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Clips from American Dad! - The Adventures of Twill Ongenbone and His Boy Jabari (S08E08)

"Mr. Gooding was awarded that for his excellence in acting."
American Dad!
"Sure, he made some bad choices"
American Dad!
"after the film Show Me the Money,"
American Dad!
"but that Oscar is his and not yours."
American Dad!
"And nothing you do in your miserable life"
American Dad!
"(Klaus panting)"
American Dad!
"Is everything okay?"
American Dad!
"There! Are you happy now?!"
American Dad!
"Did you have to be so hard on him?"
American Dad!
"He was pretending to be the recipient"
American Dad!
"of the highest honor awarded in the world of acting."
American Dad!
"I know, but it's just..."
American Dad!
"He was making out like he won an Oscar."
American Dad!
"You're right."
American Dad!
"It's an Oscar, for God's sake."
American Dad!
"Why doesn't anyone like my awards?"
American Dad!
"Like this one."
American Dad!
"You're supposed to get this for being good at bowling."
American Dad!
"Are you good at bowling?"
American Dad!
"Bowling's gross."
American Dad!
"So this is just a hunk of plastic."
American Dad!
"All this stuff is."
American Dad!
"for things you haven't earned."
American Dad!
"But I could earn things."
American Dad!
"I know."
American Dad!
"You've got great stuff in there."
American Dad!
"You just have to apply yourself."
American Dad!
"You believe in me!"
American Dad!
"(musical trilling)"
American Dad!
"Yeah, when I'm really happy."
American Dad!
"(musical trilling) Ew!"
American Dad!
"Yeah, it's made out of pee-pee."
American Dad!
"(crickets chirring)"
American Dad!
"Hey, Dad. Hmm."
American Dad!
"So, Dad, Mr. Brink gave us an assignment."
American Dad!
"We're supposed to interview our dads."
American Dad!
"It's-it's supposed to show us"
American Dad!
"that history can come from anywhere."
American Dad!
"What?"
American Dad!
"I'm just supposed to ask some background questions,"
American Dad!
"you know... (laughs) about your life."
American Dad!
"That's getting awfully personal."
American Dad!
"What?! But-but how am I gonna do my assignment?"
American Dad!
"Maybe you don't do this one."
American Dad!
"It doesn't matter."
American Dad!
"You said that about middle school."
American Dad!
"When's it start to matter?"
American Dad!
"Never. Never."
American Dad!
"Check it out, guys."
American Dad!
"I'm training for the Langley Falls marathon."
American Dad!
"Whoa, that's a big deal, running a marathon."
American Dad!
"You're not running any marathon."
American Dad!
"Francine explained how when you work for something,"
American Dad!
"it's more valuable."
American Dad!
"If I finish this marathon, I earn a medal."
American Dad!
"Stan...It's true. What?"
American Dad!
"His legs are shorter than his feet."
American Dad!
"Ugh! Roger, don't listen to him."
American Dad!
"Like when you get drunk tonight"
American Dad!
"and eat all the fruit leather which you claim to hate."
American Dad!
"I do hate it! Where is it?"
American Dad!
"And I'm gonna help you."
American Dad!
"♪ Take it maybe one step more"
American Dad!
"♪ So you better win it..."
American Dad!
"Look, Steve, a lot of people feel more comfortable"
American Dad!
"when it's not face-to-face."
American Dad!
"Eating lunch. I just needed a break from work, you know?"
American Dad!
"Lately, I've been thinking about all the people I've had to kill."
American Dad!
"God. The first five, ten times you take a life, it's eerie."
American Dad!
"I can see all their faces."
American Dad!
"One had a beard."
American Dad!
"Each time I pulled the trigger,"
American Dad!
"'Course eventually, I stopped caring."
American Dad!
"Now I can put a bullet through a man's head"
American Dad!
"while figuring out how much KFC to pick up on my way home."
American Dad!
"The sick part is, I've come to love it--"
American Dad!
"The Messenger of Eternal Darkness."
American Dad!
"A merciless demon with an unquenchable..."
American Dad!
"Oh, they just put more orange chicken in the buffet."
American Dad!
"Got to run. (dial tone)"
American Dad!
"Ha! I'm gonna win this thing."
American Dad!
"Everybody looks so slow!"
American Dad!
"(starting gun fires)"
American Dad!
"Oh, my God! Are you okay?"
American Dad!
"I turned my ankle... but I can run it off."
American Dad!
"(yelling) Roger!"
American Dad!
"Stop! You're hurt."
American Dad!
"Why'd this happen to me?!"
American Dad!
"I actually tried this time!"
American Dad!
"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
American Dad!
"You know, I was gonna give you this after the race, but here."
American Dad!
"(gasps)"
American Dad!
"It's because you worked really hard,"
American Dad!
"and that's all that matters."
American Dad!
"Wow. I love it."
American Dad!
"Hey, could you pull over for a sec?"
American Dad!
"And flowers?"
American Dad!
"Wait, I can't hold everything."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna have my friend hold my cone."
American Dad!
"(cheering and shouting continue)"
American Dad!
"You did it! Yay! We love you, Roger!"
American Dad!
"I could never get away with those, not since the baby!"
American Dad!
"You didn't win the marathon."
American Dad!
"Are you sure?"
American Dad!
"'Cause everyone else thinks I did."
American Dad!
"I think my trophy is a cooz magnet,"
American Dad!
"and this photo won't scare off any wang, either."
American Dad!
"I don't know why you did this."
American Dad!
"You worked so hard to get ready."
American Dad!
"I mean, you weren't gonna win, but you would have finished."
American Dad!
"That would have been a real achievement."
American Dad!
"You see, I never went running after breakfast."
American Dad!
"What? Then what were you doing?"
American Dad!
"And then I'd leave the house and jog to the corner."
American Dad!
"There, I'd have a cigarette,"
American Dad!
"two if I ran into that looker Rhonda"
American Dad!
"Then I'd head down the street"
American Dad!
"to where that house is getting a second floor,"
American Dad!
"And I'd usually fall asleep on the pot."
American Dad!
"Those crappers heat up big time in the sun,"
American Dad!
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