRIEND.

"YOU DON'T TRUST ME AS A FRIEND."

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COME ON, STOP RIGHT THERE.

"COME ON, STOP RIGHT THERE."

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LISTEN, YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN TO SEPARATE

"LISTEN, YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN TO SEPARATE"

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BUSINESS FROM FRIENDSHIP.

"BUSINESS FROM FRIENDSHIP."

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NO, NO. THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO SEPARATE

"NO, NO. THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO SEPARATE"

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IS YOU FROM MY LIFE.

"IS YOU FROM MY LIFE."

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HEY, COME ON. LISTEN, IF I GET INTO TROUBLE AT THE IRS,

"HEY, COME ON. LISTEN, IF I GET INTO TROUBLE AT THE IRS,"

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I COULD GO TO JAIL.

"I COULD GO TO JAIL."

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AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PRETTY BOYS WHEN THEY GO TO JAIL.

"AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PRETTY BOYS WHEN THEY GO TO JAIL."

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YOU KNOW, YOUR-- YOUR ATTITUDE IS UNPROFESSIONAL.

"YOU KNOW, YOUR-- YOUR ATTITUDE IS UNPROFESSIONAL."

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OH, NOW I'M UNPROFESSIONAL. IS THAT IT?

"OH, NOW I'M UNPROFESSIONAL. IS THAT IT?"

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YEAH.

"YEAH."

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YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?"

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LISTEN, GUYS. DON'T SAY ANYTHING YOU'LL REGRET.

"LISTEN, GUYS. DON'T SAY ANYTHING YOU'LL REGRET."

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YOU'RE A BACK-STABBER.

"YOU'RE A BACK-STABBER."

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YOU KNOW SOMETHING? YOU ARE A BIG BABY, NORMAN.

"YOU KNOW SOMETHING? YOU ARE A BIG BABY, NORMAN."

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HAIR HAT!

"HAIR HAT!"

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HAM HOCK!

"HAM HOCK!"

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GOOSE NECK! THIS IS FUN.

"GOOSE NECK! THIS IS FUN."

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WE ARE NOT THE ONES FIGHTING HERE,

"WE ARE NOT THE ONES FIGHTING HERE,"

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SPAGHETTI BREATH.

"SPAGHETTI BREATH."

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YOU'RE BAD, MALONE. B-A-D, YOU'RE BAD.

"YOU'RE BAD, MALONE. B-A-D, YOU'RE BAD."

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YOU'RE STARTING TO GET ON MY NERVES. YOU KNOW THAT?

"YOU'RE STARTING TO GET ON MY NERVES. YOU KNOW THAT?"

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THE TRUTH HURTS, HUH, MALONE?

"THE TRUTH HURTS, HUH, MALONE?"

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OH, MY GOD! WOULD THE TWO OF YOU LISTEN TO YOURSELVES?

"OH, MY GOD! WOULD THE TWO OF YOU LISTEN TO YOURSELVES?"

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