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Clips from Matchstick Men

Movies 2003 116 min ★ 7.2/10 (147,141 ratings) 1,445 clips
Drama Crime Comedy

Credits

One, two, three.
"One, two, three."
Matchstick Men
Uh-huh.
"Uh-huh."
Matchstick Men
- Well, congratulations. - Excuse me?
"- Well, congratulations. - Excuse me?"
Matchstick Men
- Well, you have now. - Oh, my God.
"- Well, you have now. - Oh, my God."
Matchstick Men
- Are you kidding? - No, it's confirmed.
"- Are you kidding? - No, it's confirmed."
Matchstick Men
- Do you read the papers or watch TV? - Sometimes, yeah.
"- Do you read the papers or watch TV? - Sometimes, yeah."
Matchstick Men
The government is gonna make you pay a tax on the prize.
"The government is gonna make you pay a tax on the prize."
Matchstick Men
- Yeah. - And then I get the trip to Paris?
"- Yeah. - And then I get the trip to Paris?"
Matchstick Men
- Good morning. - Who says so?
"- Good morning. - Who says so?"
Matchstick Men
Irene Fisk. She wants to talk to her husband first.
"Irene Fisk. She wants to talk to her husband first."
Matchstick Men
...you have five grandkids? Wow.
"...you have five grandkids? Wow."
Matchstick Men
Well, that's wonderful.
"Well, that's wonderful."
Matchstick Men
Let me confirm your address for our courier service.
"Let me confirm your address for our courier service."
Matchstick Men
Any thoughts on lunch?
"Any thoughts on lunch?"
Matchstick Men
Spicy calamari?
"Spicy calamari?"
Matchstick Men
- Can I help you? - Carolyn Schaffer?
"- Can I help you? - Carolyn Schaffer?"
Matchstick Men
- Yes. - I'm Agent Kellaway. This is Agent Cole.
"- Yes. - I'm Agent Kellaway. This is Agent Cole."
Matchstick Men
Mrs. Schaffer, can you tell us exactly what the man said on the phone?
"Mrs. Schaffer, can you tell us exactly what the man said on the phone?"
Matchstick Men
There'd be a drawing next week, and I'd win...
"There'd be a drawing next week, and I'd win..."
Matchstick Men
...either a Chevy Blazer, a diamond necklace...
"...either a Chevy Blazer, a diamond necklace..."
Matchstick Men
...or a trip to Italy or France. I don't remember.
"...or a trip to Italy or France. I don't remember."
Matchstick Men
- Jesus, Carolyn. - I wanted to surprise you.
"- Jesus, Carolyn. - I wanted to surprise you."
Matchstick Men
I'm sorry, you've been the victim of fraud.
"I'm sorry, you've been the victim of fraud."
Matchstick Men
- Really? - Yeah.
"- Really? - Yeah."
Matchstick Men
But we'd need a signed clearance from you...
"But we'd need a signed clearance from you..."
Matchstick Men
Here we go.
"Here we go."
Matchstick Men
Okay.
"Okay."
Matchstick Men
All we need is the name of your bank...
"All we need is the name of your bank..."
Matchstick Men
- Any luck, these guys were amateurs... - He all right?
"- Any luck, these guys were amateurs... - He all right?"
Matchstick Men
There you go.
"There you go."
Matchstick Men
- You all right? - He's fine.
"- You all right? - He's fine."
Matchstick Men
- Would you like some water? - Everything's fine.
"- Would you like some water? - Everything's fine."
Matchstick Men
Thank you for coming.
"Thank you for coming."
Matchstick Men
- They left the door open. It was bitchen! - It's just an open door, Roy.
"- They left the door open. It was bitchen! - It's just an open door, Roy."
Matchstick Men
Just don't say it.
"Just don't say it."
Matchstick Men
Okay.
"Okay."
Matchstick Men
- Hi. - Hi.
"- Hi. - Hi."
Matchstick Men
Mmm.
"Mmm."
Matchstick Men
Mmm. Hi, this is Roy Waller calling for Dr. Mancuso.
"Mmm. Hi, this is Roy Waller calling for Dr. Mancuso."
Matchstick Men
- He moved. - What?
"- He moved. - What?"
Matchstick Men
Give me a contact... Hello? Hello?
"Give me a contact... Hello? Hello?"
Matchstick Men
It's my spleen.
"It's my spleen."
Matchstick Men
I've been watching Univision all night, and all they speak is Spanish.
"I've been watching Univision all night, and all they speak is Spanish."
Matchstick Men
But seriously, I want to talk to you because I think I've developed a rash.
"But seriously, I want to talk to you because I think I've developed a rash."
Matchstick Men
Come on, man. Come on, you're killing me.
"Come on, man. Come on, you're killing me."
Matchstick Men
All right, that's it. I'm coming over.
"All right, that's it. I'm coming over."
Matchstick Men
Roy? Okay, I see that.
"Roy? Okay, I see that."
Matchstick Men
I see... I saw you. I know you're there.
"I see... I saw you. I know you're there."
Matchstick Men
I'm taking the shoes off. Give me a break over here.
"I'm taking the shoes off. Give me a break over here."
Matchstick Men
Okay.
"Okay."
Matchstick Men
I spilled them down the drain by accident.
"I spilled them down the drain by accident."
Matchstick Men
- You gotta be shitting me. - That's what I said.
"- You gotta be shitting me. - That's what I said."
Matchstick Men
I'm gonna make a couple of calls. My aunt saw this shrink after her divorce.
"I'm gonna make a couple of calls. My aunt saw this shrink after her divorce."
Matchstick Men
- You were getting them illegally? - Yes, I was. So what?
"- You were getting them illegally? - Yes, I was. So what?"
Matchstick Men
That's great. Can you get me some more of them?
"That's great. Can you get me some more of them?"
Matchstick Men
Would you like to tell me what's been bothering you?
"Would you like to tell me what's been bothering you?"
Matchstick Men
Incorrectly. But, yes.
"Incorrectly. But, yes."
Matchstick Men
Heather.
"Heather."
Matchstick Men
- Were you married? - Uh-huh.
"- Were you married? - Uh-huh."
Matchstick Men
Kids?
"Kids?"
Matchstick Men
She left me with a black eye, which I gave her, and a bun in the oven...
"She left me with a black eye, which I gave her, and a bun in the oven..."
Matchstick Men
And the whole time I was watching my carpet, I was worrying I might vomit.
"And the whole time I was watching my carpet, I was worrying I might vomit."
Matchstick Men
You want to work soon?
"You want to work soon?"
Matchstick Men
- Name, sir? - Fenton, Heather.
"- Name, sir? - Fenton, Heather."
Matchstick Men
- Can you spell that? - F-E-N...
"- Can you spell that? - F-E-N..."
Matchstick Men
Yeah. Do you think about her much?
"Yeah. Do you think about her much?"
Matchstick Men
He'd be 14.
"He'd be 14."
Matchstick Men
...just to find out, you know...
"...just to find out, you know..."
Matchstick Men
- Angela? - You Roy?
"- Angela? - You Roy?"
Matchstick Men
Then she said you might as well be.
"Then she said you might as well be."
Matchstick Men
Yeah, that's what the doctor said on the phone.
"Yeah, that's what the doctor said on the phone."
Matchstick Men
It's just I'd feel better somewhere indoors.
"It's just I'd feel better somewhere indoors."
Matchstick Men
It's okay. I used to do it too.
"It's okay. I used to do it too."
Matchstick Men
Thought you weren't hungry.
"Thought you weren't hungry."
Matchstick Men
What? What was that word you used? Shit?
"What? What was that word you used? Shit?"
Matchstick Men
Hey, that...
"Hey, that..."
Matchstick Men
- I just... I have things a certain way. - Okay.
"- I just... I have things a certain way. - Okay."
Matchstick Men
What?
"What?"
Matchstick Men
Yeah. All right. Well, I'm glad one of us is happy.
"Yeah. All right. Well, I'm glad one of us is happy."
Matchstick Men
I don't know. He's from Downey.
"I don't know. He's from Downey."
Matchstick Men
He and the mob, they're like this:
"He and the mob, they're like this:"
Matchstick Men
Hi. I'd like access to my safety deposit box, 366, please.
"Hi. I'd like access to my safety deposit box, 366, please."
Matchstick Men
Certainly, Mr. Waller.
"Certainly, Mr. Waller."
Matchstick Men
Signature and pass code, please.
"Signature and pass code, please."
Matchstick Men
Nah.
"Nah."
Matchstick Men
I gotta go.
"I gotta go."
Matchstick Men
Took the bus. Think I could come in a sec?
"Took the bus. Think I could come in a sec?"
Matchstick Men
- Nice! - One, two, three.
"- Nice! - One, two, three."
Matchstick Men
It's nice, your place.
"It's nice, your place."
Matchstick Men
Could you watch the carpet, please?
"Could you watch the carpet, please?"
Matchstick Men
Could you please take your shoes off?
"Could you please take your shoes off?"
Matchstick Men
I usually take off for a day or two to let her calm down.
"I usually take off for a day or two to let her calm down."
Matchstick Men
- Take off? - Normally, I go to Carrie's...
"- Take off? - Normally, I go to Carrie's..."
Matchstick Men
- Do you wear those to read? - What?
"- Do you wear those to read? - What?"
Matchstick Men
Oh, no, these are for...
"Oh, no, these are for..."
Matchstick Men
Sure, I can just watch TV.
"Sure, I can just watch TV."
Matchstick Men
- Like, what is it, ice cream, right? - Sure.
"- Like, what is it, ice cream, right? - Sure."
Matchstick Men
Okay.
"Okay."
Matchstick Men
Wow.
"Wow."
Matchstick Men
Over there. He missed you coming in.
"Over there. He missed you coming in."
Matchstick Men
Hey, Chuck Frechette, this is Arden...
"Hey, Chuck Frechette, this is Arden..."
Matchstick Men
Sure, Bob. I didn't mean to... Sorry. I'll be...
"Sure, Bob. I didn't mean to... Sorry. I'll be..."
Matchstick Men
- I'll see you, Bob. - I'll see you in the morning, Arden.
"- I'll see you, Bob. - I'll see you in the morning, Arden."
Matchstick Men
Roy? Why did Mom leave you?
"Roy? Why did Mom leave you?"
Matchstick Men
Well, you'd have to ask her that.
"Well, you'd have to ask her that."
Matchstick Men
That's why we got in a fight.
"That's why we got in a fight."
Matchstick Men
What's the hubbub?
"What's the hubbub?"
Matchstick Men
I made you eggs.
"I made you eggs."
Matchstick Men
Well, what was his name?
"Well, what was his name?"
Matchstick Men
Frank.
"Frank."
Matchstick Men
How come you didn't want him to see me?
"How come you didn't want him to see me?"
Matchstick Men
No.
"No."
Matchstick Men
So what if I am? So? He's my father.
"So what if I am? So? He's my father."
Matchstick Men
Well, I don't care. I don't care!
"Well, I don't care. I don't care!"
Matchstick Men
Uh...
"Uh..."
Matchstick Men
Let it out. Good, very good.
"Let it out. Good, very good."
Matchstick Men
You've got stains on your carpet.
"You've got stains on your carpet."
Matchstick Men
Is that what you were thinking about, stains on my carpet?
"Is that what you were thinking about, stains on my carpet?"
Matchstick Men
You can sit up.
"You can sit up."
Matchstick Men
Yeah, carpet stains...
"Yeah, carpet stains..."
Matchstick Men