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Clips from Scrubs - His Story IV (S06E06)

"J.D.: Everyone had gathered because today"
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"ALL: Back! Carla! Back!"
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"Done."
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"Pickle, I'm sorry."
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"She's only been gone six days."
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"And back to insulting you! She's been gone six weeks, Bobbo."
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"J.D.: Dr. Cox was right. This year Dr. Kelso had gotten a little lazy."
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"Thanks, I'll look into it."
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"Or how he found a way to eliminate any face time with the patients."
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"Debbie is actually my name."
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"Then, out of fairness to the others, you will be Slagathor."
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"(GROANING)"
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"KELS O: I actually don't mind that goofy bastard."
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"Ker-blam-o!"
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"and hello, nappy-nap."
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"I understand that since your head wound"
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"Head wound?"
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"It doesn't matter, son."
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"You must have had your share of beat-downs."
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"An I.E.D. Got our transport vehicle."
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"Well played, Bobby."
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"Oh, please, Laverne, global warming?"
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"Salt?"
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"Cracked black pepper?"
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"Yep, Iraq is just the type of divisive subject that would spread around"
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"All for nothing?"
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"and here I thought it was to root out terrorists."
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"when they're out in public."
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"The war in Iraq? Try the war to see rack."
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"They want to kill you."
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"You guys, in case I find an apartment I like,"
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"the neo-conservative conspiracy to perpetuate American cultural"
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"Can you believe he gave the pizza delivery guy a bone as a tip?"
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"He's always thinkin' on his feet."
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"JANITOR: Typical Dorian,"
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"Fallujah. And, oh, here's my unit when we're playing poker."
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"And... Whoa, this is a picture of my unit."
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"I was gonna send it to my girlfriend, but she broke up with me."
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"I like this kid, he gets me."
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"You can crack wise all you want,"
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"- Hear, hear! - Right!"
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"You know what? I don't need to be ashamed of this anymore."
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"Me, too!"
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"(MOANING)"
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"- I hate that bitch. - Oh!"
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"KELS O: Ot dog! 2: 15, time to vamoose."
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"Dr. Kelso, I have a patient who has a mild fever,"
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"balls can be dropped."
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"I said that's enough!"
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"and still matter? Let me see if I can make this real clear for you."
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"If this hospital were a human body, you'd be the appendix,"
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"Excuse us, we're gonna talk it out over here."
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"Well, you got what you asked for, Bob. They don't need you."
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"Always trying to be in the game."
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"Be like this kid's sergeant and get back in the game,"
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"Hey, buddy, you find an apartment yet?"
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"You know what's so messed up?"
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"Hey, I gotta go."
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"All right, listen up, people. I am here to roll up my sleeves"
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"I need to TiVo Crossing Over with John Edward."
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"So, nobody needs any help?"
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"B.P.'s falling."
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"Way to go, Bob, way to go. Attaboy!"
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"- Yay! - Yeah!"
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"Gosh, there seems to be a lot of high-volume,"
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"I think I'll join in."
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"Employee discount!"
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"and cover Jessica's shift this weekend?"
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"Oh, Nurse Kelso, purple's not your color."
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"Please put on a bra, you're distracting some of the other doctors."
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"Let him joke. You look spiffy and you're doing great."
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"Girl, just humor him. He'll be out of here eventually."
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"and the quote on this coffee cup attributed to Dr. Reid..."
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"'My bajingo's on fire.' May, 2004."
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"And what bothers me about it is that I know this is going on,"
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"All right, Bob, time to bring it home."
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"Everyone pays full price. Except for me, of course."
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"That oughta do it."
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"I can't believe him!"
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"J.D.: Since I'd spent the whole afternoon researching the war in Iraq,"
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"I couldn't wait to dive right into the spirited debate."
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"(ALL MUTTERING)"
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"Okay. In my opinion,"
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"Some of us are meant to be loved,"
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"and some of us, unfortunately, are meant to be hated."
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"Good night, minions, Slagathor."
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"For Dr. Kelso, he wouldn't have it any other way."
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"was Carla's first day back since she had the baby."
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"She's coming! This is not a drill! Repeat, this is not a drill!"
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"Remember, one group says, Welcome, one group says, Back,"
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"one group says, Carla. Okay, get ready. Let's go!"
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"Fine, it was a drill, but I just want us to be ready."
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"You gotta be kidding me!"
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"- Hey, everyone! - Okay, let's hear it!"
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"- It's okay, baby. - No, it's not okay."
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"Hey, everyone."
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"ALL: Welcome! Back! Pickle!"
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"Who the hell came up with pickle?"
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"I need this."
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"Actually, babe, I'm just heading back home."
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"It turns out my maternity leave doesn't end until next week."
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"What is all this fuss about Nurse Turkleton returning?"
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"She's been gone six weeks, Bobbo, but wait, before I make you look like"
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"a complete idiot, we'd all like to thank you for setting up the new employee"
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"- discount at the coffee dump. Gang? - ALL: Cheers!"
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"Pickle!"
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"Stop. If it had taken any effort, I wouldn't have done it,"
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"and I mean that. I really do."
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"The six days that you were referring to are the six days that you actually"
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"worked this month."
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"There was the way he handled requests."
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"- Welcome to Sacred Heart, Mr... - TED: Hartely."
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"Enjoy your stay here."
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"Ted, you half-wit! Don't forget the tape."
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"How does he always know?"
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"Listen up, faces. In order to save us all some time,"
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"I will call all the males Daves and all the females Debbies."
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"Daves, Debbies, Slagathor, I will be in my office."
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"If you need anything, feel free to bother Dorian."
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"I always wondered what he did in his office all day."
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