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Clips from 30 Rock - Christmas Attack Zone (S05E05)

TV Series 2006 Season 5, Episode 10 ★ 7.3/10 (12 ratings) 474 clips
Sport
Sure.
"Sure."
30 Rock
instead of spending Christmas Eve with your family?
"instead of spending Christmas Eve with your family?"
30 Rock
That way I avoid the annual Lemon family blow-up.
"That way I avoid the annual Lemon family blow-up."
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I swoop in the next day for presents and pie.
"I swoop in the next day for presents and pie."
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she can complain with about how no one wears pantyhose any longer.
"she can complain with about how no one wears pantyhose any longer."
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How are we supposed to conceal our spider veins?
"How are we supposed to conceal our spider veins?"
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and to sell Proactiv.
"and to sell Proactiv."
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Ever since Tracy got nominated for a Golden Globe,
"Ever since Tracy got nominated for a Golden Globe,"
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We'll just do this without him.
"We'll just do this without him."
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"Tom Ford and Elton John invite you to New Queer's Eve."
""Tom Ford and Elton John invite you to New Queer's Eve.""
30 Rock
What is this?
"What is this?"
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Also, replicas of The David urinate vodka!
"Also, replicas of The David urinate vodka!"
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Oh, God!
"Oh, God!"
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Paul and I were going to come up with an amazing couple's costume.
"Paul and I were going to come up with an amazing couple's costume."
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But now that he's gone, what's the point?
"But now that he's gone, what's the point?"
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The party... or Paul?
"The party... or Paul?"
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The party, Liz!
"The party, Liz!"
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Good news.
"Good news."
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Oh,
"Oh,"
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Anyway, I was gonna bring dessert tomorrow.
"Anyway, I was gonna bring dessert tomorrow."
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Their parents are usually dead or senile
"Their parents are usually dead or senile"
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Oh, you know.
"Oh, you know."
30 Rock
You haven't told Colleen about the baby yet!
"You haven't told Colleen about the baby yet!"
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What?
"What?"
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For instance, I can now tell
"For instance, I can now tell"
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refusing to talk about his feelings.
"refusing to talk about his feelings."
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Sir, this came for you.
"Sir, this came for you."
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Dearly beloved,
"Dearly beloved,"
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No, I don't.
"No, I don't."
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"Charlie Rose"!
""Charlie Rose"!"
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I gotta stay serious.
"I gotta stay serious."
30 Rock
I didn't care much for the gazpacho soup.
"I didn't care much for the gazpacho soup."
30 Rock
I mean, where's the fun of sending it back because it isn't hot?
"I mean, where's the fun of sending it back because it isn't hot?"
30 Rock
I see.
"I see."
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This is a disgrace!
"This is a disgrace!"
30 Rock
at the Death Shore Retirement Community going to say?
"at the Death Shore Retirement Community going to say?"
30 Rock
has knocked up a Protestant?
"has knocked up a Protestant?"
30 Rock
I knew you'd do this. Take a happy moment and ruin it.
"I knew you'd do this. Take a happy moment and ruin it."
30 Rock
You kept this from your own mother?
"You kept this from your own mother?"
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This isn't over!
"This isn't over!"
30 Rock
Hey, Rick, can you cover Section 3 for me?
"Hey, Rick, can you cover Section 3 for me?"
30 Rock
But it's over between us now.
"But it's over between us now."
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I don't even think about Jenna anymore.
"I don't even think about Jenna anymore."
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I don't think about kissing her,
"I don't think about kissing her,"
30 Rock
or laughing with her,
"or laughing with her,"
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You can't be on the floor without your roller skates, Rick!
"You can't be on the floor without your roller skates, Rick!"
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I'm not Rick!
"I'm not Rick!"
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I'm glad you could make it, Lemon.
"I'm glad you could make it, Lemon."
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Red or white?
"Red or white?"
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Oh, that must be dad.
"Oh, that must be dad."
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Wait, does Milton know that Colleen is here?
"Wait, does Milton know that Colleen is here?"
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Will he erupt with anger over her years of secrecy?
"Will he erupt with anger over her years of secrecy?"
30 Rock
Yes.
"Yes."
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You're going to be a grandfather.
"You're going to be a grandfather."
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Oh, what a blessing!
"Oh, what a blessing!"
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Life is beautiful!
"Life is beautiful!"
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"Joy, beautiful spark of the gods,
""Joy, beautiful spark of the gods,"
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It's a girl! She'll be intuitive!
"It's a girl! She'll be intuitive!"
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because my girlfriend Avery and I are not married.
"because my girlfriend Avery and I are not married."
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"There's No Wrong Way to Make a Family".
""There's No Wrong Way to Make a Family"."
30 Rock
I agree with you, Milton. But Colleen disapproves.
"I agree with you, Milton. But Colleen disapproves."
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Jack, I got your message.
"Jack, I got your message."
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I didn't mean for my message to make you angry
"I didn't mean for my message to make you angry"
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where we let the child name itself.
"where we let the child name itself."
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- Oh, yeah. That's hippie nonsense. - Absolutely not.
"- Oh, yeah. That's hippie nonsense. - Absolutely not."
30 Rock
Well, suit yourself, but my son Spider-Man turned out just fine.
"Well, suit yourself, but my son Spider-Man turned out just fine."
30 Rock
I mean, who hasn't made mistakes?
"I mean, who hasn't made mistakes?"
30 Rock
Don't worry. I sent her to the East Wing.
"Don't worry. I sent her to the East Wing."
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Russell Crowe is having an auction
"Russell Crowe is having an auction"
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It's gonna be real depressing.
"It's gonna be real depressing."
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In the Darfur region, the dead may be the lucky ones.
"In the Darfur region, the dead may be the lucky ones."
30 Rock
Next slide.
"Next slide."
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And after all, isn't laughter the best medicine?
"And after all, isn't laughter the best medicine?"
30 Rock
Mother, you look lovely.
"Mother, you look lovely."
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I see you've brought the bag
"I see you've brought the bag"
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My father. And your shameful sex secret.
"My father. And your shameful sex secret."
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He's a good boy. He got me a kidney!
"He's a good boy. He got me a kidney!"
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Going on father and son Habitat for Humanity builds
"Going on father and son Habitat for Humanity builds"
30 Rock
Oh, hi, Colleen.
"Oh, hi, Colleen."
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Merry Christmas one and all!
"Merry Christmas one and all!"
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And that's all I'm getting.
"And that's all I'm getting."
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Hi, Colleen.
"Hi, Colleen."
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This thing hasn't even started.
"This thing hasn't even started."
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Ladies of the battered women's shelter, please be quiet.
"Ladies of the battered women's shelter, please be quiet."
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Comedy is just as important-portant-portant...
"Comedy is just as important-portant-portant..."
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Laughter is the best medicine-medicine-medicine...
"Laughter is the best medicine-medicine-medicine..."
30 Rock
Damn it! I can't get Kenneth out of my head.
"Damn it! I can't get Kenneth out of my head."
30 Rock
Well, he's right! People do need to laugh.
"Well, he's right! People do need to laugh."
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And I'm the medicine.
"And I'm the medicine."
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Lights!
"Lights!"
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- So... - Oh, my God.
"- So... - Oh, my God."
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Don't go to her!
"Don't go to her!"
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It's like something...
"It's like something..."
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like my son...
"like my son..."
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We are not calling anyone!
"We are not calling anyone!"
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We have to call an ambulance.
"We have to call an ambulance."
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You need to meet our daughter.
"You need to meet our daughter."
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Listen, I'm not here because I want to get back together.
"Listen, I'm not here because I want to get back together."
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Good. Me neither.
"Good. Me neither."
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No, thank you, I can't stay.
"No, thank you, I can't stay."
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that I had an amazing idea for a couple's costume...
"that I had an amazing idea for a couple's costume..."
30 Rock
Well, so did I. What's yours?
"Well, so did I. What's yours?"
30 Rock
and see what happens?
"and see what happens?"
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- You dress as Natalie Portman... - I dress as Natalie Portman...
"- You dress as Natalie Portman... - I dress as Natalie Portman..."
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...wide receiver... ...wide receiver...
"...wide receiver... ...wide receiver..."
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...gubernatorial nominee... ...gubernatorial nominee...
"...gubernatorial nominee... ...gubernatorial nominee..."
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Yes, I do believe a heart is required.
"Yes, I do believe a heart is required."
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Okay, I'll go first.
"Okay, I'll go first."
30 Rock
We were planning to elope in the Caribbean over New Year's,
"We were planning to elope in the Caribbean over New Year's,"
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I'm going to go get a bus to White Haven now
"I'm going to go get a bus to White Haven now"
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by holding someone's baby while cooking.
"by holding someone's baby while cooking."
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Listen, Jackie.
"Listen, Jackie."
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I know.
"I know."
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And if I got upset earlier,
"And if I got upset earlier,"
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He's a doctor, for God's sakes!
"He's a doctor, for God's sakes!"
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- I gave you a home for so long. - No, you insult your own intelligence.
"- I gave you a home for so long. - No, you insult your own intelligence."
30 Rock
To this wedding or any other wedding!
"To this wedding or any other wedding!"
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You sound like a typical capitalist pig!
"You sound like a typical capitalist pig!"
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In sin and darkness pining
"In sin and darkness pining"
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'Til He appeared
"'Til He appeared"
30 Rock
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