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Clips from Louie (2010) - Pamela, Pt. 1 (S04E04)

So, I'll watch your girls, go do your shows.

"So, I'll watch your girls, go do your shows."

Louie (2010)

Are you being serious?

"Are you being serious?"

Louie (2010)

I don't give a shit who he is.

"I don't give a shit who he is."

Louie (2010)

He stole from us and now he's out there working?

"He stole from us and now he's out there working?"

Louie (2010)

That's not gonna fly.

"That's not gonna fly."

Louie (2010)

That's what I said. I'm not tolerating it.

"That's what I said. I'm not tolerating it."

Louie (2010)

So what are you gonna do?

"So what are you gonna do?"

Louie (2010)

He's... dead, that's what I'm doing.

"He's... dead, that's what I'm doing."

Louie (2010)

You wanna go that way?

"You wanna go that way?"

Louie (2010)

Yeah, I wanna go that way.

"Yeah, I wanna go that way."

Louie (2010)

He's dead.

"He's dead."

Louie (2010)

Who do you wanna... I'll do it myself.

"Who do you wanna... I'll do it myself."

Louie (2010)

Meet me there at 12:00 and, uh,

"Meet me there at 12:00 and, uh,"

Louie (2010)

Your face! Shut up, shut up, Jesus!

"Your face! Shut up, shut up, Jesus!"

Louie (2010)

Oh!

"Oh!"

Louie (2010)

How many people here... okay, by applause,

"How many people here... okay, by applause,"

Louie (2010)

think that you are going... if you're going to heaven,

"think that you are going... if you're going to heaven,"

Louie (2010)

applaud if you think you're going to heaven, anybody?

"applaud if you think you're going to heaven, anybody?"

Louie (2010)

Couple of people... few people.

"Couple of people... few people."

Louie (2010)

Yeah, you think you're going to heaven?

"Yeah, you think you're going to heaven?"

Louie (2010)

How old, how old are you?

"How old, how old are you?"

Louie (2010)

28. You're 28

"28. You're 28"

Louie (2010)

and already... you're a lock for heaven,

"and already... you're a lock for heaven,"

Louie (2010)

You've done enough good in your ten adult years

"You've done enough good in your ten adult years"

Louie (2010)

Oh, no, that's... well, enjoy it.

"Oh, no, that's... well, enjoy it."

Louie (2010)

I think there may be a God

"I think there may be a God"

Louie (2010)

I think that's the best news you're gonna get.

"I think that's the best news you're gonna get."

Louie (2010)

And He's like, "Yup."

"And He's like, "Yup.""

Louie (2010)

And you're like, "Where's heaven?"

"And you're like, "Where's heaven?""

Louie (2010)

And He's like, "I don't know who told you that shit.

"And He's like, "I don't know who told you that shit."

Louie (2010)

"That's crazy.

""That's crazy."

Louie (2010)

"What, you think I made a whole universe

""What, you think I made a whole universe"

Louie (2010)

How much do you want from me?!"

"How much do you want from me?!""

Louie (2010)

"Just stand in this room."

""Just stand in this room.""

Louie (2010)

And what did He even do?

"And what did He even do?"

Louie (2010)

The "Back to the Future" movies, uh, He worked on those.

"The "Back to the Future" movies, uh, He worked on those."

Louie (2010)

Otherwise, He's been pretty much the same.

"Otherwise, He's been pretty much the same."

Louie (2010)

I mean, you could say there is a God if you believe in it.

"I mean, you could say there is a God if you believe in it."

Louie (2010)

That's... you could just get to say it 'cause you believe it.

"That's... you could just get to say it 'cause you believe it."

Louie (2010)

You can't argue with somebody's beliefs.

"You can't argue with somebody's beliefs."

Louie (2010)

"I believe in God."

""I believe in God.""

Louie (2010)

"No, you don't."

""No, you don't.""

Louie (2010)

"Yes."

""Yes.""

Louie (2010)

I mean, it's faith, it's not science, it's faith.

"I mean, it's faith, it's not science, it's faith."

Louie (2010)

I envy people who have faith,

"I envy people who have faith,"

Louie (2010)

that wake up in the morning and there He is.

"that wake up in the morning and there He is."

Louie (2010)

They're like, "Ooh, hi!

"They're like, "Ooh, hi!"

Louie (2010)

That's so nice that you came again today."

"That's so nice that you came again today.""

Louie (2010)

He's always there.

"He's always there."

Louie (2010)

It's just my bad breath and my garlic penis.

"It's just my bad breath and my garlic penis."

Louie (2010)

all right, let's get going.

"all right, let's get going."

Louie (2010)

But it's just...

"But it's just..."

Louie (2010)

So...

"So..."

Louie (2010)

But I don't think you can say that there's no God, uh,

"But I don't think you can say that there's no God, uh,"

Louie (2010)

'cause that takes a lot of...

"'cause that takes a lot of..."

Louie (2010)

boy, that takes a lot of confidence

"boy, that takes a lot of confidence"

Louie (2010)

to say, "Nope, there's no... definitely not a God."

"to say, "Nope, there's no... definitely not a God.""

Louie (2010)

"How do you know?"

""How do you know?""

Louie (2010)

"Just 'cause, uh...

""Just 'cause, uh..."

Louie (2010)

"doesn't seem like there's one.

""doesn't seem like there's one."

Louie (2010)

How can a human being think that they know

"How can a human being think that they know"

Louie (2010)

you can see for a hundred yards, tops.

"you can see for a hundred yards, tops."

Louie (2010)

How could you possibly know...

"How could you possibly know..."

Louie (2010)

God might be right behind you all the time, just like...

"God might be right behind you all the time, just like..."

Louie (2010)

I think if there is a God, it's probably not the one

"I think if there is a God, it's probably not the one"

Louie (2010)

the way they describe Him in the Bible.

"the way they describe Him in the Bible."

Louie (2010)

That's a weird story.

"That's a weird story."

Louie (2010)

He's our father and we're His children.

"He's our father and we're His children."

Louie (2010)

Where is our mother?

"Where is our mother?"

Louie (2010)

what did He do to our mom?

"what did He do to our mom?"

Louie (2010)

Something happened.

"Something happened."

Louie (2010)

I think, I think, God... it was, uh, if there is a God,

"I think, I think, God... it was, uh, if there is a God,"

Louie (2010)

I'd... at the... at the least, he has an ex-wife.

"I'd... at the... at the least, he has an ex-wife."

Louie (2010)

and then he's gonna take us to Mom's apartment.

"and then he's gonna take us to Mom's apartment."

Louie (2010)

"I made you a cheese sandwich."

""I made you a cheese sandwich.""

Louie (2010)

I think that, uh, I think that we made God a man

"I think that, uh, I think that we made God a man"

Louie (2010)

'Cause it doesn't make sense that men are in charge.

"'Cause it doesn't make sense that men are in charge."

Louie (2010)

Because your mom is the first person who takes care of you.

"Because your mom is the first person who takes care of you."

Louie (2010)

So how... you'd have... it would just make sense that mothers

"So how... you'd have... it would just make sense that mothers"

Louie (2010)

would run the world, and, uh, they don't... it's the opposite.

"would run the world, and, uh, they don't... it's the opposite."

Louie (2010)

So we have this weird system of, uh, you know, men being...

"So we have this weird system of, uh, you know, men being..."

Louie (2010)

It's kind of upside down.

"It's kind of upside down."

Louie (2010)

I think the reason is 'cause women were in charge

"I think the reason is 'cause women were in charge"

Louie (2010)

long time ago and they were really mean.

"long time ago and they were really mean."

Louie (2010)

They were horrible.

"They were horrible."

Louie (2010)

So we're so scared of them.

"So we're so scared of them."

Louie (2010)

And then finally, one guy punched a woman

"And then finally, one guy punched a woman"

Louie (2010)

and she was like, "Whaa!"

"and she was like, "Whaa!""

Louie (2010)

And he's like, "We can hit them!"

"And he's like, "We can hit them!""

Louie (2010)

And so now

"And so now"

Louie (2010)

we're so afraid of women, that's why...

"we're so afraid of women, that's why..."

Louie (2010)

And American history hasn't been kind to women.

"And American history hasn't been kind to women."

Louie (2010)

Women couldn't vote till 1920, how crazy is that?

"Women couldn't vote till 1920, how crazy is that?"

Louie (2010)

Do you know who the first President is...

"Do you know who the first President is..."

Louie (2010)

that women voted for?

"that women voted for?"

Louie (2010)

Uh, I have no idea, but, uh...

"Uh, I have no idea, but, uh..."

Louie (2010)

They couldn't vote till 1920

"They couldn't vote till 1920"

Louie (2010)

which means America wasn't really

"which means America wasn't really"

Louie (2010)

a democracy until 1920.

"a democracy until 1920."

Louie (2010)

You can't call it a democracy

"You can't call it a democracy"

Louie (2010)

if the whole sex of women can't vote.

"if the whole sex of women can't vote."

Louie (2010)

That's... Jimmy Carter would not sanction that election.

"That's... Jimmy Carter would not sanction that election."

Louie (2010)

That you would let zero women vote.

"That you would let zero women vote."

Louie (2010)

That's really how old it is.

"That's really how old it is."

Louie (2010)

There are people in my building older than American democracy.

"There are people in my building older than American democracy."

Louie (2010)

Women... until recently, a woman was just her husband's property.

"Women... until recently, a woman was just her husband's property."

Louie (2010)

Her name was Mrs. Fred Johnson.

"Her name was Mrs. Fred Johnson."

Louie (2010)

That's what a woman's name was.

"That's what a woman's name was."

Louie (2010)

Not even Lori Johnson.

"Not even Lori Johnson."

Louie (2010)

"Fred Johnson fucks me occasionally."

""Fred Johnson fucks me occasionally.""

Louie (2010)

"Really, that's, that's..."

""Really, that's, that's...""

Louie (2010)

Guys used to... a lot of guys still beat their wives.

"Guys used to... a lot of guys still beat their wives."

Louie (2010)

At least now it's frowned upon.

"At least now it's frowned upon."

Louie (2010)

And really, that's about it, just, hmm, just frowning.

"And really, that's about it, just, hmm, just frowning."

Louie (2010)

That's what we do about it.

"That's what we do about it."

Louie (2010)

But it was so okay to beat your wife until so recently,

"But it was so okay to beat your wife until so recently,"

Louie (2010)

that there's a kind of shirt named after it.

"that there's a kind of shirt named after it."

Louie (2010)

We have a kind of shirt

"We have a kind of shirt"

Louie (2010)

that we affectionately nicknamed

"that we affectionately nicknamed"

Louie (2010)

And everybody uses this name.

"And everybody uses this name."

Louie (2010)

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