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Clips from The Brady Bunch - The Not-So-Ugly Duckling (S02E02)

"Are you kidding?"
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"Why would I be interested in him?"
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"He's only a child, and I'm a woman."
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"He's not a child. He's 12."
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"You're being ridiculous."
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"All I did was walk in the room and pick up my book."
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"Well, if that's all,"
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"why did his eyes nearly"
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"pop out of his head?"
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"I can't help it if his eyes popped."
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"You were trying to steal my boyfriend, and you know it."
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"I just came in for my book."
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"Then why did he drool over you,"
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"and pay no attention to me?"
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"Jan, if boys don't find you attractive,"
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"don't blame it on me."
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"Marcia, what's going on between you and Jan?"
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"I don't know, Mom."
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"She came in here accusing me"
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"of stealing her boyfriend."
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"Imagine! A mature person like me"
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"trying to steal a 12-year-old."
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"Well..."
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"you must have done something, honey."
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"Not a thing. Honest."
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"Yesterday, when she was studying with Clark,"
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"and I went in to get my book, I said hi."
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"Now, what's wrong with that?"
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"Well, that all depends on how you said it."
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"Hi, or... Hi."
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"Mom, it's nothing more than sibling rivalry."
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"Gee, I'm glad you cleared that up."
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"As long as you're smart enough to know what it means,"
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"let's see if you're smart enough to help put a stop to it."
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"I'll do everything I can, but it's really up to Jan."
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"Yeah?"
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"Yeah. What do you want?"
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"I need some advice."
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"Okay."
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"Shoot."
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"It's about boys."
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"knew all about us poor, dumb guys."
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"Well, this is for a friend of mine."
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"See, she met this real cute guy,"
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"and everything was groovy."
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"Until then, all of a sudden, he lost interest."
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"Why would a guy do this to my friend?"
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"Just lose interest?"
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"Maybe she's using the wrong kind of toothpaste."
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"I'm serious, Greg."
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"Well, how should I know?"
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"The guy probably found something about her he didn't like."
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"Such as what?"
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"Maybe she's got a face"
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"that would scare snakes."
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"She has not."
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"Is she too fat?"
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"No."
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"Too thin?"
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"No."
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"Well, then it's got to be her crummy face."
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"Just some unfortunate girl."
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"Thanks, Greg."
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"Yuck!"
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"It's my crummy face."
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"Greg was right."
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"Rotten freckles."
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"Cinnamon cookies!"
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"They're Jan's favorites."
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"Thought I'd make some to cheer her up."
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"Well, I guess a shattered romance"
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"can be pretty rough at that age."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"I remember when I was ten or 11,"
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"Had three teeth missing in front."
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"You or the girl?"
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"The girl."
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"Yeah... she was all gums, but I loved her."
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"Threw me over for a kid who could whistle"
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"through his nose."
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"Oh, Mike."
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"I once had an offer of marriage when I was seven."
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"Looking back, I should've taken it."
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"Mom?"
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"Can I go to the store, please?"
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"Well, don't be long, dear."
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"Dinner's almost ready."
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"Who can eat?"
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"I wish there was something we could do"
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"to make her feel better."
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"Maybe we could give her"
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"some of her birthday presents in advance."
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"Hey, better than that..."
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"How about a surprise birthday party?"
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"Wonderful."
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"A party's a sure cure for the blues."
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"With balloons and paper streamers"
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"and cake and ice cream?"
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"The works!"
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"Now, this is a very important meeting."
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"High-level, top-secret stuff."
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"That's the whole point."
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"for Saturday night."
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"A surprise party?"
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"Neato."
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"What do we do?"
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"Just tell us."
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"Cindy, you're in charge"
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"of putting candles on the birthday cake."
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"You know how many to put on?"
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"Sure. I can even count high enough"
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"to put candles on your cake."
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"That many candles would be against the fire laws."
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"Marcia, you have the honor of baking the cake."
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"Oh, great. Let's see..."
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"I'll bake a double chiffon..."
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"orange, three-layer, upside-down,"
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"with pink frosting and... peppermint sherbet filling."
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"Bobby, you're in charge of blowing up the balloons."
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"A good job for him... He's a windbag."
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