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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Campaign Shake-Up (S04E04)

"In a town of this size, the Parks department"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"traditionally has ten employees."
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"You have only seven. Why is that?"
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"I work hard to make sure my department"
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"is as small and ineffective as possible."
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"The department is so small because Leslie Knope"
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"single-handedly does the work of four people."
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"And she's already scaled back her time."
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"If she wins, she'll be dividing her time"
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"between Parks and City Council."
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"to pick up the slack."
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"No! Chris, that's unnecessary."
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"The department is doing fine without Leslie."
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"Then prove it. Complete one major project."
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"Either we complete a government project"
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"which is abhorrent to me,"
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"which repulses me to my core."
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"Reminds me of when my dad made me choose"
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"which of my pet calves to slaughter with my own hands"
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"for my sixth birthday."
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"I couldn't choose, so I slaughtered both of them."
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"And they were delicious."
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"Essentially, we're going to put a ramp"
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"on every building in town."
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"Like I always say,"
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"stairs are a young man's game."
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"Damn straight."
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"This is very impressive."
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"You know, you remind me of my brother."
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"You have the same name, Leslie."
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"The middle third."
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"He's-- he's fine now."
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"Much shorter, but a good-looking, young, flat man."
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"What have you heard about Newport's new campaign manager,"
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"Jennifer Barkley?"
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"Uh, who?"
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"She wants to have a meeting with me at 5:00."
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"I told her sorry."
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"I don't talk politics after dinner."
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"Oh my God... Newport hired a real Washington hotshot."
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"Wow, she worked with James Carville?"
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"She ran two Republican congressional campaigns"
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"and a Senate race."
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"Yeah, and check out this picture."
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"She's eating egg salad with Colin Powell."
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"That's the most impressive thing I've ever seen."
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"Why are you smiling?"
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"Why is this terrifying information making you smile?"
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"- So what do we do next? - I'm going to set up a meeting."
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"it'll humanize you and make it harder for her to attack you."
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"And we'll do it at JJ's Diner."
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"Home field advantage."
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"As a candidate, I appreciate your strategic mind,"
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"Hello, Ann Perkins."
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"This is the first time you've said my entire name correctly."
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"I have good news for you."
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"I'm making the water fountain hygiene upgrade"
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"our number one priority."
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"Oh, great."
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"For some reason,"
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"when people in Pawnee use the water fountain,"
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"they put their mouths completely over the spouts."
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"It's like this weird, disgusting, local quirk."
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"Kiss one water-fountain drinker,"
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"you're kissing everyone in Pawnee."
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"I'd like to complete this project"
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"Oh."
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"In fact, take Leslie's desk."
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"Okay, I will. Thanks. Great."
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"Do you want the door open or shut?"
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"Ah, open's fine."
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"Okay."
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"Hello, Marta."
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"We would like our regular table,"
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"but we want you to set it up a little fancier than normal"
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"You mean Ms. Barkley."
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"She's already here. Last booth."
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"Leslie Knope. Hi."
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"I'm Jen Barkley."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"Grab a seat."
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"Thanks."
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"Sorry about all these papers."
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"I had them shipped in. I'm a news junkie."
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"Oh. Well, thank you."
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"And Leslie, your Parks work, it's no joke."
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"This is federal government caliber."
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"Not to sound rude, but what are you doing here?"
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"This campaign seems beneath you."
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"Yeah."
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"I'd never heard of Bobby Newport before,"
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"but it became clear in two seconds"
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"So I was, like, "sorry, Nick."
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"Your son is a moron. There's no way.""
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"Then he offered me a crazy amount of money."
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"I shouldn't even tell you how much."
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"But I will. $250,000."
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"Good lord. For six weeks of work?"
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"I know."
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"Plus frankly, I needed a break from Washington."
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"Do you know Joe Biden?"
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"Oh, mm-hmm."
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"He's on my celebrity sex list."
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"Well, he is my celebrity sex list."
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"Oh, trust me. You can do better than Joe."
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"I don't-- I don't think I can."
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"No way."
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"Oh, man."
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"I knew I shouldn't have met you guys."
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"Now I kind of hope you win."
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"She's just doing this for the money."
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"She doesn't even like her own client."
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"This could be the best case scenario for us."
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"Or the real best case scenario is if she just takes the money"
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"and doesn't even try."
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"Tell me a little bit about Leslie Knope."
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"Well, Perd, Leslie Knope represents"
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"everything that is wrong about politics in America."
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"She's naive, she's untested,"
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"and she's an entrenched bureaucrat"
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