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Clips from Workaholics (2011) - Timechair (S04E04)

"{pub}No, you die, okay? You're dead. There's nothing."
Workaholics (2011)
"Just your body getting eaten by worms and slugs."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Ugh. - Yeah, I don't know, though."
Workaholics (2011)
"I think that heaven is real, and I'm gonna go to it,"
Workaholics (2011)
"'cause, like, right before I die, I'm gonna just join all the religions, right?"
Workaholics (2011)
"So if, like, God is actually, like,"
Workaholics (2011)
"Buddha or, like, Jesus, or, like, Tom Cruise,"
Workaholics (2011)
"like, I'll get up there, and I'll be like, "Yo, man, check the list. I'm on that.""
Workaholics (2011)
"- Right. - You know what I mean?"
Workaholics (2011)
"I don't know, man. I'm just tossed up because, like, part of me is like,"
Workaholics (2011)
"dude, I wanna party with Satan, 'cause he, like, seems pretty cool,"
Workaholics (2011)
"but then again, I'm really trying to kick it with the big N.W.O. out in the sky."
Workaholics (2011)
"- You know what I mean? - Well, he has, like, horns on his head,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and the other dude is just like Morgan Freeman..."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Right, right. - Who's God."
Workaholics (2011)
"And although he's pretty cool and he has..."
Workaholics (2011)
"Wears earrings and, like, bangs, like, you know, 19-year-old models..."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yeah. - Actually, let's kick it with Morgan Freeman."
Workaholics (2011)
"Are we sure he's not Satan?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, I don't care how long you've been a veterinarian."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Oh, damn. - Oh, damn."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Oh, shoot. - She was supposed to have her nails trimmed"
Workaholics (2011)
"and her anal glands expressed, and guess what, pal... they weren't."
Workaholics (2011)
"Boss, boss, boss, boss."
Workaholics (2011)
"Whoa. What the heck is this?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo. What are we looking at here?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Hello. Excuse me, sir. What is all this?"
Workaholics (2011)
"We're having our annual employee appreciation day."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Cool! - Employee apprec..."
Workaholics (2011)
"This is the frickin' coolest company ever."
Workaholics (2011)
"It's like Pixar or something or like Panera bread."
Workaholics (2011)
"At the end of the night, instead of throwing away"
Workaholics (2011)
"all the bread, they give the employees the bread."
Workaholics (2011)
"They're like, hey, you did a great job"
Workaholics (2011)
"on the cash register today, Sharon... take home a sourdough."
Workaholics (2011)
"- And they split up the breads. - Oh, sourdough."
Workaholics (2011)
"We love hot bread. We love a good hot bread."
Workaholics (2011)
"That sounds good, but we make dog food for the military."
Workaholics (2011)
"Well, I'd eat dog food if you'd let me ride one of these things."
Workaholics (2011)
"Military dogs, dude. Oh, that could be an Air Bud sequel."
Workaholics (2011)
"Like, kill 'em all, let dogs sort them out."
Workaholics (2011)
"Dogs sort 'em out."
Workaholics (2011)
"I didn't like that one."
Workaholics (2011)
"- He didn't get it. - Can we ride the go-karts?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Sorry, guys, these go-karts are for employees only."
Workaholics (2011)
"Hey, we're employees over there, right over there."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Technically. - Telamericorp."
Workaholics (2011)
"- We're employed. - Well, our employees."
Workaholics (2011)
"We have little kids that want to ride them, so..."
Workaholics (2011)
"Okay, I think I know what's up."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Hold up, man. - Yeah, yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"Allow me to give you some green to ride, huh?"
Workaholics (2011)
"I ain't talking money. Boop, boop, boop, huh?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- You like-a the kind? - Do you like weed?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- You wanna smack-a-bee? - Guys, it's not happening, okay?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Okay. Wow, well, you're being a rude dickhead."
Workaholics (2011)
"We're trying to give you drugs in exchange to ride go-karts,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and instead, you're a real frickin' prick about it."
Workaholics (2011)
"Get the hell out of here, you burnouts!"
Workaholics (2011)
"You come to the parking lot near our work,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and you tell us that we can't freakin' ride your go-karts?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yeah! - I don't think so, Jack!"
Workaholics (2011)
"I'm gonna frickin' flip this bitch over!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Oh! - Oh! Ooh!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Guys, a little help. - If you flip that go-kart over,"
Workaholics (2011)
"I'm gonna beat the fuck out of you."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yeah, he looks serious. - Okay, yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"I'm a little more intimidated by him. You kinda look like a little bitch."
Workaholics (2011)
"Hey, you know what? No hard feelings, and in fact..."
Workaholics (2011)
"Sorry. Irish guys."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Suck my dick! - Okay, run!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Go, go, go! - Run run run run run!"
Workaholics (2011)
"Suck his dick! Don't touch mine."
Workaholics (2011)
"Hey. Where the hell have you been?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Uh... - And you reek of weed."
Workaholics (2011)
"- No, us? - Uh, actually, that's go-kart fumes,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and you'd know that if you would ever"
Workaholics (2011)
"employee appreciate us every once in a while."
Workaholics (2011)
"All we want is an entire day where you thank us with go-karts"
Workaholics (2011)
"and maybe a cotton candy machine and may... I was thinking maybe, like,"
Workaholics (2011)
"the goo goo dolls could perform, and I could sing Iris with them onstage."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yeah. - Personally, I don't want the world to see me,"
Workaholics (2011)
"'cause I don't think they'd understand."
Workaholics (2011)
"They wouldn't."
Workaholics (2011)
"Well, I'd appreciate if you'd get back on the phones."
Workaholics (2011)
"You know what? Why don't you appreciate us"
Workaholics (2011)
"for the calls we've already made for you?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Get back to your desks, now!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Okay. - Okay."
Workaholics (2011)
"Oh, my God, we are fricking funny, dude."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yeah. - Ders, you are a straight-up Photoshop Gandalf, my man."
Workaholics (2011)
"- That is so good. - So you're, like... that's a..."
Workaholics (2011)
"- You're a wizard, right? - Yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"- That's what I meant. - "Erect chin pills.""
Workaholics (2011)
"I cannot wait for somebody to call us."
Workaholics (2011)
"- We're gonna burn 'em, right? - Yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Right? - It's so funny because, like,"
Workaholics (2011)
"you can't just take a pill and make your chin bigger."
Workaholics (2011)
"You need to have surgery for that."
Workaholics (2011)
"Right, yeah, no, that's true, but, um, you know, the joke is that "erect chin""
Workaholics (2011)
"- sounds just like "erection". - It does."
Workaholics (2011)
"Ha ha. Yeah, uh, uh,"
Workaholics (2011)
"but erection pills actually work."
Workaholics (2011)
"And chin pills do not, and that is the joke."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"Whoa, dudes, check a load of this."
Workaholics (2011)
""Free massage chair." When did that get up there?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Oh, my gosh."
Workaholics (2011)
"This thing is freaking incredible."
Workaholics (2011)
"I mean, this chair is legit, dude, and for free?"
Workaholics (2011)
"What I love about it is now I don't have to make you guys walk on my back."
Workaholics (2011)
"- I'm gonna call this guy. - You don't make me do that."
Workaholics (2011)
"I do that to massage my feet."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, to be honest, I hate walking on his back, man,"
Workaholics (2011)
"because, like, I'm afraid that I'm gonna toothpaste-tube poop out of his butt."
Workaholics (2011)
"Hello, yes, I'm calling about the massage chair."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, I was won..."
Workaholics (2011)
"Okay."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yes. Okay. Thank you, thank you, thank you."
Workaholics (2011)
"Okay, okay, okay. Update, update. Just talked to the guy. Here's the deal."
Workaholics (2011)
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