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Clips from The Jeffersons - Uncle Bertram (S02E02)

"Is that you Uncle Bertram?"
The Jeffersons
"Well, it ain't the Avon lady."
The Jeffersons
"Good morning."
The Jeffersons
"What's that you're eating? Cottage cheese?"
The Jeffersons
"Yes, would you like some?"
The Jeffersons
"No, I hate cottage cheese."
The Jeffersons
"It's supposed to be good for you."
The Jeffersons
"What's wrong with things that are good for you?"
The Jeffersons
"Everything. It's only things that are bad for you"
The Jeffersons
"that give you any pleasure."
The Jeffersons
"Where'd you rush off to this morning?"
The Jeffersons
"Shopping. I ordered that carpeting for the terrace."
The Jeffersons
"Why don't you have a cup of coffee with us?"
The Jeffersons
"Oh, I could use it."
The Jeffersons
"It's colder outside than an old maid's bed."
The Jeffersons
"Here, I'll get it."
The Jeffersons
"Why don't you sit down right here?"
The Jeffersons
"Come to think of it,"
The Jeffersons
"it was pretty cold in that elevator too."
The Jeffersons
"I met a sassy young lady on the way up."
The Jeffersons
"A real looker."
The Jeffersons
"She almost gave me the eye."
The Jeffersons
"She almost gave you the eye?"
The Jeffersons
"Yeah, with her fist."
The Jeffersons
"Just because I called her toots."
The Jeffersons
"Did you have any breakfast before you went out?"
The Jeffersons
"I never touch it."
The Jeffersons
"If I did I'd start looking like my nephew here."
The Jeffersons
"What do you mean?"
The Jeffersons
"The old beach ball."
The Jeffersons
"You really must be socking it away."
The Jeffersons
"You look as though you gained 10 pounds"
The Jeffersons
"just since I've been here."
The Jeffersons
"Don't say that."
The Jeffersons
"Some people are just born to be fat and that's that."
The Jeffersons
"There's nothing you can do about it. It's all in the genes."
The Jeffersons
"In Tom's case, it's hanging over his jeans."
The Jeffersons
"Don't listen to him."
The Jeffersons
"Oh, it's all right, Jenny, I'm not discouraged."
The Jeffersons
"When I make my mind up about something, that's it."
The Jeffersons
"And I just made up my mind. He's right."
The Jeffersons
"It's in the genes. Why fight it? Thanks, Uncle Bertram."
The Jeffersons
"Yes. Thanks a lot."
The Jeffersons
"Oh, I almost forgot."
The Jeffersons
"I bought you something for the house."
The Jeffersons
"You didn't have to do that."
The Jeffersons
"You should have told me that before I bought it."
The Jeffersons
"What is it?"
The Jeffersons
"Well, I decided to fall back"
The Jeffersons
"on my 40 years as a fireman."
The Jeffersons
"And I got you: Ta-da!"
The Jeffersons
"Oh, a fire extinguisher."
The Jeffersons
"Uncle Bertram, I've been meaning to ask you,"
The Jeffersons
"what made you decide to be a fireman?"
The Jeffersons
"Well, all the other men in my family"
The Jeffersons
"were lawyers and politicians,"
The Jeffersons
"so I decided, one of us ought to do something worthwhile."
The Jeffersons
"Oh, don't believe him, he just liked to put out fires."
The Jeffersons
"Our family thinks I'm the strangest corkscrew"
The Jeffersons
"that ever lived."
The Jeffersons
"Not true, Uncle Bertram."
The Jeffersons
"It's Helen's family that thinks"
The Jeffersons
"you're the strangest corkscrew that ever lived."
The Jeffersons
"Now, Tom. We love you, Uncle Bertram."
The Jeffersons
"You are the only one from either side of the family"
The Jeffersons
"who never gave us any static when we got married."
The Jeffersons
"The Willis family may have been solid white,"
The Jeffersons
"but we never had as much heart and soul"
The Jeffersons
"in our whole body than you've got in that little thing there."
The Jeffersons
"I'll second that."
The Jeffersons
"Uncle Bertram, that's beautiful."
The Jeffersons
"And besides, you learn when you're a firemen"
The Jeffersons
"all kinds of guys can go into that smoke,"
The Jeffersons
"but we're all the same color when we come out."
The Jeffersons
"Hurry up, Weezy. We'll miss the auction"
The Jeffersons
"if you go any slower."
The Jeffersons
"Don't tempt me, George."
The Jeffersons
"[DOORBELL RINGING]"
The Jeffersons
"Hey, that's for me."
The Jeffersons
"Where you going?"
The Jeffersons
"Jenny's picking me up. We're going to a rock concert."
The Jeffersons
"Ain't you got no better way to spend your time?"
The Jeffersons
"Hey, you're right, Pop."
The Jeffersons
"Maybe we can run away and get married."
The Jeffersons
"Lionel, hi, love."
The Jeffersons
"Lionel, Mr. Jefferson,"
The Jeffersons
"I'd like you to meet my great-uncle Bertram."
The Jeffersons
"Hi. Hi."
The Jeffersons
"That honky... That guy's not your great-uncle."
The Jeffersons
"He's your father's."
The Jeffersons
"Pop!"
The Jeffersons
"Forget it, I like a fella that speaks his mind."
The Jeffersons
"In his case, it won't take long."
The Jeffersons
"That's right. Because you're just visitor here."
The Jeffersons
"And I probably won't never see you again. Bye."
The Jeffersons
"You'll be seeing each other again, I'm sure."
The Jeffersons
"You see, Uncle Bertram's retired"
The Jeffersons
"and he's staying with us for a while."
The Jeffersons
"Well, that's your problem."
The Jeffersons
"Oh, don't worry about Mr. Jefferson,"
The Jeffersons
"he's always this way when he's in a good mood."
The Jeffersons
"He may be right."
The Jeffersons
"A lot of us old guys do have problems with their families."
The Jeffersons
"No, not you. I mean, hey, you're a handy man"
The Jeffersons
"to have around to have around the house and you know it."
The Jeffersons
"Uncle Bertram is carpeting our terrace."
The Jeffersons
"Hey, that's pretty classy!"
The Jeffersons
"Indoor/outdoor carpeting on the terrace!"
The Jeffersons
"Mm. I bet he's charging a bundle for it too."
The Jeffersons
"No, it's a hobby."
The Jeffersons
"I'm charging zip."
The Jeffersons
"I get a kick out of doing something with my hands."
The Jeffersons
"I could do it for you, too, if you like sonny."
The Jeffersons
"Sonny?"
The Jeffersons
"All you have to pay for is the carpet."
The Jeffersons
"Hey, that's kind of nice,"
The Jeffersons
"a man like you"
The Jeffersons
"still keeping active, that ain't a bad idea."
The Jeffersons
"Come on, Jenny. See you, Uncle Bertram."
The Jeffersons
"See you."
The Jeffersons
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