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Clips from Silicon Valley - Bachman's Earning's Over-Ride (S03E03)

"If I have approval of any buyer,"
Silicon Valley
"and I am the only buyer I approve,"
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"then I can set my own price."
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"So I asked Mr. Bachman for a thorough accounting of his debts, uh,"
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"which ran to approximately $713,000."
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"And how much did you give him?"
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"$713,000."
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"Jesus. So, he walked away with nothing."
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"Uh, yes. And so as I said,"
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"you're the one who accepted these terms,"
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"so you're the one who enabled this action on my part."
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"All credit goes to you, Richard. Excuse me."
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"Dick. Dick Costolo. One moment."
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"I need to speak with you."
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"It's expensive to re-plant."
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"No. The vines are bad. The soil is bad."
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"Excuse me, what is that?"
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"That's pesca-pescatarian."
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"- It's fish that-- - Actually, just bring me one of those."
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"- Me, too. - Yeah, waiter, I'll take on, too."
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"- I want one. - I want one of those also."
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"Wait, hey, hey, I'd like that also."
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"Excuse me, if he's having one, I want one."
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"You're getting that, I want it, too. Excuse me!"
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"Hey, I thought you were at the dinner."
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"I left."
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"Erlich never showed. Is he here?"
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"Yeah. He's hiding in the backyard."
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"- Why? - Have you not seen the article?"
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"No."
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"Is Erlich Bachman the Dumbest Man in Tech?"
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"What the hell is this? I never sent anything out."
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"- Who did they talk to? - Erlich."
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"This is CJ's blog. He outed himself to protect Pied Piper."
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"This is way harsher than anything you ever wrote."
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"Plus, there's the visual component."
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"Speaking of... where's your jacket, Jared?"
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"That's quite a piece."
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"Informative. Thorough."
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"You certainly know how to make an impact."
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"And I guess I don't have to worry about any rumors coming out."
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"Those are handled."
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"You know, Erlich, uh, Pied Piper still needs a head of PR."
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"You seem to be well-versed in media outreach."
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"And by your own admission in that article,"
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"your head is-- what did you say?"
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"--so far up your own ass you can see the future."
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"And that could be useful..."
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"if we need a pre-cog..."
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"in a way?"
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"Uh, I don't know if you're available, so..."
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"Are you offering me a job?"
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"Well, we have a good option package."
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"Um, it won't be quite what you had, but it's something."
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"That's very generous."
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"So things could go back to the way they were before."
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"Well, no. No. Not exactly the way they were."
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"No, no. Uh, well, this would be an actual job"
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"and you would have responsibilities."
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"Would this job have a title?"
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"Something, say, Chief Evangelism Officer?"
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"So, CEO?"
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"- Oh, my goodness! - What the fuck was that?"
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"Richard."
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"The Pied Piper app just got accepted to the Hooli store."
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"What? Holy shit."
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"Gavin Belson just presented us with his bare buttocks in submission."
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"We beat him. I don't-- I don't hug. No."
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"Um, okay, hey, look, uh, time to issue your first press release, right?"
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"It's very late, Richard, and I'm very high."
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"Erlich, I don't care."
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"You have to do it, okay? Now."
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"- It's your job. - Okay."
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"- All right. - Oh!"
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"CJ Cantwell. Erlich Bachman."
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"The reason I'm calling has absolutely nothing to do"
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"whatsoever with the fact that I own half of your blog"
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"and everything to do with the fact that"
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"I was just named Chief Evangelism Officer of Pied Piper."
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"Feel free to abbreviate that, whatever acronym is most economical."
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"And I have a story."
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"Well, if it's anything like this last one, I am all for it."
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"I am getting so many paid views on your tell-all."
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"Everyone in the Valley is reading it."
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"Well, that's good... for you..."
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"at my expense, I guess."
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"Anyway, I had no choice."
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"As you said, it was going to come out one way or another."
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"Why? No one knew about any of it until you told me."
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"What do you mean? You said that you had heard from a bunch of people"
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"that there are all these rumors about ugly shit going down at Pied Piper."
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"That's literally the only reason that I told you any of this."
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"What? Oh, yeah, three different people told me"
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"that Pied Piper had the ugliest jackets they'd ever seen."
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"Jackets?"
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"I was going to do, like, a whole swag fail thing, you know."
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"That could have been cool, no?"
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"Who the fuck cares about jackets?"
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"♪ Hey, come on, babe ♪"
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"♪ Follow me ♪"
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"♪ I'm the Pied Piper ♪"
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"♪ Follow me, I'm the Pied Piper ♪"
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"♪ And I'll show you where it's at ♪"
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"♪ Come on, babe can't you see? ♪"
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"♪ I'm the Pied Piper, trust in me ♪"
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"♪ I'm the Pied Piper ♪"
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"♪ And I'll show you where it's at ♪"
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"♪ Girl, don't be scared to move ♪"
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"♪ Hey, babe, what are you tryin' to prove? ♪"
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"♪ It ain't true that your life has kicked you ♪"
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"♪ It's your mind and that's all that's trickin' you ♪"
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"♪ So step in line ♪"
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"♪ Hey, come on, babe, follow me ♪"
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"♪ I'm the Pied Piper, follow me ♪"
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"♪ I'm the Pied Piper ♪"
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"♪ And I'll show you where it's at ♪"
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"♪ Come on, babe, can't you see? ♪"
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"♪ Come on, babe, follow me ♪"
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