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Clips from The Simpsons - The Way We Weren't (S15E15)

"Actually, Marge, there was someone before you."
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"(GASPING)"
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"it was years ago when I was 1 0, back in the '60s or '50s."
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"Uh, yeah, pretended."
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"Hey, you must be Homer! I'm Lenny and this is Carl."
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"Wow, a Negro."
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"We prefer the term "black.""
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"and they never came back for him."
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"(ALL YELLING)"
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"(COY GIGGLING)"
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"ALL: Wha..."
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"What bills?"
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"We got no water, no heat. We catch our own breakfast."
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"I thought we were gonna play fun games at camp."
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"YOUNG MARGE: Oh, no. My retainer."
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"A girl with teeth! Me like."
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"YOUNG MARGE: Oh, thank you. You sound so sweet."
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"(CHUCKLING)"
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"You know, doing dishes has been the best part of camp."
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"YOUNG MARGE: Really? Why?"
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"Because I talked to you."
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"Tell us more about the flaps."
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"To me, they were the rubbery gates of heaven"
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"Oh, man. Someday love'll come sliding down my chute."
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"Oh, a switchblade!"
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"I see the switch, but where's the blade?"
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"Oh, don't worry. Chicks love that kind of thing."
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"Patches, scars, stumps."
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"I guess it's row versus wade. And it's my right to choose!"
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"Are you looking to cross the lake which separates ye from she?"
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"Who are you?"
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"The sailing instructor."
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"And on movie night, I run the projector."
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"Only PG. Nothing R."
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"HOMER: I couldn't believe my eye."
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"She was the prettiest girl I'd ever seen."
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"(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)"
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"Until I met your mother,"
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"who made that girl look like a Godzilla made of garbage!"
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"Homer, that girl was me!"
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"(ALL GASPING)"
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"Yes. And then your father broke my heart."
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"Oh, this is so confusing! I'd like a brief recess."
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"(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)"
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"(GIGGLING)"
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"Let me get this straight."
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"When you were my age, you had the hots for Mom"
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"and didn't even know it?"
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"Why? Because I only kissed one girl in my whole life?"
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"That's still one more than you."
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"(SOBBING)"
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"You're not gonna be kissing anybody for a while!"
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"Well, that stinks!"
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"But I still get to kiss you, right?"
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"Mom, why are you so mad?"
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"I'll start from the beginning."
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"Now that I've captured your interest, let me continue."
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"By summer's end, I promise you will all walk like ladies,"
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"talk like ladies, and hold your liquor like ladies."
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"Girls, see how Marge's legs are slanted?"
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"You make Jackie O look like a splay-legged milk-horse."
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"(STRUGGLING)"
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"Anyhoo, one night we had a special dinner."
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"Ow!"
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"Knife and fork together, denied yourself dessert."
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"Nice work, Marge. Really."
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"Oh, no! My retainer!"
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"YOUNG HOMER: I got it!"
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"I'd thank you, but I don't even know your name."
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"I bet it's something low-rent like Billy Bob."
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"Or Homer."
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"Big ugly Homer!"
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"Oh, I'm sure it's a much nicer name than Homer."
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"Er..."
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"Think, Homer. Think."
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"Elvis Jagger. Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar."
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"I told my friends I had a date."
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"What should I wear?"
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"And what should I do with my hair?"
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"You could iron it."
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"Iron my hair?"
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"That's what Leslie Uggams does!"
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"BART: Leslie who?"
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"MARGE: Uggams!"
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"I guess I'm going to have to be a brunette tonight."
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"SEA CAPTAIN: I met her on the mountain"
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"There I took her life"
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"(WHIMPERING)"
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"Oh. He's cute."
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"And he's got an eye patch."
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"I've never seen a boy so mysterious."
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"Elvis? What the hell kind of name is..."
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"Oh, yeah. Right."
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"We've heard the same story two times now."
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"Whose side are we gonna hear next? The Sea Captain's?"
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"No, no. I'd best be on me way."
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"I'll just take some Teddy Grahams for the road."
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"There goes a good friend."
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"Now I'm gonna warn you kids, the next part of the story gets a little WB."
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"Oh, man. I want to kiss her."
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"Wait. I just thought of the greatest move ever!"
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"(EXAGGERATED YAWNING)"
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"Oh, no. He yawned. I'm boring him."
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"I like Bobby Goldsboro, Gilbert O'Sullivan,"
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"Terry Jacks, Parliament, but not Funkadelic."
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"Er..."
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"Um..."
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"Kiss her already. What are you, chicken?"
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"Is he making chicken noises?"
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"I think about you day and night It's only right"
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"If I should call you up, invest a dime"
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"Ahhh!"
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"The perfect kiss!"
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"It was pretty delicious."
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"with all the right sized envelopes."
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"it felt like a cluster bomb wiping out a graveyard full of zombies."
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"Uh-oh!"
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"(HUMMING)"
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"Because he's the kind who kisses and leaves you!"
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"(SOBBING)"
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