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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events - The Wide Window: Part Two (S01E01)

"I brought the bill. Take your time."
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"I'm sure none of you are in any particular hurry."
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"The banker's buying."
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"Oh, oh! Well, okay, that... that's fine."
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"Uh, Sham, I need to have a few words with you about the children's education."
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"Oh, I've always been a big supporter of the school voucher system."
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"- Have you indeed? Tell me more. - Yeah."
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"Everyone is allergic to something."
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"And you'll do all the dishes."
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"The Baudelaire orphans were allergic to peppermint."
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"Of course, if you are allergic to a thing,"
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"particularly if the thing is cats."
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"But Violet, Klaus and Sunny knew that this was an emergency."
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"The strange message they had received seemed to indicate"
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"but not until after they got away from Count Olaf and his miserable lunch."
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"That reminds me of a time I bought a carton of milk."
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"Well, the clerk asked me what kind of milk..."
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"...almond milk, whole milk. And so I said, Low fat, please."
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"And then the clerk leads me to the dairy section"
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"You look terrible!"
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"We're having allergic reactions."
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"I feel... I feel quite terrible."
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"- I'm sure it's nothing. - Nothing?"
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"Violet has a hive on her face the size of a hard-boiled egg."
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"They just need to take some deep breaths."
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"Poe, it's in the middle of brunch. Just lean back in your seat."
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"Captain Sham, the children are quite ill."
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"Let's pay the bill and take the children home."
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"I wouldn't dream of leaving you alone."
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"Well, there is the matter of the paperwork to go over"
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"to make the, uh, adoption official,"
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"of the Fickle Ferry's, uh, prehurricane special reduced ticket prices."
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"and have a relaxing lunch."
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"I'll see you very soon."
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"Save the fish heads!"
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"but I assume that you think we ought to decode Aunt Josephine's note"
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"before Count Olaf and Mr. Poe finish the paperwork."
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"But how are we gonna get all the way back up to Aunt Josephine's house?"
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"If you look at the white whale in terms of postcolonialism..."
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"Thank you, sir."
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"Call me Ishmael."
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"We don't have much time before Hurricane Herman arrives."
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"- The library. - Good idea. The library."
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"Got it. Sunny and I will take baking soda baths to treat our hives,"
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"Exactly. Nouns and verbs."
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"And those moneys are locked into the tuition fund."
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"So the tuition fund cannot be spent, for example,"
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"on a pair of diamond cufflinks?"
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"Just asking."
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"All you do is saute garlic and onions in a pot,"
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"Stop being friendly to him!"
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"Anxious Clown Restaurant. This is Larry, your waiter."
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"Secure for the moment, but you need to know..."
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"Hello?"
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"How does it work? Hello?"
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"- Hurricane? - Buckle up, darling."
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"It's gonna be a bumpy flight."
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"How's your swollen tongue? And how's your research?"
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"My tongue is improving."
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"- As for my research, see for yourselves. - What is all this?"
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"It's Aunt Josephine's note."
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"- Look, I-T-apostrophe-S. - I remember."
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"when she meant its as in belonging to it."
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"That was just to get our attention. But look at the second sentence."
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"My heart is as cold as Ike."
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"As cold as ice would make a lot more sense."
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"Exactly! Unless these aren't grammatical mistakes at all."
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"They're a message. Aunt Josephine said she and Ike developed secret codes."
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"Curdled Cave."
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"What if she only wants people to think that she's dead?"
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"People who don't care about grammatical errors."
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"- Like Count Olaf. - Exactly."
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"What if she's alive and wants us to know where she's hiding?"
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"Curdled Cave."
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"We have to find her."
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"- How are we gonna get to the Curdled Cave? - Look at the dotted line."
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"The Fickle Ferry leaves every 17 minutes."
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"Klaus!"
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"And, finally, there is still the matter of Aunt Josephine's house to take care of."
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"- Right. - Those forms"
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"need to be filled out in quintuplicate."
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"Mmm!"
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"sighs"
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"And then we can treat ourselves"
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"to my second favorite candy when I was a boy, peppermints."
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"During tourist season at Lake Lachrymose,"
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"the Fickle Ferry brings visitors from all over the world"
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"fresh air..."
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"The ferry leaves every 17 minutes to the Lavender Lighthouse,"
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"where tourists can walk to Curdled Cave"
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"But that's only when the weather is warm."
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"which is why the ferry company has added two words"
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"a phrase which here means"
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"you might miss reading it until it was too late."
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"- Weather permitting. - What does that mean?"
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"A number of concerned people are worried"
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"that if you watch the Baudelaire orphans steal a sailboat"
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"and sail across Lake Lachrymose in the middle of Hurricane Herman..."
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"We're gonna steal a sailboat,"
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"you might be tempted to do such a thing yourself."
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"We're stealing these, too."
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"So allow me to offer you a piece of advice,"
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"even though I don't know anything about you."
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"We're just borrowing it. We'll bring it back."
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"And do not attempt to sail that sailboat during a hurricane."
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"I've read some aquatic literature."
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"I've seen this lever in naval blueprints."
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"Sailing across Lake Lachrymose in a hurricane"
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"offers a plethora of challenges."
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"Plethora is a word which here means too many to list, but I will try."
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"Your boat might be tossed into the Wicked Whirlpool..."
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"or dashed to bits on the Rancorous Rocks."
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"Watch out for the rocks!"
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"And even if you were lucky enough"
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"to spy the faint purple beam of the Lavender Lighthouse..."
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"it would be an outright miracle if your boat were not destroyed"
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"at the craggy entrance of Curdled Cave."
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"Even Hurricane Herman."
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"Lake Lachrymose is actually very pretty."
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"I never noticed it before."
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