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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Ava vs. Superintendent (S01E01)

TV Series 2021 Season 1, Episode 12 22 min ★ 8.2/10 (56,471 ratings) 561 clips
Comedy
("Amazing Grace" plays)
"("Amazing Grace" plays)"
Abbott Elementary
♪
"♪"
Abbott Elementary
Ms. Teagues, are you chewing gum?
"Ms. Teagues, are you chewing gum?"
Abbott Elementary
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Abbott Elementary
Where does gum go when you enter this classroom?
"Where does gum go when you enter this classroom?"
Abbott Elementary
CHILDREN: Wanda the Waste Basket!
"CHILDREN: Wanda the Waste Basket!"
Abbott Elementary
Okay. All right, come on,
"Okay. All right, come on,"
Abbott Elementary
my future little Odd Futures.
"my future little Odd Futures."
Abbott Elementary
Time to go back to our classroom.
"Time to go back to our classroom."
Abbott Elementary
♪
"♪"
Abbott Elementary
Uh, come on, guys.
"Uh, come on, guys."
Abbott Elementary
You'll see Ms. Davis next week.
"You'll see Ms. Davis next week."
Abbott Elementary
(sighs) Hey, guys.
"(sighs) Hey, guys."
Abbott Elementary
I know music class is fun,
"I know music class is fun,"
Abbott Elementary
but that's why we have to let someone else have a turn.
"but that's why we have to let someone else have a turn."
Abbott Elementary
♪
"♪"
Abbott Elementary
All right, guys, you know what?
"All right, guys, you know what?"
Abbott Elementary
Don't make me collect the recorders,
"Don't make me collect the recorders,"
Abbott Elementary
'cause if I collect them,
"'cause if I collect them,"
Abbott Elementary
who knows when you're gonna see them again.
"who knows when you're gonna see them again."
Abbott Elementary
(music stops)
"(music stops)"
Abbott Elementary
♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪
"♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪"
Abbott Elementary
I once was lost... ♪
"I once was lost... ♪"
Abbott Elementary
(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)
"(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)"
Abbott Elementary
♪
"♪"
Abbott Elementary
JANINE (sighs): So sorry I'm late.
"JANINE (sighs): So sorry I'm late."
Abbott Elementary
Oh, glad you guys started without me.
"Oh, glad you guys started without me."
Abbott Elementary
We weren't waiting.
"We weren't waiting."
Abbott Elementary
This isn't a restaurant.
"This isn't a restaurant."
Abbott Elementary
Uh, why are you late? Is everything okay?
"Uh, why are you late? Is everything okay?"
Abbott Elementary
Yeah, everything's fine.
"Yeah, everything's fine."
Abbott Elementary
The kids just love Ms. Davis' class,
"The kids just love Ms. Davis' class,"
Abbott Elementary
so it takes a while to get them back,
"so it takes a while to get them back,"
Abbott Elementary
and then everything runs a little late.
"and then everything runs a little late."
Abbott Elementary
You know, normally, I'd be bothered by my kids
"You know, normally, I'd be bothered by my kids"
Abbott Elementary
being obsessed with another teacher, but I get it.
"being obsessed with another teacher, but I get it."
Abbott Elementary
- My class? Also Davis devotees. - Mm.
"- My class? Also Davis devotees. - Mm."
Abbott Elementary
Only way she could be cooler is if she were related to Angela.
"Only way she could be cooler is if she were related to Angela."
Abbott Elementary
Not that I think all black people are related.
"Not that I think all black people are related."
Abbott Elementary
Well, maybe you do.
"Well, maybe you do."
Abbott Elementary
Maybe that was your subconscious speaking.
"Maybe that was your subconscious speaking."
Abbott Elementary
What would Angela Davis think?
"What would Angela Davis think?"
Abbott Elementary
Well, my suggestion to all of you
"Well, my suggestion to all of you"
Abbott Elementary
is to enjoy your free periods while you can.
"is to enjoy your free periods while you can."
Abbott Elementary
Because music class will be going bye-bye-bye
"Because music class will be going bye-bye-bye"
Abbott Elementary
like Blackstreet Boyz II Men.
"like Blackstreet Boyz II Men."
Abbott Elementary
Mm, mnh, no. Wrong in like three ways.
"Mm, mnh, no. Wrong in like three ways."
Abbott Elementary
Whoa. What's happening to music class?
"Whoa. What's happening to music class?"
Abbott Elementary
Well, the school pays for the music class
"Well, the school pays for the music class"
Abbott Elementary
out of discretionary funds.
"out of discretionary funds."
Abbott Elementary
And since Ava lost her dirt on Superintendent Collins
"And since Ava lost her dirt on Superintendent Collins"
Abbott Elementary
when he married the goomah,
"when he married the goomah,"
Abbott Elementary
there's no way he's gonna fork over the cash
"there's no way he's gonna fork over the cash"
Abbott Elementary
like he has for the last three years.
"like he has for the last three years."
Abbott Elementary
No more of the glitz and glam you lot have become used to.
"No more of the glitz and glam you lot have become used to."
Abbott Elementary
It's gonna go right back to the lean years.
"It's gonna go right back to the lean years."
Abbott Elementary
- (handle cracks) - Mm-hmm.
"- (handle cracks) - Mm-hmm."
Abbott Elementary
Then what are these?
"Then what are these?"
Abbott Elementary
There has to be a way to convince Superintendent Collins
"There has to be a way to convince Superintendent Collins"
Abbott Elementary
that we still need that discretionary money.
"that we still need that discretionary money."
Abbott Elementary
Well, all the principals have to present their cases for funding
"Well, all the principals have to present their cases for funding"
Abbott Elementary
to the school board at the end of the week.
"to the school board at the end of the week."
Abbott Elementary
How do you always know this stuff?
"How do you always know this stuff?"
Abbott Elementary
I told you all this many times --
"I told you all this many times --"
Abbott Elementary
I trained to be a principal.
"I trained to be a principal."
Abbott Elementary
- Mm, it's not ringing a bell. - Mm.
"- Mm, it's not ringing a bell. - Mm."
Abbott Elementary
I interned at the Baltimore School Board for two summers.
"I interned at the Baltimore School Board for two summers."
Abbott Elementary
I got my Master's in Educational Leadership,
"I got my Master's in Educational Leadership,"
Abbott Elementary
and I went through a program specifically meant
"and I went through a program specifically meant"
Abbott Elementary
to encourage young black men to become principals.
"to encourage young black men to become principals."
Abbott Elementary
So do I think that Ava can learn
"So do I think that Ava can learn"
Abbott Elementary
everything that she needs to know by Friday?
"everything that she needs to know by Friday?"
Abbott Elementary
No.
"No."
Abbott Elementary
Out of curiosity, what was her presentation like last year?
"Out of curiosity, what was her presentation like last year?"
Abbott Elementary
She played a chopped and screwed version of Tom Cruise saying,
"She played a chopped and screwed version of Tom Cruise saying,"
Abbott Elementary
"Show me the money," on repeat.
""Show me the money," on repeat."
Abbott Elementary
And no one asked any questions when that worked?
"And no one asked any questions when that worked?"
Abbott Elementary
I'm sure she is preparing,
"I'm sure she is preparing,"
Abbott Elementary
given the circumstances have changed.
"given the circumstances have changed."
Abbott Elementary
"They keep telling me I've aged out of The Bachelor,
""They keep telling me I've aged out of The Bachelor,"
Abbott Elementary
so that's why I need to borrow your birth certificate, Ava,
"so that's why I need to borrow your birth certificate, Ava,"
Abbott Elementary
- exclamation mark." - (cellphone beeps)
"- exclamation mark." - (cellphone beeps)"
Abbott Elementary
Even in a world where Ava could put together
"Even in a world where Ava could put together"
Abbott Elementary
- a competent presentation... - Mm-hmm.
"- a competent presentation... - Mm-hmm."
Abbott Elementary
...it still does not change the fact
"...it still does not change the fact"
Abbott Elementary
that the Superintendent can't stand her
"that the Superintendent can't stand her"
Abbott Elementary
and, by extension, us.
"and, by extension, us."
Abbott Elementary
The nerve on that guy.
"The nerve on that guy."
Abbott Elementary
Yeah, well, maybe this will be the year
"Yeah, well, maybe this will be the year"
Abbott Elementary
where the school board finally awards me
"where the school board finally awards me"
Abbott Elementary
that Advancement Grant that I have been applying to
"that Advancement Grant that I have been applying to"
Abbott Elementary
for 10 years.
"for 10 years."
Abbott Elementary
They will if we make them.
"They will if we make them."
Abbott Elementary
Just, like, a little... gentle arm-twisting.
"Just, like, a little... gentle arm-twisting."
Abbott Elementary
A little arm twist never hurt.
"A little arm twist never hurt."
Abbott Elementary
(gasps) This is so exciting. Oh, my God.
"(gasps) This is so exciting. Oh, my God."
Abbott Elementary
I'm gonna go to the mall right after school
"I'm gonna go to the mall right after school"
Abbott Elementary
and get a new shakedown sweater.
"and get a new shakedown sweater."
Abbott Elementary
(footsteps approaching)
"(footsteps approaching)"
Abbott Elementary
Do I even wanna know?
"Do I even wanna know?"
Abbott Elementary
I don't know. Do you?
"I don't know. Do you?"
Abbott Elementary
You know you have a presentation
"You know you have a presentation"
Abbott Elementary
to the school board coming up, right?
"to the school board coming up, right?"
Abbott Elementary
Yeah, I do it annually.
"Yeah, I do it annually."
Abbott Elementary
Right, but you're ready for the one this year?
"Right, but you're ready for the one this year?"
Abbott Elementary
This girl doesn't know what "annually" means.
"This girl doesn't know what "annually" means."
Abbott Elementary
No, I know what it means.
"No, I know what it means."
Abbott Elementary
It's just that this time is a little different.
"It's just that this time is a little different."
Abbott Elementary
Yeah, my job is on the line.
"Yeah, my job is on the line."
Abbott Elementary
More importantly, discretionary funds for the entire school.
"More importantly, discretionary funds for the entire school."
Abbott Elementary
Yeah, but those two things kinda go hand in hand
"Yeah, but those two things kinda go hand in hand"
Abbott Elementary
- if you really think about it. - Great.
"- if you really think about it. - Great."
Abbott Elementary
So you're taking it seriously, then.
"So you're taking it seriously, then."
Abbott Elementary
As a heart attack.
"As a heart attack."
Abbott Elementary
I haven't watched Love After Lockup in like a month.
"I haven't watched Love After Lockup in like a month."
Abbott Elementary
Free Puppy.
"Free Puppy."
Abbott Elementary
Can I see the presentation?
"Can I see the presentation?"
Abbott Elementary
You don't have a lawyer, do you?
"You don't have a lawyer, do you?"
Abbott Elementary
No. Oh, not unless you count that guy
"No. Oh, not unless you count that guy"
Abbott Elementary
that represented me in that hit-and-run.
"that represented me in that hit-and-run."
Abbott Elementary