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Clips from Cheers - Teacher's Pet (S03E03)

80% OF OUR GRADES.

"80% OF OUR GRADES."

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COACH, WHAT HAVE I BEEN TELLING YOU ALL SEMESTER LONG?

"COACH, WHAT HAVE I BEEN TELLING YOU ALL SEMESTER LONG?"

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I KNOW. I KNOW.

"I KNOW. I KNOW."

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STUDYING IS FOR SAPS. "STUDYING IS FOR SAPS."

"STUDYING IS FOR SAPS. "STUDYING IS FOR SAPS.""

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THAT'S RIGHT. I'LL BE IN MY OFFICE.

"THAT'S RIGHT. I'LL BE IN MY OFFICE."

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WHAT WAS THE TEST ABOUT, SAM?

"WHAT WAS THE TEST ABOUT, SAM?"

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I DON'T KNOW. I FORGET.

"I DON'T KNOW. I FORGET."

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WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. YOU GOT AN "A" ON THIS TEST

"WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. YOU GOT AN "A" ON THIS TEST"

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AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT COVERED?

"AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT COVERED?"

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AFTER A QUIZ, I LIKE TO EMPTY OUT MY HEAD.

"AFTER A QUIZ, I LIKE TO EMPTY OUT MY HEAD."

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HOW? BY BLOWING YOUR NOSE?

"HOW? BY BLOWING YOUR NOSE?"

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I GOT AN "A", DIDN'T I?

"I GOT AN "A", DIDN'T I?"

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OH, COACH, I AM SO IMPRESSED WITH YOU.

"OH, COACH, I AM SO IMPRESSED WITH YOU."

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OH, THANK YOU, DIANE.

"OH, THANK YOU, DIANE."

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SAM DIDN'T SEEM TO RETAIN MUCH FROM THE TEST.

"SAM DIDN'T SEEM TO RETAIN MUCH FROM THE TEST."

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YEAH, BUT HE DOES JUST GREAT.

"YEAH, BUT HE DOES JUST GREAT."

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I NEVER REALIZED WHAT A BRAIN HE IS.

"I NEVER REALIZED WHAT A BRAIN HE IS."

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I STUDY ALL THE TIME.

"I STUDY ALL THE TIME."

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HE SLEEPS IN THE CLASSROOM.

"HE SLEEPS IN THE CLASSROOM."

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HE NEVER TAKES A NOTE.

"HE NEVER TAKES A NOTE."

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AND STILL HE GETS THE GREAT GRADES.

"AND STILL HE GETS THE GREAT GRADES."

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NO WONDER HE'S MISS PURDY'S FAVORITE.

"NO WONDER HE'S MISS PURDY'S FAVORITE."

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MISS PURDY?

"MISS PURDY?"

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YEAH. OUR BEAUTIFUL SCHOOLTEACHER.

"YEAH. OUR BEAUTIFUL SCHOOLTEACHER."

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AND SAM IS HER FAVORITE?

"AND SAM IS HER FAVORITE?"

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I CAN'T SAY THAT,

"I CAN'T SAY THAT,"

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BUT SAM'S THE ONLY ONE I EVER SAW HER KISS.

"BUT SAM'S THE ONLY ONE I EVER SAW HER KISS."

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THEY KISS?

"THEY KISS?"

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YEAH. I SAW THEM SMOOCHING NEAR THE PARKING LOT.

"YEAH. I SAW THEM SMOOCHING NEAR THE PARKING LOT."

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I WAS PUTTING UP A NOTICE

"I WAS PUTTING UP A NOTICE"

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THERE ON THE BULLETIN BOARD.

"THERE ON THE BULLETIN BOARD."

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WITH PROBING TONGUES?

"WITH PROBING TONGUES?"

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NO, DIANE,

"NO, DIANE,"

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WITH A THUMBTACK AND MY THUMB.

"WITH A THUMBTACK AND MY THUMB."

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I CAN'T BELIEVE HE SUNK TO THESE DEPTHS.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HE SUNK TO THESE DEPTHS."

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I CURSE THE DAY I EVER WALKED INTO THIS BAR.

"I CURSE THE DAY I EVER WALKED INTO THIS BAR."

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THEN IT'S UNANIMOUS!

"THEN IT'S UNANIMOUS!"

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SAM MALONE!

"SAM MALONE!"

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THIS IS ABSOLUTELY...

"THIS IS ABSOLUTELY..."

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THE WORST THING I'VE EVER DONE.

"THE WORST THING I'VE EVER DONE."

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THE WORST THING YOU'VE...

"THE WORST THING YOU'VE..."

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WAIT A MINUTE.

"WAIT A MINUTE."

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YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY.

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY."

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I JUST FOUND OUT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN...

"I JUST FOUND OUT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN..."

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SLEEPING WITH MY TEACHER.

"SLEEPING WITH MY TEACHER."

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THAT'S RIGHT.

"THAT'S RIGHT."

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AND THAT'S NOT THE WORST PART OF IT.

"AND THAT'S NOT THE WORST PART OF IT."

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SHE ALSO HAS BEEN GIVING YOU...

"SHE ALSO HAS BEEN GIVING YOU..."

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GOOD MARKS BECAUSE OF IT.

"GOOD MARKS BECAUSE OF IT."

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YES.

"YES."

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ARE YOU ADMITTING THAT YOU'RE DOING THIS

"ARE YOU ADMITTING THAT YOU'RE DOING THIS"

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AND THAT YOU KNOW IT'S WRONG?

"AND THAT YOU KNOW IT'S WRONG?"

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YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.

"YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT."

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OH, YEAH?

"OH, YEAH?"

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WELL...STOP SLOUCHING!

"WELL...STOP SLOUCHING!"

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LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOUR POSTURE.

"LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOUR POSTURE."

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WHAT?

"WHAT?"

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I NEEDED SOMETHING.

"I NEEDED SOMETHING."

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HEY, I...

"HEY, I..."

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THE WHOLE THING STARTED SO INNOCENTLY.

"THE WHOLE THING STARTED SO INNOCENTLY."

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I BEGAN DATING HER BECAUSE SHE WAS CUTE,

"I BEGAN DATING HER BECAUSE SHE WAS CUTE,"

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AND BECAUSE WE HIT IT OFF.

"AND BECAUSE WE HIT IT OFF."

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I HAD NO IDEA THAT I WAS GONNA GET BETTER MARKS BECAUSE OF IT.

"I HAD NO IDEA THAT I WAS GONNA GET BETTER MARKS BECAUSE OF IT."

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I JUST WAS AFTER SOME MEANINGLESS SEX

"I JUST WAS AFTER SOME MEANINGLESS SEX"

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AND IT'S TURNED INTO SOMETHING SLEAZY.

"AND IT'S TURNED INTO SOMETHING SLEAZY."

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WELL, YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING--

"WELL, YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING--"

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THE BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE AND SCUM.

"THE BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE AND SCUM."

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YEAH, BOY, AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH?

"YEAH, BOY, AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH?"

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I DIDN'T REALIZE ANYTHING WAS WRONG

"I DIDN'T REALIZE ANYTHING WAS WRONG"

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UNTIL I STARTED GETTING THESE QUIZZES BACK.

"UNTIL I STARTED GETTING THESE QUIZZES BACK."

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INSTEAD OF MARKING OFF WRONG ANSWERS,

"INSTEAD OF MARKING OFF WRONG ANSWERS,"

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SHE'D SAY, "CLOSE ENOUGH. A-PLUS."

"SHE'D SAY, "CLOSE ENOUGH. A-PLUS.""

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IT'S A SAD COMMENTARY ON OUR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM

"IT'S A SAD COMMENTARY ON OUR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM"

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WHEN A HARLOT LIKE THIS

"WHEN A HARLOT LIKE THIS"

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IS ALLOWED IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS.

"IS ALLOWED IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS."

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IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,

"IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,"

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WHEN WE MET, YOU WERE DATING YOUR PROFESSOR.

"WHEN WE MET, YOU WERE DATING YOUR PROFESSOR."

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FOR YOUR INFORMATION,

"FOR YOUR INFORMATION,"

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I WAS A LEGITIMATE "A" STUDENT

"I WAS A LEGITIMATE "A" STUDENT"

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IN THE CLASSROOM.

"IN THE CLASSROOM."

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I NEVER GOT GOOD GRADES IN THE SACK.

"I NEVER GOT GOOD GRADES IN THE SACK."

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OH, DON'T WORRY. I ALWAYS GAVE YOU AN "E" FOR EFFORT, DIDN'T I?

"OH, DON'T WORRY. I ALWAYS GAVE YOU AN "E" FOR EFFORT, DIDN'T I?"

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SAM, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.

"SAM, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO."

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NOW, I KNOW YOU WON'T LIKE IT, BUT YOU HAVE TO...

"NOW, I KNOW YOU WON'T LIKE IT, BUT YOU HAVE TO..."

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CALL MISS PURDY AND TELL HER I WANT AN HONEST GRADE.

"CALL MISS PURDY AND TELL HER I WANT AN HONEST GRADE."

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SIT UP STRAIGHT!

"SIT UP STRAIGHT!"

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I CAN'T DO THAT, DIANE.

"I CAN'T DO THAT, DIANE."

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I'M NOT PREPARED TO TAKE THE EXAM.

"I'M NOT PREPARED TO TAKE THE EXAM."

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WELL, COACH WILL HELP YOU.

"WELL, COACH WILL HELP YOU."

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OH, SAM... YOU STARTED OUT

"OH, SAM... YOU STARTED OUT"

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WITH SUCH NOBLE INTENTIONS.

"WITH SUCH NOBLE INTENTIONS."

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I HATE TO SEE YOU END UP LIKE THIS.

"I HATE TO SEE YOU END UP LIKE THIS."

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YEAH. I KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT.

"YEAH. I KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT."

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RIGHT AFTER I TAKE THE EXAM,

"RIGHT AFTER I TAKE THE EXAM,"

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THEN I'LL CALL HER.

"THEN I'LL CALL HER."

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COME ON. I GOT...

"COME ON. I GOT..."

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MAYBE WITH COACH'S HELP, I CAN GET BY.

"MAYBE WITH COACH'S HELP, I CAN GET BY."

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HELLO, UH...MISS PURDY?

"HELLO, UH...MISS PURDY?"

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IT'S LITTLE SAMMY MALONE FROM THE THIRD ROW.

"IT'S LITTLE SAMMY MALONE FROM THE THIRD ROW."

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YEAH, UH...

"YEAH, UH..."

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LISTEN, ALANA, UM...

"LISTEN, ALANA, UM..."

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ABOUT SCHOOL, UM...

"ABOUT SCHOOL, UM..."

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I HAD THIS CRAZY THOUGHT.

"I HAD THIS CRAZY THOUGHT."

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I'M EVEN EMBARRASSED TO MENTION IT.

"I'M EVEN EMBARRASSED TO MENTION IT."

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BUT DO YOU THINK THAT MAYBE OUR RELATIONSHIP

"BUT DO YOU THINK THAT MAYBE OUR RELATIONSHIP"

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IS IN ANY WAY AFFECTING THE MARKS I'VE BEEN GETTING?

"IS IN ANY WAY AFFECTING THE MARKS I'VE BEEN GETTING?"

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YOU KNOW, LIKE MAKING YOU UNCONSCIOUSLY CHANGE SOME...

"YOU KNOW, LIKE MAKING YOU UNCONSCIOUSLY CHANGE SOME..."

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WHAT?

"WHAT?"

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YOU ARE?

"YOU ARE?"

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WELL, THAT'S NICE, BUT WHAT...

"WELL, THAT'S NICE, BUT WHAT..."

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ME?

"ME?"

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UH...YEAH, I'M NAKED, TOO.

"UH...YEAH, I'M NAKED, TOO."

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SOUNDS LIKE WE'RE READY FOR THE CLASS PHOTO.

"SOUNDS LIKE WE'RE READY FOR THE CLASS PHOTO."

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NO, THERE'S NO ONE HERE.

"NO, THERE'S NO ONE HERE."

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IT WAS AN INSECT, BUT I KILLED IT.

"IT WAS AN INSECT, BUT I KILLED IT."

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UH...LISTEN,

"UH...LISTEN,"

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I'M SERIOUS ABOUT THIS!

"I'M SERIOUS ABOUT THIS!"

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I WOULD LIKE MY GRADE TO BE BASED

"I WOULD LIKE MY GRADE TO BE BASED"

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ON MY KNOWLEDGE OF GEOGRAPHY.

"ON MY KNOWLEDGE OF GEOGRAPHY."

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NO, I MEAN IT.

"NO, I MEAN IT."

Cheers

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