Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Bad Grandpa

"All right, Chuck. This is Shirley."
Bad Grandpa
"Hi, Chuck. I'm a local counselor,"
Bad Grandpa
"and I'm just here to help the two of you"
Bad Grandpa
"reach whatever goals you want to reach"
Bad Grandpa
"and just help the two of you talk together."
Bad Grandpa
"Okay."
Bad Grandpa
"So, uh, Kimmie"
Bad Grandpa
"is going to jail again, all right?"
Bad Grandpa
"Doesn't surprise me."
Bad Grandpa
"So I need you to come get Billy, like, from me."
Bad Grandpa
"Why are you shaking your head?"
Bad Grandpa
"'Cause this is real bad timing right now for me."
Bad Grandpa
"I'm having some problems with my business right now."
Bad Grandpa
"- Okay. - Oh, your business, huh?"
Bad Grandpa
"What business is that?"
Bad Grandpa
"I sell computers."
Bad Grandpa
"Sell... He couldn't sell pussy on a troop train."
Bad Grandpa
"Oh, that's a disgusting thing to say."
Bad Grandpa
"Okay, but that doesn't help. That doesn't help."
Bad Grandpa
"You're right. You're right."
Bad Grandpa
"I'm sorry for insulting you."
Bad Grandpa
"Are you serious?"
Bad Grandpa
"This is a disaster."
Bad Grandpa
"All right, Chuck."
Bad Grandpa
"If you can't come to Lincoln,"
Bad Grandpa
"then I'll just bring him to you in North Carolina."
Bad Grandpa
"No. 'Cause I don't have money to take care of a kid."
Bad Grandpa
"My cousin, he just had to take his baby girl,"
Bad Grandpa
"and the state's paying him $600 a month for free."
Bad Grandpa
"Are you sure you want him to go to him?"
Bad Grandpa
"- He's getting 600 bucks? - A month."
Bad Grandpa
"Wait, what are they saying?"
Bad Grandpa
"She's saying possibly he could get money for keeping him."
Bad Grandpa
"I think I can work something out."
Bad Grandpa
"I think that if Irving was to"
Bad Grandpa
"bring him here to Raleigh, I could take the kid."
Bad Grandpa
"And then if it didn't work out..."
Bad Grandpa
"600 bucks a month will make it work for me."
Bad Grandpa
"So... And that isn't guaranteed,"
Bad Grandpa
"what she just said. It's something"
Bad Grandpa
"- you would have to investigate. - No, no, it's guaranteed."
Bad Grandpa
"She's always right."
Bad Grandpa
"It's a done deal, man. Drop him off."
Bad Grandpa
"All right, 2:00 on Sunday."
Bad Grandpa
"2:00 p.m. Sunday."
Bad Grandpa
"Great, man. Great. Great."
Bad Grandpa
"There goes like half my inventory."
Bad Grandpa
"What a wonderful business you have."
Bad Grandpa
"Okay. Chuck, what's your last name?"
Bad Grandpa
"Muskie."
Bad Grandpa
"- M... Okay. - M-U-S-K-I-E."
Bad Grandpa
"D-O-U-C-H-E is how you spell it."
Bad Grandpa
"Yeah. That's right. F-A-G-O-T is your last name."
Bad Grandpa
"Your son's right here, if you don't mind."
Bad Grandpa
"Bye, A-S-S-O-L-E."
Bad Grandpa
"Shitbird, dummy butt."
Bad Grandpa
"Let's just... Let's just walk away."
Bad Grandpa
"Suck it."
Bad Grandpa
""Suck it," that's nice."
Bad Grandpa
"Suck a bowl of dicks."
Bad Grandpa
"Bye, Dad."
Bad Grandpa
"Bye, Billy!"
Bad Grandpa
"Bye."
Bad Grandpa
"Hey, Billy, let me show you what you're going to do"
Bad Grandpa
"if somebody comes at you with a knife."
Bad Grandpa
"Come here."
Bad Grandpa
"Have any of those baskets down here that you have outside?"
Bad Grandpa
"I don't think so."
Bad Grandpa
"You don't think so. You don't know?"
Bad Grandpa
"Don't interrupt, grandpa, I'm busy."
Bad Grandpa
"So if a guy comes at you with a knife..."
Bad Grandpa
"You don't care about a sale?"
Bad Grandpa
"Yeah, I care about a sale."
Bad Grandpa
"But I'm trying to teach my grandson about knife fights."
Bad Grandpa
"And you keep yapping. Jesus."
Bad Grandpa
"- Good attitude to have. - Yeah, keep walking, gramps."
Bad Grandpa
"Okay, now, if a guy comes at you in a knife fight."
Bad Grandpa
"Like, come at me, I'll show you what you do."
Bad Grandpa
"That's all you gotta do."
Bad Grandpa
"You take it and you stick it right in their thigh."
Bad Grandpa
"And then they can't run after you."
Bad Grandpa
"You young ladies in the market for a nice bed?"
Bad Grandpa
"- No. - Seventy-five dollars."
Bad Grandpa
"What's special about it?"
Bad Grandpa
"It's got that special vibrating feature."
Bad Grandpa
"You know what I'm saying?"
Bad Grandpa
"You want to see how it works?"
Bad Grandpa
"No, thanks, honey."
Bad Grandpa
"My wife and I only had it two weeks before she went in the hospital."
Bad Grandpa
"Oh, I'm so sorry."
Bad Grandpa
"That's okay, that's okay. It's barely been used."
Bad Grandpa
"- Yeah. - And she passed away."
Bad Grandpa
"- Oh, dear. That's very sad. - Yeah."
Bad Grandpa
"Well, it's not so sad, she was kind of a bitch, but..."
Bad Grandpa
"Jeez!"
Bad Grandpa
"My goodness!"
Bad Grandpa
"Well, gotta call a spade a spade."
Bad Grandpa
"Well, there goes the troublemaker."
Bad Grandpa
"Well, what kind of attitude is that?"
Bad Grandpa
"- Same type you have. - Same kind of 'tude you got."
Bad Grandpa
"- Same type you have. - Wow."
Bad Grandpa
"Mr. and Mrs. Happy."
Bad Grandpa
"How much is this?"
Bad Grandpa
"Is there a price tag on it?"
Bad Grandpa
"I don't... There's a..."
Bad Grandpa
"That's one of my wife's favorite lamps."
Bad Grandpa
"- It's very pretty. - Yes."
Bad Grandpa
"She died of, uh..."
Bad Grandpa
"Vagitosis."
Bad Grandpa
"It's kind of like bad breath, but the vagina."
Bad Grandpa
"It wasn't the main cause, but..."
Bad Grandpa
"- It didn't help. - Yeah."
Bad Grandpa
"That's..."
Bad Grandpa
"Ma'am, will you buy that please?"
Bad Grandpa
"No, thank you. I don't need it, I have one."
Bad Grandpa
"Ma'am, how do you explain what a cockblock is to an eight-year-old?"
Bad Grandpa
"Can you help me explain that? 'Cause that's what's sitting there is a little cockblock."
Bad Grandpa
"No, he's not. Don't listen to her."
Bad Grandpa
"He's a good boy."
Bad Grandpa
"If you like him so damn much, you take him."
Bad Grandpa
Show more clips