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Clips from The Office - Casino Night (S02E02)

"It's okay."
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"Hey. Hey, how's it going?"
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"Good, especially after I took all your money in poker."
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"About when you want to give me more of your money?"
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"I..."
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"I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship."
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"So, thanks. Okay. Thanks for coming."
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"She's a good boss."
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"She seems really nice. Oh, she's great."
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"Love triangle. Drama."
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"The hero got the girl."
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"and he got the girl that he buys real estate from."
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"Yeah, I think I am."
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"Tonight the Scranton Business Park is having Casino Night"
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"and we are converting our warehouse"
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"And I know it's illegal in Pennsylvania,"
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"but it's for charity."
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"And I consider myself a great philanderer."
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"I can look in the mirror and say,"
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"Michael, because of you, some little kid in the Congo"
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"has a belly full of rice this evening."
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"Makes you feel good."
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"It's a nice tux."
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"So, what's the deal? We gotta pay for our own drinks?"
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"That's lame. Come on, it'll be fun,"
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"and besides, I'm a roulette expert."
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"I can always kind of win at roulette."
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"Yeah. How would you do that?"
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"Mind control."
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"Ever since I was a little kid, like, eight or nine,"
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"I don't believe you. Continue."
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"like I could make something shake"
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"or I could make a marble fall off the counter."
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"You know, just little things."
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"Why don't you move that coat rack?"
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"Excuse me, everyone!"
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"Attention in the office, please."
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"Jim is about to prove his telekinetic powers"
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"and he needs absolute silence."
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"Oh, my God."
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"It's more of a David-and-Goliath thing. Yeah, but..."
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"Well, the fact of the matter is"
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"that your branch is currently number four"
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"of the five branches that I oversee."
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"Top 80%!"
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"Michael? Yeah?"
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"Jan, listen, I promise that I will kick it up a notch. Bam!"
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"and I think everyone would love to see their fearless leader here."
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"I am, but you are the Eva Peron to my Cesar Chavez."
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"Oh, come on. Come on. I think so, Michael..."
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"You know, it'd be fun."
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"The romance thing is sort of on hold for the time being,"
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"Tonight's event is to benefit the Boy Scouts of America."
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"Well, Oscar, if you don't like it,"
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"then you should concentrate on winning."
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"Because the person at the end of the evening with the highest chip count"
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"compliments of Vance Refrigeration."
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"Yes. So,"
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"I, for example, am playing for Comic Relief."
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"That doesn't exist anymore."
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"Comedy's very much alive, as are homeless people."
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"You have to pick an approved, non-profit organization."
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"Something with animals."
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"Or people."
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"And he gave his wife the biggest diamond ring."
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"Why don't we just deal drugs or prostitute ourselves,"
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"and donate that money to charity?"
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"We, at the end of the night,"
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"are going to give the check"
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"and it's in our dangerous warehouse"
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"and it's a school night..."
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"And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know, is that enough?"
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"Should I keep going?"
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"Why are you the way that you are?"
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"you make it not that way."
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"Okay, you know what?"
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"since apparently it doesn't exist."
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"I think you mean the aid to Afghanistan."
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"No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS."
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"Afghani."
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"What? Afghani."
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"That's a dog. No, that's Afghan."
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"That's a shawl."
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"Humans with AIDS. Who has AIDS?"
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"Guys, the Afghanistananies."
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"AIDS is not funny."
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"JFK, AIDS, the Holocaust."
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"It's one of my dreams."
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"They're wedding bands. Oh."
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"Roy was supposed to pick the band,"
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"Wait, wait, where you going?"
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"I mean, even if you don't hire a band,"
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"you still have to watch the bands."
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"And, yes, they're all probably very bad"
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"There's a KISS cover band in here."
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"Let's do it."
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"I'm pretty happy these days."
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"Well, you know."
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"I have no future here."
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"Mike, I am not having fire-eaters in a paper warehouse."
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"There are fire-eaters all over the place."
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"Except my warehouse."
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"and Dunder Mifflin is four years into a seven-year lease."
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"Why are you here?"
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"When Darryl was coming, you said you wanted me here for protection."
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"Not."
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"I said, not that."
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"We just have a lot of stuff down there that could be stolen."
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"That's ironic. What?"
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"That you are afraid."
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"Why? 'Cause I'm from the hood?"
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"Dinkin flicka."
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"Dinkin flicka."
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"I taught Mike some phrases"
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"Going mach five. Dinkin flicka."
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"You know, things us Negroes say."
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"Give me some."
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"I don't know how you're gonna decide."
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"They are all extremely good."
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"Your mom would love that."
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