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Clips from The Mick - The New Girl (S01E01)

"I end up in the wrong bathroom."
The Mick
"Next thing I know, I'm getting arrested"
The Mick
"for looking like a predator, which, incidentally,"
The Mick
"is why they threw out the case."
The Mick
"They profiled the mustache."
The Mick
"- Hmm. - Not a good move."
The Mick
"You should just sue Barnsdale."
The Mick
"No, I'm not suing anyone, okay?"
The Mick
"Suing is how rich white people solve their problems."
The Mick
"Yeah, but you don't have to actually sue them."
The Mick
"You could just threaten to sue them."
The Mick
"I do love threatening."
The Mick
"Hey, Sabrina, I'm so happy you wanted to come back here."
The Mick
"Yeah, well, these ribs are delicious."
The Mick
"And... I wanted to sing and show you"
The Mick
"there was nothing to be afraid of."
The Mick
"- Really? - Mm-hmm."
The Mick
"Oh, I'm so nervous for you."
The Mick
"I want to throw up and run away."
The Mick
"All right, next up, Sabrina Pemberton."
The Mick
"Watch and learn."
The Mick
"Come on up."
The Mick
"So, how long have you been in America?"
The Mick
"Since I was 12 years old."
The Mick
"Is your family out here?"
The Mick
"My family is dead."
The Mick
"- Mm. - My mother, she died of malaria."
The Mick
"So I ran away from home."
The Mick
"Then I was taken and made to be a soldier."
The Mick
"Huh."
The Mick
"They gave me a gun and forced me to execute"
The Mick
"a farmer, but my gun jammed."
The Mick
"Thank God you caught a break."
The Mick
"They made me hack him with a machete instead."
The Mick
"It was my ninth birthday."
The Mick
"Wow. That..."
The Mick
"that's just..."
The Mick
"perfect."
The Mick
"Do you mind starting from the top?"
The Mick
"Just... Record it for a friend."
The Mick
"She's been keeping it real since I was in diapers."
The Mick
"- Yeah, Alba! - Everybody show her some love! Come on!"
The Mick
"You my girl, Alba."
The Mick
"You my girl."
The Mick
"Uh."
The Mick
"Uh."
The Mick
"♪ Sicka than your average, poppa twist cabbage off instinct... ♪"
The Mick
"Easy access, huh?"
The Mick
"Mark that down as the school's first security issue."
The Mick
"- Yeah, check. - All right, I'm gonna go"
The Mick
"have a chat with that principal."
The Mick
"Safety hazards, violations, dangerous birds."
The Mick
"Anything you think we could use as a potential lawsuit."
The Mick
"Okay."
The Mick
"By the time I'm done,"
The Mick
"Ben will be prom queen."
The Mick
"using that word. Racist!"
The Mick
"How was that racist?"
The Mick
"Hey. Where you going? I thought we were friends."
The Mick
"You don't even know my name."
The Mick
"Is Mark Twain racist?"
The Mick
"Good-bye, Chip."
The Mick
"- Good-bye... you. - I mean,"
The Mick
"asking me to sanitize Biggie's art, that's racist."
The Mick
"then he wouldn't be kicking it on a yacht right now."
The Mick
"Oh, stop."
The Mick
"Shut up, Chip. You're not helping."
The Mick
"♪ At last... ♪"
The Mick
"♪ My love has come along ♪"
The Mick
"Yeah, Alba!"
The Mick
"♪ My lonely days are over ♪"
The Mick
"♪ And life is like a song... ♪"
The Mick
"♪ Yeah, yeah... ♪"
The Mick
"Molested!"
The Mick
"Just kidding."
The Mick
"there would be no one around to stop me."
The Mick
"- Get out! - Eh, fair enough."
The Mick
"You finish up this little operation."
The Mick
"I'll meet you in the hallway."
The Mick
"Oh, my God."
The Mick
"Why are you here?"
The Mick
"You no longer have a child at this school."
The Mick
"It's annoying, right? And the thing is,"
The Mick
"you could have me escorted out, but you have no security."
The Mick
"And you know what else you don't have?"
The Mick
"Security cameras. Ah!"
The Mick
"Ooh! Dark, scary room."
The Mick
"They call that a blind spot."
The Mick
"It's a real good place to catch a shiv."
The Mick
"I am simply trying to point out that my little Beth"
The Mick
"is not the problem."
The Mick
"Let's take a walk."
The Mick
"I mean, take a look around this place."
The Mick
"This school is a hotbed for predators."
The Mick
"Whoa! Hold on, who's that guy?"
The Mick
"Hi. Do you feel safe?"
The Mick
"- and not some predator. - Oh, yeah?"
The Mick
"- I've never seen that man before. - Pervert!"
The Mick
"Predator!"
The Mick
"Pedophile!"
The Mick
"Not again."
The Mick
"What kind of operation are you running here, lady?"
The Mick
"milling about, making smut films?"
The Mick
"- No. - I've got half a mind to report you."
The Mick
"No, no, no. Wait, wait."
The Mick
"Mm-hmm."
The Mick
"There's my guy. Hey,"
The Mick
"guess who's back in Barnsdale."
The Mick
"I'm thinking a five."
The Mick
"I'm not happy there."
The Mick
"What are you talking about? We love Barnsdale."
The Mick
"Can I go back to my old school?"
The Mick
"Really?"
The Mick
"I'm sorry for whatever I was doing wrong."
The Mick
"Oh, buddy."
The Mick
"Hey, you didn't do anything wrong."
The Mick
"I was the problem, not you."
The Mick
"Can I still wear skirts and stuff,"
The Mick
"or will I get in trouble?"
The Mick
"You do whatever you want."
The Mick
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