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Clips from Russian Doll - A Warm Body (S01E01)

"This fucking guy."
Russian Doll
"You know, he put his coat over me while I was sleeping,"
Russian Doll
"and I'm like, "Don't do shit like that, man.""
Russian Doll
"You know, it's been six months."
Russian Doll
"You don't do that. I could have bed bugs."
Russian Doll
"I forgot that you're turned off by chivalry, but it's sweet."
Russian Doll
"Yeah, well, so is cyanide."
Russian Doll
"Is cyanide sweet, though?"
Russian Doll
"Is that why Jimmy Jones used it in the Kool-Aid,"
Russian Doll
"so the kids can't taste it?"
Russian Doll
"[Lizzy] Jones sounds bonkers. Have you seen those pictures?"
Russian Doll
"They're amazing. Maybe that should be our next installation."
Russian Doll
"-[Maxine] Yes! -[Lizzy] Right? Something Jonestown."
Russian Doll
"-[Maxine] Maybe I should start a religion. -[Lizzy] Okay."
Russian Doll
"[Maxine] Then I could really make an impact."
Russian Doll
"Okay, big ideas. Look at this."
Russian Doll
"Dolores Huerta."
Russian Doll
"Eighty-seven years old. I mean..."
Russian Doll
"Do you even understand how much time you have left, Maxine?"
Russian Doll
"Yeah."
Russian Doll
"I mean, you're gonna do fucking huge things. Huge."
Russian Doll
"Thanks."
Russian Doll
"Oh, I didn't know you cared about stuff like this."
Russian Doll
"Oh. Well, I don't really. Look."
Russian Doll
"-What does this say? -[Maxine] I don't know."
Russian Doll
"The congregation that used to own this building."
Russian Doll
"Yep, that's them."
Russian Doll
"And they're still around. I think on 14th Street."
Russian Doll
"Fuck yes."
Russian Doll
"Dolores Huerta."
Russian Doll
"Hey! Shabbat shalom."
Russian Doll
"It's not Shabbat."
Russian Doll
"Fine by me. Hi."
Russian Doll
"I'm Nadia."
Russian Doll
"Sorry I'm a little out of breath. I was just grabbing you a mango."
Russian Doll
"Do you like mango?"
Russian Doll
"It was on the way, sort of, so..."
Russian Doll
"Sure, take it. What's your name?"
Russian Doll
"Shifra."
Russian Doll
"Hi, Shifra."
Russian Doll
"I was wondering if I could ask you about one of these synagogue's properties."
Russian Doll
"It's the old yeshiva on 10th and A. It's a bunch of lofts now."
Russian Doll
"Oh, before my time. The rabbi might know, but--"
Russian Doll
"-Oh, thank you so much. -Oh, no, no, no."
Russian Doll
"The rabbi is getting ready to go to Great Neck."
Russian Doll
"He's giving a speech. It's kind of a big deal."
Russian Doll
"So I'm afraid he doesn't have time for you."
Russian Doll
"That's fine. I don't mind Great Neck. I love Great Neck."
Russian Doll
"Well, it's a problem for him because he doesn't have time for you, okay?"
Russian Doll
"So why don't you come back another day? Make an appointment."
Russian Doll
"See, here's the thing. Uh..."
Russian Doll
"I think I might only have the day that the rabbi goes to Great Neck."
Russian Doll
"I'm not just gonna let you go in and see the rabbi."
Russian Doll
"Not just some single woman off the street."
Russian Doll
"What, you-- you think I'm gonna try to sleep with the rabbi?"
Russian Doll
"I don't know what you're capable of trying."
Russian Doll
"For the record, I happen to be a heavily married woman."
Russian Doll
"Wonderful."
Russian Doll
"-It is. -Why don't you bring your husband by?"
Russian Doll
"-And he can speak to the rabbi. -Okay."
Russian Doll
"-Okay? -Okay."
Russian Doll
"-He can speak to the rabbi. -Not a problem."
Russian Doll
"-Well, I'm ordering a car. -Okay."
Russian Doll
"Hi. I'd like to order a car."
Russian Doll
"And... yes, to Long Island, 1:45."
Russian Doll
"Thank you."
Russian Doll
"[phone vibrates]"
Russian Doll
"-Hey. -[Nadia] Hey, poppy cock."
Russian Doll
"-Thanks for picking up. -It was nice seeing you last night."
Russian Doll
"[Nadia] Yeah, well, you know, hocus pocus."
Russian Doll
"Thanks to you, I got a chance to wear my trench coat today. I look like Columbo."
Russian Doll
"-Oh. No one's mad at Peter Falk, right? -[John] Sure."
Russian Doll
"Uh..."
Russian Doll
"I-- I need your help. Uh..."
Russian Doll
"I'll explain when you get here."
Russian Doll
"Well, you know, I have a real estate mystery/emergency."
Russian Doll
"I can't. I'm actually walking into a client meeting like in ten minutes."
Russian Doll
"For what? Uh..."
Russian Doll
"To sell some New York landmark to a Russian billionaire"
Russian Doll
"who needs a dorm room for a parrot?"
Russian Doll
"-[John] Okay, that's not entirely fair. -Ah, so you admit it's a little fair."
Russian Doll
"Hey, listen, if you get over here, I'll give you a blowjob."
Russian Doll
"If I come down there, you'll give me a blowjob?"
Russian Doll
"I would suck your cock anyway,"
Russian Doll
"but if you come down here, it'll give it a transactional nature"
Russian Doll
"that I think would be a fun twist."
Russian Doll
"[John] Okay. Which precinct?"
Russian Doll
"Uh, I'm not at a precinct, all right?"
Russian Doll
"I'm actually at a synagogue on, uh, 14th street."
Russian Doll
"-Bishulim Synagogue. -This better not be a hate crime."
Russian Doll
"[John] Thank you."
Russian Doll
"[Nadia] Shalom, shalom!"
Russian Doll
"Let's move it."
Russian Doll
"This is a place of worship. This means something to me."
Russian Doll
"I was raised Catholic."
Russian Doll
"Right, but you fuck like a Jew."
Russian Doll
"-That is not a bad thing. -Really?"
Russian Doll
"All right, I have this list of questions for the rabbi, okay?"
Russian Doll
"[slurping]"
Russian Doll
"[footsteps approaching]"
Russian Doll
"[gasps] Shifra."
Russian Doll
"Hey."
Russian Doll
"Look who it is. It's my husband, John."
Russian Doll
"I don't see a ring."
Russian Doll
"Look."
Russian Doll
"Between us, I'm 36, no kids, lots of fibroids."
Russian Doll
"Plus, I've got this thing just stuck in my hair."
Russian Doll
"I brought you a man."
Russian Doll
"Can you just... help me out a little?"
Russian Doll
"Just so you know, I'm not Jewish, but I am circumcised."
Russian Doll
"Well, 50-50."
Russian Doll
"[sighs]"
Russian Doll
"I have fibroids, too."
Russian Doll
"[knocking on door]"
Russian Doll
"Come in, come in. Sit down."
Russian Doll
"-Who are you? -John Reyes."
Russian Doll
"Lutz and Reyes Real Estate."
Russian Doll
"I just have a couple of questions about the old yeshiva on Tenth and A."
Russian Doll
"Oh. I went to school there."
Russian Doll
"My first memory's hiding under a desk."
Russian Doll
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