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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Spaghetti Catalyst (S03E03)

"- Let's go. - Hold on."
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"Nope. No reason."
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"All right, say hello to your mother for me."
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"Okay."
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"What?"
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"You said you were going for a walk."
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"I didn't say outside."
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"So what, you're gonna walk up and down the stairs?"
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"No, of course not."
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"That would be odd and suspicious behavior."
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"- Here, Rumples. Here, boy. - Which way are you going?"
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"- Which way are you going? - I parked my scooter down the block."
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"I'm going the other way. Bye."
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"Oh, actually, I'm this way."
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"Do I smell hot dogs?"
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"Well, I definitely smell raw hot dog."
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"Perhaps you're getting a brain tumor."
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"All right, have a nice walk."
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"I shall. Have a nice scoot."
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"Oh, hello, doggie. Nice doggie."
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"I bet you think you smell hot dogs."
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"Look, a cat."
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"Penny."
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"Penny."
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"Penny."
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"Here."
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"I had to trade the others for my life."
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"I haven't had sex in a year."
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"Where are you going with this, Raj?"
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"Don't flatter yourself, dude."
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"- I wanna go out and meet a woman. - So go."
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"I need a wingman. I don't wanna come off like a lonely loser."
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"Well, I do. Next to you, I look like a catch."
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"- I'm not going out tonight, Raj. - All right."
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"Would you mind if I went to your room and downloaded Asian pornography?"
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"Very much."
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"Doesn't have to be Asian."
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"- Don't worry. You'll meet a girl. - No, I won't."
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"Yes, you will. And she'll be beautiful..."
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"- You really think so? - I do."
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"You'll fall hopelessly in love and give her your heart."
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"She'll take it and grind it into pathetic little pieces."
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"We will have sex first, right?"
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"Mm, mm, mm."
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"That's Italian."
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"So was Leonard okay with you coming over?"
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"In fact, he said, "I'm fine. I don't care.""
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"In no manner which would lead one to believe..."
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"...that he was covering up feelings of anguish and betrayal."
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"- Well, good. - I'm also pleased to report..."
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"...that he's all cried out over you."
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"He's been crying?"
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"Oh, God. I feel terrible."
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"Do you have a stomachache too?"
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"No. Why, do you?"
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"Why did you ask if I had one too?"
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"Just making polite dinner conversation."
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"Your turn."
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"All right."
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"So, what's new in your life?"
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"Well, my new shoes are not made for running."
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"No."
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"It's just a suspicion I have."
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"Mm, mm, mm."
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"- I'm so glad you like it. - I do."
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"Leonard never cooks for me."
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"You can't cook and you made me this."
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"Whatever. Oh, let me get the cheesecake out of the fridge."
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"Oh, Lord, I'm in Jewish hell."
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"Look at this. Do you think she's really doing that or is it Photoshop?"
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"I'm sure Martha Stewart never got naked..."
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"...with a room full of big fat Japanese guys."
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"You don't know that."
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"Prison changes people."
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"Hey, where you been?"
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"I told you. Walking."
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"For an hour and a half?"
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"I got lost."
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"How could you get lost? Your phone has GPS."
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"Satellites are down. Solar flares."
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"- There are no solar flares now. - Yes, there are."
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"Dude, I'm an astrophysicist. If there were solar flares, I'd be all up in it."
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"I'm sorry, I misspoke."
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"What I meant to say was my battery died."
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"- What the hell was that about? - I don't know."
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"- Leonard. - Oh, just come in!"
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"Thanks for seeing me on such short notice."
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"Maybe this isn't a good time."
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"Tell me why you woke me up or I swear to God I will kill you."
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"Do you really think death threats are an appropriate way to begin conversation?"
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"Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me."
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"What do you want?"
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"You may wanna sit down."
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"I'm in bed."
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"Point taken. You may wanna sit up."
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"Okay."
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"When you say "seeing Penny," what exactly does that mean?"
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"Fine. Why did you have dinner with Penny?"
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"She made spaghetti with little hot dogs."
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"Well, then why did you have Chinese food with us?"
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"I didn't wanna upset you."
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"Howard made it very clear that my allegiance should be to male comrades..."
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"...before women who sell their bodies for money."
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"...from achieving REM sleep was entirely unjustified?"
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"Yes."
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"Well, then as my meemaw would say..."
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"...looks like we butchered a pig, but nobody wanted bacon."
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"I guess not."
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"Sheldon and the Hell Hound."
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"Or How I Lost My Hot Dogs."
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"Oh, um, ahem."
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"- I can come back. - Don't be silly."
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"We're neighbors. We're gonna run into each other. May as well get used to it."
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"Yeah. I guess you're right."
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"- Used to it yet? - Nope."
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"Me neither."
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"But I want you to know it's fine."
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"Oh, good. Because his mother called me."
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"- His mother? - Yeah, she wants me..."
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"...to take him shopping for sheets and towels."
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