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Clips from American Dad! - Wife Insurance (S04E04)

"I was caught having sex with a man, and I'm being excommunicated."
American Dad!
"- What about Stan? - Nope. I don't believe Stan has had sex with Father Carrington."
American Dad!
"Also, we lost communications with Stan 12 hours ago."
American Dad!
"- [Sobbing] - I'm trained for this. Step aside, please."
American Dad!
"[Sobbing] We're gonna die!"
American Dad!
"I just know it. I just really do."
American Dad!
"Stay cool, Stan. We've been trained for this."
American Dad!
"I know, but I forget. [Sobbing]"
American Dad!
"There's gotta be a way out of here."
American Dad!
"I think our luck just changed."
American Dad!
"[Squish]"
American Dad!
"# If it's true don't leave me all alone out here #"
American Dad!
"#Wonderin' if you're ever gonna take me there #"
American Dad!
"#Tell me what you're feelin' 'cause I need to know #"
American Dad!
"# Girl, you gotta let me know ##"
American Dad!
"[Gasps, Quivers]"
American Dad!
"[Both Moaning]"
American Dad!
"#Which way to go 'cause I need to know #"
American Dad!
"#Tell me, baby girl 'cause I need to know ##"
American Dad!
"[Both Moaning]"
American Dad!
"Oh, just go."
American Dad!
"All right, Wheels, this is the last place Hayley saw her Shuffle."
American Dad!
"- Careful! - Sorry. I'm a little rusty using the chair."
American Dad!
"[Yelps, Groans]"
American Dad!
"[Whimpering]"
American Dad!
"- Aw, for cryin' out loud! - No, no, no, no, no-"
American Dad!
"I did it! [Gasps] Look."
American Dad!
"A butt-print on Hayley's bedspread."
American Dad!
"Way too big to be Hayley's."
American Dad!
"There are only two people who could leave a print that big."
American Dad!
"[Sniffing]"
American Dad!
"Well, it's not Travolta, so it's gotta be Barry."
American Dad!
"[Crying, Sniffling] Mama."
American Dad!
"Stan went on a mission, and he's been missing for five days."
American Dad!
"[Crying] What's that in the background?"
American Dad!
"You're at a movie?"
American Dad!
"Well, go in the lobby. You're being rude."
American Dad!
"[Brakes Screech]"
American Dad!
"Stan!"
American Dad!
"There, there, Francine. I promised I'd be home in time..."
American Dad!
"to take you out for a romantic Valentine's dinner."
American Dad!
"- Mmm! - Mmm!"
American Dad!
"If I smell at all like sex, it's because ofJim."
American Dad!
"I was on his heels as he porked our way through 200 miles of jungle."
American Dad!
"His hips never stopped moving. It was magnificent."
American Dad!
"[Gasping] Stan, you're crushing me."
American Dad!
"## [Piano: Romantic]"
American Dad!
"Sorry I didn't have time to get you a Valentine's Day present."
American Dad!
"Just having you home safe is the only present I need."
American Dad!
"Aw, Francine, you know I'll always come back."
American Dad!
"I know. But sometimes I think about if you didn't. And you know what?"
American Dad!
"I think that would be it for the romantic part of my life."
American Dad!
"And that'd be fine because I would have known my soul mate..."
American Dad!
"my one true love."
American Dad!
"And the memory of our love would be enough to sustain me..."
American Dad!
"for the rest of my days alone."
American Dad!
"How about you? What would you do if I died?"
American Dad!
"Oh, I'd marry Meg Penner, my backup wife."
American Dad!
"Meg Penner?"
American Dad!
"Wait. Dr. Penner, our dentist?"
American Dad!
"Exactly. That's who I would marry next. She's my backup."
American Dad!
"You already know who you want to marry after I'm dead?"
American Dad!
"It's nothing formal. Meg and I were talking during one of my routine cleanings."
American Dad!
"The subject came up, and we decided that, if our spouses die..."
American Dad!
"we'll marry each other."
American Dad!
"Wait. Dr. Penner knows about this?"
American Dad!
"Francine, listen to yourself."
American Dad!
"without alerting the backup bride?"
American Dad!
"I mean, that would- that would just be weird."
American Dad!
"- Are you sleeping with her? - Of course not."
American Dad!
"Oh, baby. Baby, you must have misheard me or misunderstood me."
American Dad!
"It-It was probably my fault. [Clears Throat]"
American Dad!
"None of this happens until you are dead."
American Dad!
"Stan, I want you to break off this crazy arrangement with Dr. Penner."
American Dad!
"I'm not dead, and I don't like you arranging my replacement as if I were."
American Dad!
"No. You're making a big deal out of nothing."
American Dad!
"You think Dr. Penner's approaching this as casually as you are?"
American Dad!
"Probably. She's pretty casual."
American Dad!
"usually get remarried right away."
American Dad!
"So this is actually a huge compliment to you."
American Dad!
"There's your Valentine's Day present."
American Dad!
"Your present is that observation."
American Dad!
"[Kiss]"
American Dad!
"- This is the room where I sleep in my house. - Don't get smart with me."
American Dad!
"You wanna do this the hard way, that's fine. I invented "the hard way.""
American Dad!
"- What do you think you're doing? - I'm playing bad cop."
American Dad!
"- You know- good cop, bad cop. - Yeah, but I'm the bad cop."
American Dad!
"Roger, I'm the one in the wheelchair."
American Dad!
"I'm bitter about my fate and constantly in pain..."
American Dad!
"from the one-eyed serial killer's bullet lodged in my spine."
American Dad!
"- I'm bad cop. - No, no."
American Dad!
"- You're good cop. - I'm bad cop!"
American Dad!
"You don't have the guts. I can "bad cop" better than you in my sleep."
American Dad!
"- Oh, yeah? - Yeah!"
American Dad!
"Oh, the boys will love you in there."
American Dad!
"- They won't leave one fat fold unviolated. - [Whimpers]"
American Dad!
"- [Yelping] - Still won't talk?"
American Dad!
"In two hours, I can have a dead baby stuffed with heroin planted in your mom's car."
American Dad!
"- Is that what you want, wide load? - [Yelps]"
American Dad!
"- [Yelping, Whimpering] - Put out your hands."
American Dad!
"- I made heavy pants. - I said put out your hands!"
American Dad!
"- You got real pretty hands, fat boy. - [Yelps]"
American Dad!
"- Now I'm gonna make you eat 'em! - [Screeches]"
American Dad!
"God, Roger! All right, all right. You can be bad cop."
American Dad!
"- Thank you. That's all I wanted to hear. - I confess!"
American Dad!
"I went in Hayley's room. I like to put her toothbrush in my mouth."
American Dad!
"It tastes like mint, and sometimes I find food."
American Dad!
"- But what about Hayley's Shuffle? - I don't know!"
American Dad!
"I was just eating toothbrush corn. Then the fish scared me away."
American Dad!
"[Together] Klaus!"
American Dad!
"Wow! Lookin' good."
American Dad!
"Doesn't she?"
American Dad!
"- Jim? Wait. What are you doing here? - Didn't I tell you?"
American Dad!
"[Giggles] Can you get my back, J-Dog?"
American Dad!
"- Oh, Jim's my backup husband. - What?"
American Dad!
"I'm honored. I mean, I'll be sleeping with your wife someday."
American Dad!
"That makes us like brothers or something."
American Dad!
"Would you excuse us for a minute, Jim?"
American Dad!
"Sure. I'll just go do my tai chi."
American Dad!
"but I never laid around the pool having Meg Penner rub lotion on me."
American Dad!
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