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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - The Cloak of Duplication (S03E03)

"It's more of a courtesy call."
What We Do in the Shadows
"I get to knock."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Yo."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Finally, virgins..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"‐Wes Blankenship? ‐Yes."
What We Do in the Shadows
"‐Greetings, I am Nandor. ‐You have ignored all attempts at communication."
What We Do in the Shadows
"‐This is Nadja, ‐Bend the knee or I will"
What We Do in the Shadows
"‐and he is Colin Robinson. ‐unleash Colin Robinson."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Wassup?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"We are your new Vampiric Council."
What We Do in the Shadows
"We have not heard from you in a while,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"so we thought we'd pop by and see if all is well."
What We Do in the Shadows
"All right, just come on in. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!"
What We Do in the Shadows
"I always wanted to do this:"
What We Do in the Shadows
"My name is Wes Blankenship"
What We Do in the Shadows
"and welcome to my crib!"
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"Let's go, baby!"
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"Hope you don't mind if I take notes in here."
What We Do in the Shadows
"No, no. You are not allowed here."
What We Do in the Shadows
"She's angry, as women so often are."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Please, good lady."
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"I know I came here earlier, but whatever I said‐‐"
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"and I don't remember‐‐ I wasn't myself."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Well, you started by calling me dipshit, so..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Proof of naught but mine own delirium."
What We Do in the Shadows
"You, my darling, have the high, firm ass"
What We Do in the Shadows
"‐of an Irish Derby winner. ‐Okay, um..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Okay, I've gone a little bit too fast too soon,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"but hear me out."
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"Truth is, I came here to pitch woo"
What We Do in the Shadows
"but was so nervous,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"I took a calming physic to settle my nerves."
What We Do in the Shadows
"That drug turned me into a fucking monster."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Shit, was it Klonopin?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Indeed. That one."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Yeah, you know, I can't take it anymore myself."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Oh. We are very much alike, then."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Could I sing you something?"
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"Oh, God, uh, I‐I guess."
What We Do in the Shadows
"♪ I see your picture ♪"
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"♪ Name in lights above it ♪"
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"♪ This is your big debut ♪"
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"♪ A dream come true ♪"
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"♪ And when you smile for the camera ♪"
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"♪ I know they're going to love it. ♪"
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"‐Meg. ‐Uh... Wow."
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"That's very embarrassing."
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"‐You know, I'm‐I'm at work, so... ‐Say no more."
What We Do in the Shadows
"May I show you something?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"I feel like you're going to anyway."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Some of the most licentious and transgressive pornography"
What We Do in the Shadows
"I've ever clapped eyes on."
What We Do in the Shadows
"‐Chris! ‐Fuck."
What We Do in the Shadows
"You will remember nothing."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Unhand me, you bloody peasant."
What We Do in the Shadows
"How does Nandor get this fucking ape body to work?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Okay."
What We Do in the Shadows
"You're officially banned, you pervert."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Just fuck off."
What We Do in the Shadows
"You fuck off, you bald prick."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Fucking swear at me."
What We Do in the Shadows
"So, look, the reason why you guys haven't heard from us is"
What We Do in the Shadows
"because, well, this clan,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"we rejects the authority of the Vampiric Council."
What We Do in the Shadows
"‐ ‐Uh, hey, slow down there, puck."
What We Do in the Shadows
"I have you at, "Welcome to my crib...""
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"So, we've set up our own governing body."
What We Do in the Shadows
"‐ ‐Yeah. We're called The Council Of Vampires."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Maybe you guys would like to join us."
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"There is only one Vampiric Council,"
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"and you will either bend the knee or face the consequences."
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"‐ Yes, that's..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Typical hierarchical mindset cope."
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"‐Don't you point at me! ‐Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Wes, you seem like a very reasonable vampire."
What We Do in the Shadows
"‐We are also reasonable vampires. ‐I'm not."
What We Do in the Shadows
"- ‐Let's talk about this. - ‐"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Uh, hold on. A‐Ash, can you, can you get that please?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Why do I have to do it? I count one, two..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"‐Because I'm talking to the old people. The elderly. ‐Yeah, okay."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Do I have "secretary" written on my forehead?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"They're gonna forget who they're talking to."
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"‐Okay, but I'm not getting it. ‐All right, fine."
What We Do in the Shadows
"I'll get it."
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"You guys, please excuse me for a sec."
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"‐Should I write down their bickering? ‐Write it all down."
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"We're taking notes. What are you doing?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"It is called diplomacy."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Licking their assholes, more like."
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"Oh, shit."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Mr. Robinson?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"Dave Lewis, energy vampire."
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"I'm‐I'm a huge fan."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Well, thank you, a fellow borer."
What We Do in the Shadows
"‐Do you bore a lot? ‐All the time."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Say hello to my little friend."
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"‐ Are you sure you have the right Colin Robinson?"
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"‐ ‐"
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"Holy shit."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Don't touch that book, Gizmo."
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"It's too much for your young cock."
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"Sorry. I know I'm not supposed to be in here."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Just watch yourself."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Otherwise, it'll be suicide by porno."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Is that the Cloak of Duplication?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"I thought we weren't supposed to touch that."
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"‐Who gives a shit? ‐Well, can I..."
What We Do in the Shadows
"can I touch it?"
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"Actually, if you want to do Nandor a favor,"
What We Do in the Shadows
"you could put that on, head down to Massive Fitness"
What We Do in the Shadows
"and get a date with a receptionist called Meg."
What We Do in the Shadows
"I tried my luck, but she's clearly not into guys."
What We Do in the Shadows
"I hypnotized her, so you'll start from a clean slate."
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"Oh, wow. Wow."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Laszlo, look."
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"I look just like Nandor."
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"Yeah, uncanny. Bugger off."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Ah, this is awesome."
What We Do in the Shadows
"I can fly."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Bat! I‐I can't fly."
What We Do in the Shadows
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