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Clips from Cheers - Take My Shirt... Please? (S04E04)

Bert. Hi. Sam malone.

"Bert. Hi. Sam malone."

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Diane, come on over here And meet bert.

"Diane, come on over here And meet bert."

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Hello, bert. How are you?

"Hello, bert. How are you?"

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This must be pretty Thrilling for you.

"This must be pretty Thrilling for you."

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You see me pitch At fenway?

"You see me pitch At fenway?"

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No.

"No."

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Oh. You caught me On the tube, then?

"Oh. You caught me On the tube, then?"

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Not really. Actually, I've never heard of you.

"Not really. Actually, I've never heard of you."

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But to tell the truth,

"But to tell the truth,"

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I wouldn't know A baseball from a meatball.

"I wouldn't know A baseball from a meatball."

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Boy! Catch me having Spaghetti at his house.

"Boy! Catch me having Spaghetti at his house."

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Well, why don't you Just let me sign That thing for you,

"Well, why don't you Just let me sign That thing for you,"

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And you can get The hell out of here.

"And you can get The hell out of here."

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I have no interest In that. I thought you Might like it back.

"I have no interest In that. I thought you Might like it back."

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Why did you buy it If you didn't want it?

"Why did you buy it If you didn't want it?"

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Frankly, it was Getting on my nerves.

"Frankly, it was Getting on my nerves."

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I mean, the thing Kept coming back.

"I mean, the thing Kept coming back."

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Finally i said To myself,

"Finally i said To myself,"

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"It's for a worthy cause.

""It's for a worthy cause."

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Put the damn thing Out of its misery."

"Put the damn thing Out of its misery.""

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Excuse me.

"Excuse me."

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Can i see you In my office?

"Can i see you In my office?"

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Gee, sam, I'm awfully busy Right now.

"Gee, sam, I'm awfully busy Right now."

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No hurry. Whenever You have a minute.

"No hurry. Whenever You have a minute."

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Now, sam--

"Now, sam--"

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Relax, relax. What's the matter?

"Relax, relax. What's the matter?"

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You're upset,

"You're upset,"

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You're humiliated,

"You're humiliated,"

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And you're angry.

"And you're angry."

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This shirt thing Has been

"This shirt thing Has been"

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An emotional roller Coaster for you,

"An emotional roller Coaster for you,"

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And you want someone

"And you want someone"

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On whom to vent Your frustration.

"On whom to vent Your frustration."

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Come on. Take a look at me.

"Come on. Take a look at me."

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Do i look upset? Do i look angry?

"Do i look upset? Do i look angry?"

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Then why did You drag me in here?

"Then why did You drag me in here?"

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Because i know that You were just dying

"Because i know that You were just dying"

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To call me a big dope.

"To call me a big dope."

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No! Uh-uh, not me.

"No! Uh-uh, not me."

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Yeah. I thought I'd give you a chance

"Yeah. I thought I'd give you a chance"

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To do it privately.

"To do it privately."

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I see what You're doing.

"I see what You're doing."

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What?

"What?"

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You want an excuse To blow up

"You want an excuse To blow up"

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And let it All out so you'll Feel better,

"And let it All out so you'll Feel better,"

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And you want me to Provide the excuse.

"And you want me to Provide the excuse."

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Well, i'm not Falling for that.

"Well, i'm not Falling for that."

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I am not going to Blow up. I just think that

"I am not going to Blow up. I just think that"

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We're not going to be able To lay this thing to rest

"We're not going to be able To lay this thing to rest"

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Until you call me A big dope.

"Until you call me A big dope."

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It's what in your mind, So why don't you just say it?

"It's what in your mind, So why don't you just say it?"

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Get it over with, And then we'll go on With our lives.

"Get it over with, And then we'll go on With our lives."

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No.

"No."

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Well, i really wish You would.

"Well, i really wish You would."

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I think it would be Good for me to hear.

"I think it would be Good for me to hear."

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Well, maybe--

"Well, maybe--"

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I knew it!

"I knew it!"

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I knew you couldn't keep Your big fat mouth shut!

"I knew you couldn't keep Your big fat mouth shut!"

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You think you know Everything, don't you?

"You think you know Everything, don't you?"

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In your entire life, You've never said,

"In your entire life, You've never said,"

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"I don't know," Or, "i think this,"

""I don't know," Or, "i think this,""

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Or, "in my humble opinion."

"Or, "in my humble opinion.""

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Oh, no. You always Just say "this" And you just say "that."

"Oh, no. You always Just say "this" And you just say "that.""

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This! That! This! That! You're nuts!

"This! That! This! That! You're nuts!"

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You are crazy! In your Twisted little mind,

"You are crazy! In your Twisted little mind,"

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You probably think you're Gonna make me crazy,

"You probably think you're Gonna make me crazy,"

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Just like you made Frasier crazy,

"Just like you made Frasier crazy,"

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Just like you make Everybody crazy,

"Just like you make Everybody crazy,"

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But you're not gonna Make me crazy!

"But you're not gonna Make me crazy!"

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You want to know why? I'm gonna tell you why.

"You want to know why? I'm gonna tell you why."

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Are you listening? Here it comes.

"Are you listening? Here it comes."

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I don't know!

"I don't know!"

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And i'll tell you Something else!

"And i'll tell you Something else!"

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You don't know, Either.

"You don't know, Either."

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Nobody knows why you're Not gonna make me crazy!

"Nobody knows why you're Not gonna make me crazy!"

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So stick that in your hat And smoke it!

"So stick that in your hat And smoke it!"

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Thank you.

"Thank you."

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Anytime.

"Anytime."

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