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Clips from The Jeffersons - Uncle Bertram (S02E02)

"to throw that water on the fire,"
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"it froze solid and it came out in one chunk"
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"and landed on my great toe."
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"I never had such pain in my life."
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"Oh, my, what did you do?"
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"I hoped around on one foot for a while,"
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"and I was screaming so loud"
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"I didn't notice where I was going."
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"And I hopped right off the roof."
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"I fell 15 floors."
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"Good heavens! What happened?"
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"I lost both my legs."
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"Oh, you!"
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"You can't believe everything I say."
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"Well, then how am I going to know"
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"when you are telling the truth?"
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"There's only one way."
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"Whenever I say what's in my heart,"
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"my eyes puddle up."
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"Like right now."
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"Believe this. I like you."
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"Well, how about some more tea?"
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"I'd love it."
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"Okay, Ralph, now push this end."
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"Yes, sir. This end, sir. Don't worry sir,"
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"we got it into the elevator,"
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"and we can get it out of the elevator."
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"Hold it, hold it, Ralph, it ain't coming that way."
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"Besides, you'll scratch it."
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"Why worry about that? You said yourself"
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"it's the scratches that makes it valuable."
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"Not the new scratches, the old scratches."
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"I got an idea, Ralph. You get behind, I'll get in front."
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"Yes, sir."
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"Ready, Ralph? Ready, sir."
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"Okay, when I say "now," shove it."
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"Sir?"
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"Just get behind there and push! Now!"
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"I think it's beginning to move, sir."
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"Be careful!"
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"This armoire cost me 1100 bucks."
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"If it falls and breaks, you can forget your tip."
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"Don't worry, sir, if it does fall,"
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"I'll throw my body between it and the floor."
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"Now it's moving! Now it's moving!"
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"Now it's really stuck."
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"Something's wrong with the elevator."
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"I just ran up all 12 flights."
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"Luckily, I'm in tiptop condition."
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"All that morning jogging really pays off."
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"Otherwise, I never could have done it"
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"with such ease."
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"Why are you all standing out here?"
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"George is redecorating the elevator."
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"Oh, I say!"
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"What a magnificent armoire."
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"Yeah, but it's stuck in the elevator."
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"So it is. So it is."
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"But I can readily see what the problem is."
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"You can?"
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"Certainly, just one little effort in the right direction"
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"should do the trick."
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"There. See what I mean?"
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"Yeah, but we were trying to get it out of the elevator."
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"Aha."
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"That's another problem entirely."
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"However, I think... Hey!"
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"Well, if there's nothing else, sir."
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"I better be getting back to my post."
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"Hold it! Sir?"
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"I'm holding you responsible for that armoire."
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"I want it out of that elevator and in my apartment."
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"But, sir, if the two of us couldn't handle it,"
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"how can you expect me..."
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"No problem, sir, I'll carry it up the stairs if I have to."
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"That's what I call"
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"throwing good money after bad."
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"♪ Shine on Shine on harvest moon ♪"
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"How come you left the radio on in the kitchen?"
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"We don't have a radio in the kitchen."
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"What?"
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"♪ June or July ♪"
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"♪ Springtime ain't No time to love... ♪"
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"What the hell's going on in here?"
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"Oh, George, we're having a nice cup of tea and we're having"
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"such a wonderful time. Aren't we, Bertram?"
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"You can bet your BVD's, kiddo!"
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"Okay, the party's over. Get your hat. Bye. Out."
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"Oh, George, leave them alone. They're just having fun."
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"It ain't fun trying to get my mother drunk!"
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"Oh, yes, it is, George."
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"Now, Mama, you ought to know better than that."
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"George, your mother has a right to pick her own friends."
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"You keep out of this, Louise. I can talk for myself."
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"George, I got a right to pick my own friends."
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"And right now my friend and I are going out for a bite to eat."
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"Mama, no, you should hang around with this guy."
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"What do you see in him anyhow?"
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"We have a lot in common."
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"Like what?"
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"We are both old."
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"Old."
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"Let's go, toots!"
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"Weezy, tell me, where did I go wrong with Mama?"
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"Look at it this way, George. You're not losing a mother."
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"You're gaining an antique."
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"ANNOUNCER: The Jeffersons was recorded on tape"
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"in front of a studio audience."
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