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Clips from Big Mouth (2017) - Thanksgiving (S05E05)

"and my first project was to get rid of the school's offensive mascot."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Okay. Little Takiyah Thompson."
Big Mouth (2017)
"But nobody listened to my 20-point plan--"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Twenty points? God damn!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Missy! Baby boo! Why are you such a dork?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, I'm not a dork. I don't think."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I'm just smart and passionate and earnest and committed."
Big Mouth (2017)
"She really is her daddy's daughter."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-She a little baby Steve Urkel. -[both laugh]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, shit, your cool cousins also think you're a dork."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Why do you say "also"? Who else does?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Well, I do, and everyone at school."
Big Mouth (2017)
"That's probably why they didn't want to hear your plan,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"because nobody wants to listen to a dork."
Big Mouth (2017)
"People listened to Obama. Barack Obama?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Obama's not a dork!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"He ripped lines of coke off the Harvard Law Review."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, yeah? Well, did Obama ever do this? [inhales]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Yes! All the time! -Shit!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-[coughs] -No! Why the fuck would you do that?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Because I'm not a dork!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"I'm the first Black president of these United States."
Big Mouth (2017)
"And my wife is even cooler than me! [chuckles]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Quinta, we are so fucked, man. -Oh, God!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"She gonna be even weirder now that she high."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-[hip hop music plays] -♪ Missy, go ahead, let it slap ♪"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Ai-ida! I must be dazed and confused"
Big Mouth (2017)
"because I'm pretty sure I just saw Santa doing parkour!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Ho! Ho!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Ho!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Ho! [grunts]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Merry Thanksgiving!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Ho, ho, ho, ho! [grunts]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"So, Val, when your family abandoned Jay over spring break and I called your mom,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"was it you who farted into the phone?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Mom! -It's okay, I'm a Bilzerian."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I was raised by a deeply flawed patriarch, which is why it's so lovely to be here."
Big Mouth (2017)
"There's a real warmth in this home."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, yeah, like the warmth of the cum on the cracker you tried to make me eat?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"This guy almost ruined Triscuits for me!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"You jizzed on our couch a week ago!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Okay, that's my cue. Back to the kitchen."
Big Mouth (2017)
"These guys are right."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I've done things in my past that I'm not proud of,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"but I'm different with Leah."
Big Mouth (2017)
"She's really very special."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, well, yes. She is very special."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Aww, you're special, too, babe."
Big Mouth (2017)
"This is so unfair!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"A piece of shit like Val Bilzerian gets to find love?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"And you, a certified snack, is rejected by Jessi?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"This is a fucking joke."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Thanksgiving is about bringing people together!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, my God, I love your hat."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I made it at school. It's made of paper."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Are you very old or very young?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Well, time is a flatbread pizza, so you do you, baby."
Big Mouth (2017)
"You okay, babe?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"You've hardly touched your mini spanakopitas."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Yeah, I'm just not super hungry right now."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Ooh! Hard to have an appetite when you're about to get dumped!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-[all laugh] -Fuckin' chump."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Greg, do you remember our first Thanksgiving as a family?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, yeah!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Jellybean, we'd just had you,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"and your mother was exhausted, so I had to be hunter and gatherer."
Big Mouth (2017)
"He went to Quiznos."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-[both laugh] -Okay, Your Honor,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"but in my defense, you said you wanted a hot meal."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, man, my uncle had a heart attack in a Quiznos."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, that's a bummer, babe."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Read the room, Caitlin. Damn!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Seriously, dude, love is being rekindled."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Rekindled like a mofo!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"[tapping] Excuse me."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Everyone, all this talk of family makes me feel like"
Big Mouth (2017)
"this is the perfect time to share a big announcement with you, Jellybean."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Really, Greg? Now?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, my God, is he about to dump Caitlin for my mom on Thanksgiving?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Hey, Cheese Girl, have fun finding discount dick on Black Friday!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Caitlin and I… -Holy shit!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"…are baking a brie in her tummy! [chuckles]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Wait, what? -What?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"We are having a baby!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-No! -Oh, shit."
Big Mouth (2017)
"We're starting a family!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"You already have a family, asshole!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"And we don't want a damn cheese baby!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"I'm lactose intolerant!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Um, can I please be excused?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Oh, Jessi-- -Jellybean, are you okay?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I just, um, need to get out of here right now. [cries]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Hey! Vidal Sassoon! What do you think of my turkey? It's good, right?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, it's very good, Mr. Glouberman."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Diane! What do you think of my turkey? Doesn't it make you hate your husband?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"No, but it is very moist, Marty. What's your secret?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Anger! -Of course."
Big Mouth (2017)
"You've got to insult it!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"That's what keeps the juices in."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I learned that trick from my father, and he learned it from his father."
Big Mouth (2017)
"That's the Glouberman way."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I remember every Thanksgiving, my dad standing over that worthless bird."
Big Mouth (2017)
"You stupid turkey."
Big Mouth (2017)
"My family is gonna eat you and then shit you out because you are nothing!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"And before him was my Zaide Shlomo."
Big Mouth (2017)
"You see, in the Depression, all he had was a street pigeon,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"but he would berate it until it tasted like a turkey!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"You stupid pigeon, you're a repulsive bird."
Big Mouth (2017)
"You're a rat with wings, that's all you are."
Big Mouth (2017)
"And who can forget my great Zaide Chaim in the shtetl?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"There was no fowl of any sort!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"You shmegegge cabbage!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"God wouldn't even grant you the honor of being a lettuce!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"[claps]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Ooph, you spin quite a yarn, Father. [clears throat]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"But tonight, I won't be eating your trunk turkey."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, God."
Big Mouth (2017)
"What do you mean, you're not eating my turkey?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"It shall not pass my lips!"
Big Mouth (2017)
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