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Clips from Community (2009) - Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps (S03E03)

"Let's make this party fast and furious,"
Community (2009)
"Yeah, I want to go to the dance."
Community (2009)
"I heard the Dean's got free taco meat from the army."
Community (2009)
"But first, why don't we tell some scaaary stories?"
Community (2009)
"I'll start with a story about a horrible fate"
Community (2009)
"befalling innocent people,"
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"and then I'm curious to get individual reactions."
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"Once upon a time,"
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"there was a couple in a car in the woods"
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"making out or something."
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"I think I heard something."
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"Mmm."
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"An escaped convict from the asylum has escaped,"
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"and he's mental and he's on the loose and stuff."
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"Oh, my God. That sounds dangerous."
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"Oh, I'm sure it's no biggie,"
Community (2009)
"I'm only half-present."
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"He was last seen in the woods and has a thingy for a hand,"
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"a hook thing where his hand should be."
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"Fine, I'll get out and look."
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"But then I'm entitled to sex."
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"I'm getting stabbed with his hook hand thing."
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"Oh, my God! No!"
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"And the woman was screaming and screaming"
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"and the man got killed."
Community (2009)
"- Abed? - Yep?"
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"Seems fair."
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"What embarrassed you about it?"
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"I didn't care about the characters."
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"Didn't care about them?"
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"They were stupid."
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"They deliberately put themselves in danger,"
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"and, when they were warned about it,"
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"the guy got out of the car."
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"Do you believe because he was stupid"
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"he deserved to die?"
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"What the hell kind of party is this?"
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"I suppose, from a creative standpoint,"
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"Your story's not scary because the characters"
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"are making choices the audience wouldn't make."
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"Plus, you need a smarter lead. Here, like this."
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"It's a dark, cold night in the woods."
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"then cut to--"
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"Here we are, a log cabin I rented so we could be"
Community (2009)
"intimate in safety, because it's not the 50s,"
Community (2009)
"That makes sense."
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"I'm turned on by how logical you are."
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"I'm comforted by your shiny hair and facial symmetry."
Community (2009)
"so this would be the optimal time to kiss."
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"Enjoyable. Soft lips."
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"Just the right level of moisture."
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"- Would you like to do it again? - No."
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"I brought it as a cautionary measure,"
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"of the local insane asylum."
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"Oh, is that why you were able to rent it"
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"- at such a reasonable rate? - Yes."
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"I hope you're as fertile as I am tonight."
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"- More. - Ahh."
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"Abed!"
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"Why are you doing the whole song?"
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"They wouldn't turn the radio on at the exact moment"
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"of the most pertinent news broadcast."
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"It's too coincidental."
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"But I'll jump forward in time."
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"What was that noise?"
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"Based on the news report we just heard,"
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"I assume it's the deranged, hook-handed killer, who escaped"
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"when the asylum's antiquated security system failed."
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"I guess they shouldn't have cut corners,"
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"although it is understandable,"
Community (2009)
"given the recent economic downturn."
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"Should we go check it out?"
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"No. We should call 911"
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"on my fully-charged cell phone,"
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"lock the doors, and then stand back to back"
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"in the middle of the room holding knives."
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"- I love you-- - Shh."
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"Ugh."
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"Did these people ever die or what?"
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"Eventually, once it had been..."
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"Eaaarned."
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"Well, Britta..."
Community (2009)
"It looks like you're barking up the wrong tree."
Community (2009)
"Yeah. You want to hear a scary story?"
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"I've got a scary story."
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"Thank you for pulling me from that carriage."
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"I don't know what could have frightened my horses so."
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"I don't believe in monsters."
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"I believe every man has good within."
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"I must retrieve my books from the debris tomorrow."
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"I am a schoolteacher,"
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"and many children rely on me to educate them."
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"What's wrong?"
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"Do not judge me for my weakness."
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"Stifle your slackened maw,"
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"you drained and tainted bitch dog."
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"I'm fine with this."
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"Ahh!"
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"Wait!"
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"Teach me to read."
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"Aww."
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"Wo..."
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"Sound it out."
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"Wo...Rd dog"
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"hates... Cats."
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""Oh reason not the need!"
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"Our basest beggars are in the poorest things superfluous.""
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"Yes! Yes! Yes!"
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"Thank you for helping me,"
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"but I'm afraid some monsters"
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"cannot change."
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"No..."
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"Resist your craving!"
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"Just pick up a good book"
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"and read!"
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"Your porcelain neck,"
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"in the light of the full moon,"
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"too appetizing."
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"Unfortunate..."
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"For you."
Community (2009)
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