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Clips from Mortdecai

Movies 2015 107 min ★ 5.5/10 (80,774 ratings) 3,801 clips
Adventure Comedy Action

Credits

I am loved and respected by all who know me...
"I am loved and respected by all who know me..."
Mortdecai
Some final piece of my personal puzzle.
"Some final piece of my personal puzzle."
Mortdecai
The work of art with which
"The work of art with which"
Mortdecai
and this little bit of magic
"and this little bit of magic"
Mortdecai
I see.
"I see."
Mortdecai
Find, you said.
"Find, you said."
Mortdecai
Very, very rare.
"Very, very rare."
Mortdecai
I am sure that you will agree
"I am sure that you will agree"
Mortdecai
Well, have it your way, Fang.
"Well, have it your way, Fang."
Mortdecai
I trust that you have, um, brought the treasuries?
"I trust that you have, um, brought the treasuries?"
Mortdecai
Now, you look here, Fang! Fat. Fang Fat.
"Now, you look here, Fang! Fat. Fang Fat."
Mortdecai
or scoundrel, I will grant you.
"or scoundrel, I will grant you."
Mortdecai
Jock!
"Jock!"
Mortdecai
Well done, Jockie.
"Well done, Jockie."
Mortdecai
Jock, you're ablaze!
"Jock, you're ablaze!"
Mortdecai
Jock laid out the state
"Jock laid out the state"
Mortdecai
Massive, crushing debt.
"Massive, crushing debt."
Mortdecai
We hurried back to Mortdecai Manor,
"We hurried back to Mortdecai Manor,"
Mortdecai
to sell off some of my prized possessions.
"to sell off some of my prized possessions."
Mortdecai
But I was hopeful my new moustache
"But I was hopeful my new moustache"
Mortdecai
only our passions keeping us...
"only our passions keeping us..."
Mortdecai
who said that kissing a man without
"who said that kissing a man without"
Mortdecai
a moustache is rather like eating an egg without salt.
"a moustache is rather like eating an egg without salt."
Mortdecai
You have five minutes to shave it off.
"You have five minutes to shave it off."
Mortdecai
and I have had every intention of seeing it through.
"and I have had every intention of seeing it through."
Mortdecai
Oh, darling...
"Oh, darling..."
Mortdecai
It's not even fully corked. It's a baby.
"It's not even fully corked. It's a baby."
Mortdecai
the guest bedroom for Mr. Mortdecai?
"the guest bedroom for Mr. Mortdecai?"
Mortdecai
And I shan't be having dinner downstairs this evening.
"And I shan't be having dinner downstairs this evening."
Mortdecai
I'll just have a supper tray in my room.
"I'll just have a supper tray in my room."
Mortdecai
I do believe Jock has informed you
"I do believe Jock has informed you"
Mortdecai
All right. That gives us six...
"All right. That gives us six..."
Mortdecai
Four days, sir.
"Four days, sir."
Mortdecai
She's only human, sir.
"She's only human, sir."
Mortdecai
A quick aside about Jock.
"A quick aside about Jock."
Mortdecai
which can be occasionally problematic.
"which can be occasionally problematic."
Mortdecai
To a wealthy turkey farmer...
"To a wealthy turkey farmer..."
Mortdecai
Get your head down, sir.
"Get your head down, sir."
Mortdecai
Don't shoot, farmer!
"Don't shoot, farmer!"
Mortdecai
I only gave her the once-over.
"I only gave her the once-over."
Mortdecai
Dear, sweet, simple Jock.
"Dear, sweet, simple Jock."
Mortdecai
And a dead hag.
"And a dead hag."
Mortdecai
Bull's-eye.
"Bull's-eye."
Mortdecai
Get back behind the tape!
"Get back behind the tape!"
Mortdecai
an admirable job stomping all over the place.
"an admirable job stomping all over the place."
Mortdecai
No, I do not know that, Maurice.
"No, I do not know that, Maurice."
Mortdecai
No one knows the filthy underside
"No one knows the filthy underside"
Mortdecai
He is the filthy underside.
"He is the filthy underside."
Mortdecai
Inspector Alastair Martland.
"Inspector Alastair Martland."
Mortdecai
MI5.
"MI5."
Mortdecai
Martland and I met at Oxford.
"Martland and I met at Oxford."
Mortdecai
What?
"What?"
Mortdecai
Inspector Martland, sir.
"Inspector Martland, sir."
Mortdecai
What does that blighter want?
"What does that blighter want?"
Mortdecai
Tell him to ring back
"Tell him to ring back"
Mortdecai
Oh, all right. Wheel him in.
"Oh, all right. Wheel him in."
Mortdecai
Beware the carafe on the top shelf.
"Beware the carafe on the top shelf."
Mortdecai
It contains water.
"It contains water."
Mortdecai
he reached underneath for the big decanter,
"he reached underneath for the big decanter,"
Mortdecai
a gross amount of what he thought was my Taylor '31.
"a gross amount of what he thought was my Taylor '31."
Mortdecai
to the tune of eight million quid, old boy.
"to the tune of eight million quid, old boy."
Mortdecai
That's not natural.
"That's not natural."
Mortdecai
Slightly.
"Slightly."
Mortdecai
that I feared she had done herself
"that I feared she had done herself"
Mortdecai
a horrible mischief.
"a horrible mischief."
Mortdecai
Mmm, thank you.
"Mmm, thank you."
Mortdecai
Last night she was killed. Painting has disappeared.
"Last night she was killed. Painting has disappeared."
Mortdecai
But I don't see what it has to do with me.
"But I don't see what it has to do with me."
Mortdecai
then the Goya disappears without a trace.
"then the Goya disappears without a trace."
Mortdecai
Emil Strago.
"Emil Strago."
Mortdecai
Fundamentalist, revolutionary, trained in Syria,
"Fundamentalist, revolutionary, trained in Syria,"
Mortdecai
fought in Senegal. An expert in special warfare.
"fought in Senegal. An expert in special warfare."
Mortdecai
He's linked to a number of
"He's linked to a number of"
Mortdecai
All right, he's unpleasant. What of him?
"All right, he's unpleasant. What of him?"
Mortdecai
But if Strago is involved, well,
"But if Strago is involved, well,"
Mortdecai
And you would like me to find it before he does?
"And you would like me to find it before he does?"
Mortdecai
But now you're dangling off the end of it.
"But now you're dangling off the end of it."
Mortdecai
like a Welsh barmaid.
"like a Welsh barmaid."
Mortdecai
What's in it for me, as they say?
"What's in it for me, as they say?"
Mortdecai
Good God, man!
"Good God, man!"
Mortdecai
We're talking about a bloodthirsty extremist
"We're talking about a bloodthirsty extremist"
Mortdecai
Ten percent, sir.
"Ten percent, sir."
Mortdecai
And 10 percent of the insurance money
"And 10 percent of the insurance money"
Mortdecai
Done.
"Done."
Mortdecai
Oh, and incidentally, I asked for some cheese,
"Oh, and incidentally, I asked for some cheese,"
Mortdecai
Alastair.
"Alastair."
Mortdecai
Radiant...
"Radiant..."
Mortdecai
After a three-year courtship,
"After a three-year courtship,"
Mortdecai
to express his feelings to her.
"to express his feelings to her."
Mortdecai
In verse.
"In verse."
Mortdecai
Echo-ey, don't you know?
"Echo-ey, don't you know?"
Mortdecai
Mmm.
"Mmm."
Mortdecai
Do inform him that that ship has sailed.
"Do inform him that that ship has sailed."
Mortdecai
Metaphoric woman... Women.
"Metaphoric woman... Women."
Mortdecai
I will kill her.
"I will kill her."
Mortdecai
My wife needs to come around
"My wife needs to come around"
Mortdecai
to a certain viewpoint. That is all.
"to a certain viewpoint. That is all."
Mortdecai
Well, good luck, mate.
"Well, good luck, mate."
Mortdecai
Of course.
"Of course."
Mortdecai
Someone must have known I was coming.
"Someone must have known I was coming."
Mortdecai
Well, it must have been his dealer.
"Well, it must have been his dealer."
Mortdecai
Johanna, my darling.
"Johanna, my darling."
Mortdecai
My... My love. My...
"My... My love. My..."
Mortdecai
Mmm...
"Mmm..."
Mortdecai
Sheik of Araby who seeks admission into your tent.
"Sheik of Araby who seeks admission into your tent."
Mortdecai
My Sheik, does this mean you have excommunicated
"My Sheik, does this mean you have excommunicated"
Mortdecai
Darling,
"Darling,"
Mortdecai
for, you know,
"for, you know,"
Mortdecai
And by the way, did I mention
"And by the way, did I mention"
Mortdecai
Oh, God. It's unbearable.
"Oh, God. It's unbearable."
Mortdecai
You will get used to it. I promise.
"You will get used to it. I promise."
Mortdecai
I'm invested in it.
"I'm invested in it."
Mortdecai
Heavens, no. You needn't worry yourself.
"Heavens, no. You needn't worry yourself."
Mortdecai
It looked like you have a vagina on your face.
"It looked like you have a vagina on your face."
Mortdecai
Jockie,
"Jockie,"
Mortdecai
Yeah, give us a minute, love.
"Yeah, give us a minute, love."
Mortdecai
Hello.
"Hello."
Mortdecai
And myself sleeping alone.
"And myself sleeping alone."
Mortdecai
Dash it all, I am resolved.
"Dash it all, I am resolved."
Mortdecai
and we will find that painting if it is the last thing we do.
"and we will find that painting if it is the last thing we do."
Mortdecai