You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Ted 2

Short Films 2015 3 min ★ 7.3/10 (32 ratings) 2,360 clips
Short Comedy
Happy endings can come true for anyone.
"Happy endings can come true for anyone."
Ted 2
I do.
"I do."
Ted 2
I'm gonna go fifty shades of bear on you tonight.
"I'm gonna go fifty shades of bear on you tonight."
Ted 2
Hey, congrats, you mofos.
"Hey, congrats, you mofos."
Ted 2
Oh. Thank you so much for being a part of it.
"Oh. Thank you so much for being a part of it."
Ted 2
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
"(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)"
Ted 2
No! No! I said no Electric Slide.
"No! No! I said no Electric Slide."
Ted 2
God damn it, you will not wreck this night
"God damn it, you will not wreck this night"
Ted 2
with your forced white people group fun.
"with your forced white people group fun."
Ted 2
(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)
"(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)"
Ted 2
Are you still shaking off that hangover from the bachelor party?
"Are you still shaking off that hangover from the bachelor party?"
Ted 2
Oh, my God. She's fucking begging for it!
"Oh, my God. She's fucking begging for it!"
Ted 2
I mean, everything seemed like it was gonna be so perfect.
"I mean, everything seemed like it was gonna be so perfect."
Ted 2
Hey, listen. Don't let her drag you
"Hey, listen. Don't let her drag you"
Ted 2
Watch it, you fucking tool!
"Watch it, you fucking tool!"
Ted 2
Hey, hey! Big day, huh, bud?
"Hey, hey! Big day, huh, bud?"
Ted 2
Fuck, let's do it. There he is!
"Fuck, let's do it. There he is!"
Ted 2
Ho! Fuck you, thunder!
"Ho! Fuck you, thunder!"
Ted 2
Can't be bad to feel so good
"Can't be bad to feel so good"
Ted 2
Ask me when will the day be
"Ask me when will the day be"
Ted 2
TED: This is the best day of my life!
"TED: This is the best day of my life!"
Ted 2
I think you're bleeding us dry, is what I think you're doing.
"I think you're bleeding us dry, is what I think you're doing."
Ted 2
I need clothes for work. All right, Teddy?
"I need clothes for work. All right, Teddy?"
Ted 2
You should fucking talk!
"You should fucking talk!"
Ted 2
It's important to look good at work.
"It's important to look good at work."
Ted 2
Like an asshole! That's what you're acting like!
"Like an asshole! That's what you're acting like!"
Ted 2
Jesus Christ! Listen to you! You're delusional!
"Jesus Christ! Listen to you! You're delusional!"
Ted 2
I should've married Robert DiCicco. I really should've.
"I should've married Robert DiCicco. I really should've."
Ted 2
Oh, newsflashl Boston whore has seen Italian penis.
"Oh, newsflashl Boston whore has seen Italian penis."
Ted 2
What the fuck did you just call me, fucker?
"What the fuck did you just call me, fucker?"
Ted 2
You wanna throw shit?
"You wanna throw shit?"
Ted 2
Why don't you come down and make me, tough guy?
"Why don't you come down and make me, tough guy?"
Ted 2
Yeah, why don't you come up here
"Yeah, why don't you come up here"
Ted 2
Hey, shut up, lady!
"Hey, shut up, lady!"
Ted 2
God damn it!
"God damn it!"
Ted 2
Hey, I'm really sorry! Yeah, me, too.
"Hey, I'm really sorry! Yeah, me, too."
Ted 2
$25O? Dude, that's ridiculous!
"$25O? Dude, that's ridiculous!"
Ted 2
she was looking at black cooks.
"she was looking at black cooks."
Ted 2
See, I'll Google Grand Canyon.
"See, I'll Google Grand Canyon."
Ted 2
Here. Look, it says, Did you mean black cocks?
"Here. Look, it says, Did you mean black cocks?"
Ted 2
We're gonna be closing in a few,
"We're gonna be closing in a few,"
Ted 2
but I'm going to this after-hours thing
"but I'm going to this after-hours thing"
Ted 2
at my friend's apartment, if you wanna join.
"at my friend's apartment, if you wanna join."
Ted 2
I put my cell number on there, too.
"I put my cell number on there, too."
Ted 2
I'm not gonna make that same mistake again.
"I'm not gonna make that same mistake again."
Ted 2
Jesus, Johnny, you don't got to marry Allison.
"Jesus, Johnny, you don't got to marry Allison."
Ted 2
Wish I could help you, but we're closing.
"Wish I could help you, but we're closing."
Ted 2
Come on, one drink and I promise I won't tell anybody
"Come on, one drink and I promise I won't tell anybody"
Ted 2
Sorry, my mistake.
"Sorry, my mistake."
Ted 2
That's right.
"That's right."
Ted 2
Uh, I was able to sniff that out, yeah.
"Uh, I was able to sniff that out, yeah."
Ted 2
And, uh, I won't be followed?
"And, uh, I won't be followed?"
Ted 2
Uh, no, that's... That's not in our budget here.
"Uh, no, that's... That's not in our budget here."
Ted 2
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Ted 2
I think you'd make an awesome mom.
"I think you'd make an awesome mom."
Ted 2
(DISTANT MOANING)
"(DISTANT MOANING)"
Ted 2
(MOANING INTENSIFIES)
"(MOANING INTENSIFIES)"
Ted 2
on a pile of raw hamburger meat
"on a pile of raw hamburger meat"
Ted 2
(FLICKING LIGHTER)
"(FLICKING LIGHTER)"
Ted 2
TED: We're a bunch of assholes who take up
"TED: We're a bunch of assholes who take up"
Ted 2
Well, yeah, that's the thing. We... We, uh... We got to find a sperm donor.
"Well, yeah, that's the thing. We... We, uh... We got to find a sperm donor."
Ted 2
(SHOUTS) What the fuck?
"(SHOUTS) What the fuck?"
Ted 2
There are literally thousands of files here!
"There are literally thousands of files here!"
Ted 2
Well, I've been meaning to clear some of that out.
"Well, I've been meaning to clear some of that out."
Ted 2
You sick bastard! Look at this! Chicks with dicks?
"You sick bastard! Look at this! Chicks with dicks?"
Ted 2
There are no chicks with dicks, Johnny! Only guys with tits!
"There are no chicks with dicks, Johnny! Only guys with tits!"
Ted 2
because you are spiraling out of control here.
"because you are spiraling out of control here."
Ted 2
The next chick you meet, you are getting back in the game.
"The next chick you meet, you are getting back in the game."
Ted 2
TED: Can't believe it. That son of a bitch!
"TED: Can't believe it. That son of a bitch!"
Ted 2
That was really selfish of him.
"That was really selfish of him."
Ted 2
God damn it!
"God damn it!"
Ted 2
Johnny, please, just help me do this. Okay?
"Johnny, please, just help me do this. Okay?"
Ted 2
(SOFTLY) Just calm down.
"(SOFTLY) Just calm down."
Ted 2
Okay. Um, I just may need a signature in case
"Okay. Um, I just may need a signature in case"
Ted 2
(CRACKUNG)
"(CRACKUNG)"
Ted 2
TED: Okay. Go, go, go!
"TED: Okay. Go, go, go!"
Ted 2
Piss off! I don't wanna get anyjizz on me!
"Piss off! I don't wanna get anyjizz on me!"
Ted 2
Two League IVIVPs, four Super Bowl rings,
"Two League IVIVPs, four Super Bowl rings,"
Ted 2
He's gonna love it. Go, go, go!
"He's gonna love it. Go, go, go!"
Ted 2
Au right.
"Au right."
Ted 2
And that's at rest.
"And that's at rest."
Ted 2
Mr. Brady, we just need a moment of your time.
"Mr. Brady, we just need a moment of your time."
Ted 2
TED: Oh, God! Ahhh!
"TED: Oh, God! Ahhh!"
Ted 2
Take your goddamn teddy bear with you!
"Take your goddamn teddy bear with you!"
Ted 2
(TED YELLS)
"(TED YELLS)"
Ted 2
Hey, Ted, let me ask you something.
"Hey, Ted, let me ask you something."
Ted 2
Just so you know, I'm totally willing to do it.
"Just so you know, I'm totally willing to do it."
Ted 2
God... (CHUCKLES)
"God... (CHUCKLES)"
Ted 2
Johnny, thank you! Thank you so much!
"Johnny, thank you! Thank you so much!"
Ted 2
(SIREN BLARING) (TIREs SCREECH)
"(SIREN BLARING) (TIREs SCREECH)"
Ted 2
Forget it. Now, look, you haven't
"Forget it. Now, look, you haven't"
Ted 2
I'm sorry, I just don't want something
"I'm sorry, I just don't want something"
Ted 2
(LAUGHS) I know, I just said your name.
"(LAUGHS) I know, I just said your name."
Ted 2
Um, do I just spit in my hand or do I get
"Um, do I just spit in my hand or do I get"
Ted 2
Oh, cool. (CHUCKLES)
"Oh, cool. (CHUCKLES)"
Ted 2
Yeah, whatever, I don't know.
"Yeah, whatever, I don't know."
Ted 2
where I'd seen you before and that's it.
"where I'd seen you before and that's it."
Ted 2
Not especially, but I love helping good people
"Not especially, but I love helping good people"
Ted 2
This is where we perform our pre-implantation genetic diagnosis.
"This is where we perform our pre-implantation genetic diagnosis."
Ted 2
Ew. I mean, awesome! (CHUCKLES)
"Ew. I mean, awesome! (CHUCKLES)"
Ted 2
No,no,no! Come on!
"No,no,no! Come on!"
Ted 2
He's beautiful. Come on! I'll trade you. Catch.
"He's beautiful. Come on! I'll trade you. Catch."
Ted 2
Oh, shit! Oh, God!
"Oh, shit! Oh, God!"
Ted 2
No! (CAMERA CLICKS)
"No! (CAMERA CLICKS)"
Ted 2
(GASPS) Oh, my God!
"(GASPS) Oh, my God!"
Ted 2
(SINGSONGY) I love you too.
"(SINGSONGY) I love you too."
Ted 2
I love you too!
"I love you too!"
Ted 2
(WHISPERING) Pretty soon, pretty soon, pretty soon.
"(WHISPERING) Pretty soon, pretty soon, pretty soon."
Ted 2
Okay.
"Okay."
Ted 2
(sHusHING)
"(sHusHING)"
Ted 2
(vvHIRRING)
"(vvHIRRING)"
Ted 2
What?
"What?"
Ted 2
This is Tami-Lyon's.
"This is Tami-Lyon's."
Ted 2
I don't know. But it's gonna be okay.
"I don't know. But it's gonna be okay."
Ted 2
Teddy, I got a really good feeling about this.
"Teddy, I got a really good feeling about this."
Ted 2
Yeah! Yeah, and also a million kids who did nothing.
"Yeah! Yeah, and also a million kids who did nothing."
Ted 2
You know, Teddy,
"You know, Teddy,"
Ted 2
It's like the perfect family.
"It's like the perfect family."
Ted 2
Why not?
"Why not?"
Ted 2
But that is so fucked up!
"But that is so fucked up!"
Ted 2