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Clips from The Office - Sexual Harassment (S02E02)

"Yes, this is the one, you remember? No, the party?"
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"Wait. Hypocrite! Leave those lips alone!"
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"Okay, she is a hypocrite. That is such a scam. Okay."
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"Yes? Yes, I did."
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"The girl in the video we're watching that corporate gave us,"
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"Darryl banged her..."
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"drive you around town, we got lost for half an hour."
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"I don't have any DUIs, so I can drive myself, but thanks."
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"Where is Michael Snot? Sniffing some dude's thong?"
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"Probably."
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"So you are the lawyer, Mr. O'Malley. I know a lot of lawyer jokes."
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"I love lawyer jokes."
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"Well, it's probably because you don't get them."
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"You wouldn't arrest a guy who was just delivering drugs from one guy to another."
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"Well, that's true, in a way, you can't say anything."
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"Where's the line? Where's the line, Jan?"
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"Do you need to see the video again, Michael?"
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"No, I've seen the video. He talked the whole time."
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"No, I didn't."
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"What?"
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"Attention, everyone. Hello."
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"Yes, I just want you to know that, this is not my decision,"
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"but from here on out, we can no longer be friends."
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"And when we talk about things here, we must only discuss"
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"And in the future, if I want to say something funny,"
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"I will no longer ever do any of those things."
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"Does that include that's what she said?"
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"You really think you can go all day long?"
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"That's what she said!"
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"Michael!"
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"Come on."
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"You would have done the same, you just didn't think of it first."
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"Michael. Michael, please, I really... It's... That's..."
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"Hello. Jan, Mr. O'Malley,"
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"this is my lawyer, James P. Albini. Your what?"
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"And motorcycle head injuries, worker's comp, and diet pill lawsuits."
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"Excuse me, I'm sorry. Michael, Mr. O'Malley is your lawyer."
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"We have him on retainer to protect the company,"
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"I am so used to fighting corporate, that I forget that I am corporate."
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"Upper management."
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"They hooked me up with an attorney, to protect me."
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"Yeah, but I did a lot of paperwork at home before I got here."
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"I know. Well, we'll talk about it later. Thanks for coming in."
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"Hello."
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"Okay, that's probably the most obvious statement ever."
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"Yeah, I'm in charge of this whole area. Oh, my goodness, that's great."
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"She goes, Oh, my God, that's incredible, where are we going?"
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"Boom!"
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"This is where I used to keep my computer."
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"Oh, right, I remember, with the picture."
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"But then I moved it. Yeah, yeah."
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"But I switched stuff around, because I actually needed,"
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"So this is, like, an organization station."
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"Oh, there he is! Hey!"
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"How are you? Hey, handsome."
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"You look great. Oh, thank you."
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"So, we ready for dinner?"
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"Well, you know, actually, I kind of need to stall a bit."
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"I don't believe that."
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"And what kind of tunes you want for the ride?"
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"A little classical, little oldies? Anything is fine."
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"All right, okay. Okay. Ten minutes."
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"Okay. Then we can go to dinner."
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"There's this guy, he's at a nymphomaniac convention."
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"except for this one chick, who looks a lot like..."
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"Phyllis?"
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"Yeah. No, no, no, that crosses the line."
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"Not you."
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"just unwarranted, hostile work environment, Kevin."
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"Well, Packer said it."
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"No, you said it, he pointed. A point is not a say."
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"Look, Kevin, we are a family here,"
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"and Phyllis is a valued member of that family, like a grandmother."
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"I'm the same age as you, Michael. I don't know about that."
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"We're the same high school class..."
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"You know what? You just crossed the line. Okay?"
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"Yes, your corner, go. Okay."
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"I have a lot of work to do, anyway."
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"Oh, my. They really got to you, didn't they?"
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"They didn't get to me."
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"I got to them."
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"I am still the same old Michael Scott."
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"New and improved."
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"You know what? I love Phyllis."
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"And know what else? I think she is gorgeous."
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"I think she is an incredibly, incredibly attractive person."
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"Come here, give me a kiss, come on."
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"gonna report you to HR. I'm not... I'm not worried!"
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"You know what? The only thing I am worried about"
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"is getting a boner."
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"As much as I might want to."
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"Any e-mails today?"
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"What?"
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"We're like Friends."
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"And Pam is Rachel."
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"It was awesome."
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"Okay."
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"Well, to be fair, blondes, brunettes, you know,"
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"Come on, kid, let's go."
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"I'm really excited to meet your mom. You are?"
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"Oh, really? Yeah."
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"So he's really not a part of our family."
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"of the company's sexual harassment policy."
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"What? No. Just to refresh you on our policy."
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"But you are going to have a mutiny on your hands."
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"So the next day, he goes back to complain."
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"Find a killer joke that'll just blow everybody away at the seminar later."
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"So what've we got, like... Man, we could see all your business"
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"Well, you know not exactly... A little package!"
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"and maybe just don't joke around about that stuff in front of her."
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"You send me these filthy e- mails, and you say,"
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"Give me a break. Stanley?"
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"That is my daughter, she goes to Catholic girls' school."
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"All relationships? Even a one-night stand?"
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"What does that mean?"
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"or witty, or do an impression,"
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"Yes. Wow, that is really hard."
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"There he is. Please."
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"Hello."
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"Honey, pack your bags, I just won the lottery."
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