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Clips from The Simpsons - The Old Man and the Key (S13E13)

"The Simpsons"
The Simpsons
"The "X" is for "Extreme. ""
The Simpsons
"Last year's MVP."
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"Hello? Hello."
The Simpsons
"What are you crying about?"
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"Dad!"
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"The home told us you were dead."
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"Hi. I'm Zelda. I put the "ass" in assisted living."
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"Holy mac..."
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"But Zelda, if you're looking for something with a big backseat"
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"That was a DWI!"
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"Fine. I'm dead."
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"Dead!"
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"Okay. Now, let's pretend that we're going for a drive."
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"Not really."
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"Next!"
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"Okay. Look at the eye chart and cover your left eye."
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"No, you can't."
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"This is the best party of my life."
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"In real life, he would die."
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"Hey, watch the movie."
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"Well, I gotta do something before the Viagra kicks in."
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"Do you have any idea what you put us through?"
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"Shut up! You don't know her! Zelda loves me!"
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"Turn that down! You call that music?"
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"No. He's gotta learn, Marge. The way my dad made me learn."
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"He is your dad."
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"Oh, Gentlemen, the new scratch-and-win tickets are out today."
The Simpsons
"Finally the shakes are working for me."
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"Pardon me, sir."
The Simpsons
"I should cut you like I cut sodium out of my diet."
The Simpsons
"Then perhaps you should be taught a lesson by us,"
The Simpsons
"Los Souvenir Jacquitos!"
The Simpsons
"Some sort of death race?"
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"That's what I would do."
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"Very well, Viejo."
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"But it's only big enough for one car."
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"Just go."
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"Then I burn with her,"
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"for I would rather die than have people not know"
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"My beard. I broke my beard."
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"I've booked us a room for the weekend in Branson, Missouri."
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"The kind where we stay home"
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"Zelda, may I offer you a lift?"
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"No!"
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"I'll always think of you as my friend without a car."
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"Yeah, it's the only way to win back Zelda."
The Simpsons
"Uh, it's actually blue wire to yellow wire."
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"Next stop, Branson, Missouri!"
The Simpsons
"Born to be wild"
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"They Fight, and Bite They Fight and Fight and Bite"
The Simpsons
"Fight, fight, fight, bite, bite, bite The Itchy and Scratchy Show"
The Simpsons
"we find Itchy at the counter of his butcher shop."
The Simpsons
"Your father's out of control."
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"Oh, sure, when he does something bad, he's my father."
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"We've gotta go after them!"
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"But how?"
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"Oh! That was lucky."
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"That one means good vittles. Sexy daughter."
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"Mass hobo grave in cellar."
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"No dice."
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"Okay, keep an eye peeled for Zelda."
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"Come on, boy. After them!"
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"No, they're right here in Branson"
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"So sit back, relax And watch our revue"
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"In Soviet Union"
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"Revue watches you"
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"Mom, there's no gambling in Branson."
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"It was designed as a family destination."
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"Bet you they're not. Three to one. How much you got?"
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"Mom, you're hurting me."
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"It's Captain Bringdown and The Buzzkillers."
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"If you're gonna make your move, you better do it quick."
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"Huh?"
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"Zelda, will you come up here?"
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"Hoochie, hoochie, hoochie!"
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"Hoochie, hoochie, hoochie!"
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"Son, can you forgive an old fool?"
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"Honey, I've got some bad news for you."
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"Not now, Marge. I'm waiting for the new XFL season!"
The Simpsons
"Who will win this year's million-dollar game?"
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"Who? Who?"
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"Honey."
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"There is no XFL this year."
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"The league folded."
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"Who told you?"
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"He sweeps up toenails at the beauty parlor."
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"This is the Springfield Retirement Castle."
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"Abraham Simpson."
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"Complications of a medical nature."
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"The nursing home was not responsible."
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"And he never even lived to be a vegetable."
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"I'm really gonna miss him."
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"It's Grampa's smell."
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"Oh, my dad never even knew how I felt about him."
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"But you were very open with your feelings."
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"Sure, I said I loved him, but never that I was in love with him."
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"You don't have to live here."
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"Grampa! Grampa!"
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"Stop it! You're stretching out my skin."
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"What's got into you punks?"
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"So much for Mr. I Can Button My Own Shirt."
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"We've got what people never get. A second chance."
The Simpsons
"Yeah, there's so many things we can..."
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"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll call you or send you some fruit."
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"Look, Grampa. You're already getting a new neighbor."
The Simpsons
"Abe Simpson's the name, and now that you're here,"
The Simpsons
"I'm changing my instructions to "do resuscitate. ""
The Simpsons
"Now, let me show you around. Over there are the preppies..."
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"And over there's the comatose, and the cool comatose."
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"Hey, who's the tall drink of Maalox?"
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"Are you young ladies here to visit your mothers?"
The Simpsons
"Eh, that's Zack. He's as smooth as a 50-year-old behind."
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"Who wants to go get some sweet corn in my minivan?"
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"It's got a wheelchair lift."
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"If you can drive, they're all over you."
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"I used to drive, but they pulled my license."
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"Is this the Dairy Queen?"
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"and a lot of gas, I'm your man."
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"Oh!"
The Simpsons
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