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Clips from Scrubs - My Life in Four Cameras (S04E04)

"If there is one thing I have learned, it's that you can't schedule love."
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"we are turning the bathrooms on even-numbered floors into patient rooms."
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"There's still a bathroom on two, but my joke wouldn't have worked."
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"- You've gone soft. - OK, now it's getting spooky."
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"Look, you're the only one who can stand up to Kelso."
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"I'm going to stop having sex with you"
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"Where is that bastard? Kelso!"
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"- My wife's name's Carla. - Yeah."
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"- Like from the show. - Just like it."
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"I never met anyone with the same name as the show's character."
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"Excuse me, J. D!"
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"Talk about your Dianes!"
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"Come here, girl. Right here."
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"- Where have you been? - I was up at..."
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"- Gotta go. - Gotta go."
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"- Sorry, Madge. - What do you want, Perry?"
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"Bob, enough with the stinking budget cuts already."
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"Oh, baloney, old man!"
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"and my idea of getting it all back by charging $100 for a piece of cake"
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"I lost over 230 pounds so far."
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"- Why does he wear those pants? - All right. Fair enough."
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"I got your budget reports. You don't know who to fire."
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"Watch and learn. I'll do it,"
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"I have to fire someone."
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"The man had a massive heart attack. I was nothing but professional."
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"What do you want?"
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"- Hey, yo, Turk! - What's up?"
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"Definitely."
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"Baby. Yeah, I'm not going to make our next kiss."
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"I'm swamped too. Yeah."
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"I think you got it, Dr Schwartz."
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"Oh, for God's sake, Perry,"
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"Do you think I know any of these people's stories?"
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"Next to him is Mike. Lost half his leg in a motorcycle accident."
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"And then there's Judy. Been here 30 years."
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"Two away from retirement."
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"Are you kidding me? I read their files."
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"- Dr Drinks-a-lot. - Hold your horses!"
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"Looks like you could use a refresher."
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"makes me happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow."
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"God bless you. God bless you."
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"- I have to fire Opie, don't I? - You think?"
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"Metastatic lung cancer? How was he walking around with this?"
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"Mr James, I'm not quite sure how to say this,"
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"when a few hours ago, we all thought he was fine."
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"It made me realize something."
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"Whether it was giving bad news to a patient,"
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"We couldn't even make it one day."
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"... or having to do someone else's dirty work..."
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"Say, Kenny? Can I talk to you for a second?"
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"... there are moments when we all wish life was more like a sitcom."
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"I'm so sorry."
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"I'm sorry, too, sir."
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"like go to a carnival or take a ride in a hot-air balloon."
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"A hot-air balloon seems kind of dangerous. I mean, he could get hurt."
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"What's he going to do, bruise one of his giant malignant tumours?"
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"Safety is always important, Elliot."
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"Yes, it's mopping time and, as you know, I like to start"
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"in the exact spot you're standing."
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"It went dynamite with my beige cords."
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"- You wanted to see me? - Yeah."
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"I wanted to tell you that I... I think you're doing a great job."
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"I took off the gloves, it makes the hair a lot easier to pick out."
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"Perry, why the hell is he still here? When I go back down to the cafeteria,"
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"there had better be only three workers there."
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"You thinking what I'm thinking?"
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"All right, knuckleheads. I need one of you to win this talent show."
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"I can do Shakespeare in German!"
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"In college, I double-majored in theatre and classic languages."
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"Let's take a look at our other options."
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"Jordan, your only skill is illegal in 26 states."
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"You know, you're wrong about Turk. He has many, many talents."
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"- Oh, really? - Really."
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"- Really? - Really!"
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"I know how long we've been married and what our song is."
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"I don't know the name of it, but I it goes like this..."
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"Is that not our song?"
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"Sorry you missed getting your face painted."
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"They only had time to paint one more face,"
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"so I let the kid behind me go to make him stop crying."
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"Talent show? I'd love to see it, but I'm too tired to get out of bed."
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"That sucks for you!"
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"O Romeo, Romeo..."
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"Hey, I'm wondering, what's the story with steel wool?"
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"Are there iron sheep hopping around Scotland?"
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"Look, I... Start laughing or I start unplugging machines."
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"And if any of you cows, goats or ducks have any questions,"
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"I'm just like all of you,"
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"only giant and human."
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"Hi. I'm Kenny."
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"- Hey. That... that's our song. - Yeah, I know. I told him to sing it."
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"The winner."
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"And by good time, she means bumping uglies."
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"Who cares about him? He's anti-Semitic!"
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"This is the kind of thing I say out loud in my head."
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"It just seems like in the end, everything always works out"
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"Mr James? Mr James, can you hear me?"
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"He's apnoeic! We need an airway! Anaesthesia!"
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"- Wait. This isn't right. - We're going to intubate."
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"Hang some dopamine, wide open!"
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"Unfortunately, things don't always end as neat and tidy as they do in sitcoms."
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"You have to work on them."
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"Hey, Kenny, once again, I'm... I'm real sorry."
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"Welcome to my world."
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"And around here, nice people don't always get better."
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"And at times like that, it's comforting to know"
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"OK! We passed section one,"
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""Sitcoms about or involving Asian-American diner owners"."
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""Fat, tubby TV husbands"
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"- What? - Yes!"
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"Turk was freaked out. Carla neverjoins us"
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"Darn it! You won."
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"Do you see what you get when you mess with the warrior!"
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"and I'm still pulling 16-hour shifts,"
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"so we try to make sure we kiss once a day."
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"Tuesdays and Thursdays... I scooter to my baby"
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"OK, OK, everybody just shut up!"
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"No, I'm talking about all the..."
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"- Thank you. - Sure."
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"if you actually fornicate with the animal it's named for."
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