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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S03E03)

"Um, well, I'll tell you what it's not, which is what it looks like."
Archer (2009)
"You better get your ass in that house."
Archer (2009)
"Do you wanna have sex with my wife?"
Archer (2009)
"No, I swear, this was just an extremely unlikely mishap with the barbed wire."
Archer (2009)
"Because we would be amenable to that."
Archer (2009)
"Because I wasn't sure if you knew what amenable actually meant."
Archer (2009)
"Until you followed it up with nonplussed."
Archer (2009)
"See, me and Janelle got us one of them open marriages..."
Archer (2009)
"...like in France. Oh, right, in Europe."
Archer (2009)
"And I would really like that open marriage to include..."
Archer (2009)
"...Ray's new wife. What?"
Archer (2009)
"Now, look, that's in the Bible. Really?"
Archer (2009)
"Genesis 38, verse eight. Really?"
Archer (2009)
"Even though Ray used to be a preacher, he was never big on the Old Testament."
Archer (2009)
"I could see that. So I doubt he'd wanna reciprocate."
Archer (2009)
"So I just need you to keep him busy while I have sex with his wife--"
Archer (2009)
"And then I get to have sex with-- My wife, you son of a bitch!"
Archer (2009)
"They're on the fence! Goddamn it, Archer!"
Archer (2009)
"Hang on-- Archer, shut up!"
Archer (2009)
"Ray, he was-- And then poor Janelle..."
Archer (2009)
"And you better have a talk with him!"
Archer (2009)
"I will, Randy, I'm sorry. A good, long talk."
Archer (2009)
"Like, talk for about 40, 45 minutes."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Okay, so-- Aah."
Archer (2009)
"I have never, in my entire life, been as disgusted as I am at this moment."
Archer (2009)
"What do you mean, a cyber-attack?"
Archer (2009)
"So this all needs to come out."
Archer (2009)
"The mainframe is Krieger's baby. How'd you get him to go in?"
Archer (2009)
"I told him I'd get Pam to fight in his Ultimate Bum Shockfights."
Archer (2009)
"Is it called that because..."
Archer (2009)
"...paying homeless men to fight is shocking?"
Archer (2009)
"Nope."
Archer (2009)
"Well, hello there, game-changer."
Archer (2009)
"No, it isn't!"
Archer (2009)
"It did sound too cool for the Bible."
Archer (2009)
"But why do you care? A, you're gay..."
Archer (2009)
"But Randy thinks we are!"
Archer (2009)
"I am gonna beat him like a rented mule!"
Archer (2009)
"She in there? Yeah. Where's mine at'?"
Archer (2009)
"In the woods with Ray."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, hey, do I do the face?"
Archer (2009)
"And where the hell is Sterling when I need him?"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER : You've reached Sterling Archer's voice-mail."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling, I want an update, so call me the instant you get this mess--"
Archer (2009)
"WOMAN : The voice mailbox of..."
Archer (2009)
"WOMAN: ...is full. Goodbye. ARCHER: Idiot. Ha-ha-ha."
Archer (2009)
"Come here, you skinny-legged son of a bitch!"
Archer (2009)
"Oh! Sorry. That's okay, they're not my best feature."
Archer (2009)
"What is important is that Randy gave me a Bible lesson."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah? And what did the Bible say?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, Janelle, obviously the actual scripture is open to interpretation..."
Archer (2009)
"...but what I took away from it..."
Archer (2009)
"...is that we should go in the barn..."
Archer (2009)
"...and screw our brains out on a huge pile of marijuana."
Archer (2009)
"It didn't say nothing about a rubber, did it?"
Archer (2009)
"It did not."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, no, he actually said he wanted to talk to--"
Archer (2009)
"GILLETTE: Randy!"
Archer (2009)
"GILLETTE: You white trash piece of--"
Archer (2009)
"Randy!"
Archer (2009)
"Yes. Randy. Which I probably should've mentioned earlier."
Archer (2009)
"Don't judge me. Food."
Archer (2009)
"You lucky I didn't kill you. You're lucky I didn't kill you!"
Archer (2009)
"While you were in bed with my wife! Our marriage was never consummated!"
Archer (2009)
"And I think we all know why. Carol!"
Archer (2009)
"There's plenty of blame to go around here. I don't think I deserve any, but--"
Archer (2009)
"Carol? Wha--?"
Archer (2009)
"Just like you promised Mama and Daddy you'd always take care of me."
Archer (2009)
"...before you were gallivanting around Europe!"
Archer (2009)
"It was the Olympics!"
Archer (2009)
"Which you lost! Bronze medal is not losing!"
Archer (2009)
"Then off to New York City. You can just say New York."
Archer (2009)
"To be a hoity-toity interior decorator. You can just say decorator."
Archer (2009)
"Because your job? That's a job for sissies. Oh, yeah? Well, guess what!"
Archer (2009)
"Ray is not an interior decorator."
Archer (2009)
"It is true, that's why I married him."
Archer (2009)
"What do you want, a business card?"
Archer (2009)
"Where do you think he got a bag full of assault weapons?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, y'all do live in New York City. Just New York."
Archer (2009)
"...is that why you never come back to visit?"
Archer (2009)
"Mm, also mostly."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, come on, why would you think that? Well, I found a bunch of your old diaries."
Archer (2009)
"Obviously not the one with Miss Piggy on it."
Archer (2009)
"Ah, great. And I am sorry I screwed your wife."
Archer (2009)
"Come on, that's what family's all ab--"
Archer (2009)
"Come out of there with your hands up!"
Archer (2009)
"Oh. That son of a bitch is early."
Archer (2009)
"I don't know, "sundown" sounds more colloquial than an actual--"
Archer (2009)
"If you wanna back out on me, now's probably the time to do that."
Archer (2009)
"Janelle, cover that window yonder. Archer, got a little fight in you?"
Archer (2009)
"Whoo! Ugh. Yeah, I'm pretty furious about not getting to bang Janelle."
Archer (2009)
"Plus I want to unleash the power of moonshine."
Archer (2009)
"Then grab a gun and cover that window! What should I do?"
Archer (2009)
"I got red hot pokers laying in that fire."
Archer (2009)
"If anybody gets hit, you grab one and slap iron to it."
Archer (2009)
"Awesome. And remember, it's us or them."
Archer (2009)
"Randy, I didn't want it like this! Now, come on, I tried to reason with you!"
Archer (2009)
"RANDY: Reason with this!"
Archer (2009)
"PONDER: All right, then! Light them up!"
Archer (2009)
"Ugh. I can't. I feel sick. What's happening? Do I have cancer again?"
Archer (2009)
"You drank too much! That's a thing?"
Archer (2009)
"Randy, you don't have to do this."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, please! You're gonna murder him so you can take over his dope farm!"
Archer (2009)
"...would wanna murder your brother and get his marijuana farm?"
Archer (2009)
"Farmer! And I tried to get him to quit."
Archer (2009)
"I come to him as a friend..."
Archer (2009)
"...I come to him as an elder of the church, but he wouldn't give it up."
Archer (2009)
"And so now I gotta come to him as the law. And you accuse me of planning a murder?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, you did used to pick on me a bunch. Well, I'm sorry."
Archer (2009)
"I was a dick in high school."
Archer (2009)
"But you gotta admit, you were extremely pick-on-able."
Archer (2009)
"There's nothing wrong with Capezios!"
Archer (2009)
"Mostly. Randy!"
Archer (2009)
"You almost got me and my friends killed!"
Archer (2009)
"Well, I only got to ninth grade!"
Archer (2009)
"How else was I supposed to earn a living? Digging 'seng?"
Archer (2009)
"There is a perfectly good coal mine not a half-mile from here."
Archer (2009)
"And maybe you wouldn't get rich, but at least it's an honest living."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, but it's hard."
Archer (2009)
"So is this."
Archer (2009)
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