You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from American Dad! - Dope and Faith (S03E03)

"Look at that. It's right here and it's carrying a letter."
American Dad!
"What does it say?"
American Dad!
"It says I've been admitted to Hogwarts School of Wizardry."
American Dad!
"The gypsy was right. I am special."
American Dad!
"And here I was thinking you were just a gullible idiot."
American Dad!
"- When do you start? - This Saturday. I'd better start packing."
American Dad!
"You do."
American Dad!
"I think I'm gonna take some time off from the restaurant..."
American Dad!
"...and patrol the Canadian border for old people..."
American Dad!
"Stan, I am so glad I met you."
American Dad!
"- But you get me. - And you get me."
American Dad!
"Well, I don't believe in God."
American Dad!
"- Stan. Stan, you okay? - Atheist!"
American Dad!
"Stan, relax. Why is this such a big deal?"
American Dad!
"We're both gun-loving, red-meat-eating Republicans..."
American Dad!
"...with a passion for paddleboats that sometimes borders on the erotic."
American Dad!
"...but I've just never seen any reason to believe God exists."
American Dad!
"- Lab. - Hey. Fellas."
American Dad!
"...into people's brains?"
American Dad!
"Yeah, we're gonna have to call you back."
American Dad!
"That's exactly what I'm trying to disprove."
American Dad!
"I am about to show you irrefutable proof that God exists."
American Dad!
"Just look at that sunset."
American Dad!
"If that's nothing but science, then why is it so damned romantic?"
American Dad!
"I mean, sure, they were underdogs, but that's not a miracle."
American Dad!
"Not the team. Kurt Russell."
American Dad!
"He's been working steadily for 46 years. No lull. No lull!"
American Dad!
"- Now, that's a miracle. - Well, birth is an amazing process."
American Dad!
"Okay, I'll give you that, but look at the vagina."
American Dad!
"Look at it stretch. It's so strong and resilient."
American Dad!
"That's what our troops should be wearing."
American Dad!
"Well, here we are. This is Hogwarts. The American campus."
American Dad!
"Why don't you go bang on the door, let them know you're here?"
American Dad!
"Well, have fun with your regular boring life, Roger."
American Dad!
"Okay, Steve. How special are you gonna feel..."
American Dad!
"The owl brought me my official letter of admission."
American Dad!
"- Shut up. Get your ass in here. - Oh, you're so strict."
American Dad!
"- Is he fighting invisible Dementors? - Shut up."
American Dad!
"Potions class. Did you get all this stuff from Professor Snape?"
American Dad!
"My potions partner. You're my Ron Weasley."
American Dad!
"Breathe it in. Just smell it."
American Dad!
"This rotting whale proves God exists."
American Dad!
"Even in death it provides sustenance for the Lord's other creatures."
American Dad!
"And a pretend jail for me."
American Dad!
"Squidface does horrible things to me after lights out."
American Dad!
"Enough, Stan. Why is this such a big deal?"
American Dad!
"If I can't make you believe in God, then you won't go to heaven."
American Dad!
"Thank you for proving to me God exists so I can have this awesome afterlife."
American Dad!
"You're the best friend ever."
American Dad!
"Wouldn't that be so awesome?"
American Dad!
"But the only way it can happen is if you embrace God."
American Dad!
"Brett, no. You gotta believe."
American Dad!
"Your husband is home and he's looking right at us."
American Dad!
"I know he's here."
American Dad!
"I called you over so you could talk to him."
American Dad!
"Next time, maybe don't end your text message..."
American Dad!
"...with a sideways smiley face. It's very misleading."
American Dad!
"What?"
American Dad!
"What do you do when your best friend doesn't believe in God?"
American Dad!
"Well, Stan, we're hardly best friends."
American Dad!
"I tried everything to convince Brett that God exists, but nothing worked."
American Dad!
"Why do people only come to me when their lives are in shambles?"
American Dad!
"If I wanna save Brett's immortal soul, all I have to do is destroy his life."
American Dad!
"Hey. You're alive and probably pretty pissed."
American Dad!
"It's $2000 my professor gave me for doing a good job in potions class."
American Dad!
"Two... Two grand?"
American Dad!
"2000? $2000?"
American Dad!
"Yeah. You can have it if you want. It's Muggle money."
American Dad!
"It's so light. I can't tell if I'm leading it or it's leading me."
American Dad!
"- Is that another one? - No, that's a chopstick."
American Dad!
"That's okay, Stan. I can't stay mad at you."
American Dad!
"That's such a relief."
American Dad!
"I hope you know I'd do anything to save this friendship. Anything."
American Dad!
"What an unexpected piece of adversity. Are you okay?"
American Dad!
"Yeah, I think so. I'm just glad my wife and kids weren't home."
American Dad!
"I can't believe this. It's completely destroyed."
American Dad!
"Damn. I'm failing him. Some friend you are, Stan."
American Dad!
"Show me the way, Lord."
American Dad!
"Show me the way to really make him suffer."
American Dad!
"Order up."
American Dad!
"My insurance won't cover explosions."
American Dad!
"Well, at least you still have this restaurant."
American Dad!
"Sir, we have a problem."
American Dad!
"... have been traced to Brett's Breakfast Joint."
American Dad!
"Although, I gotta say, I ate there this morning, and l..."
American Dad!
"This is a nightmare. I put my life into that restaurant."
American Dad!
"It's gonna be okay. The important thing is I've still got my family."
American Dad!
"Yeah, I kind of thought you might say that."
American Dad!
"Brett, I've realized I'm a lesbian, so I'm leaving you."
American Dad!
"What? When did you become a lesbian?"
American Dad!
"Wait. Don't do this. You're all I have!"
American Dad!
"Put on your pants, Jesus. There's someone at the door."
American Dad!
"Brett? Brett?"
American Dad!
"Yeah, give me three Sopranos pinball machines..."
American Dad!
"...the radio golf ball, the floating ant farm..."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna call right back. What the hell is that?"
American Dad!
"Professor Ice Pick won't mind. It's like I'm doing extra credit."
American Dad!
"Do they know where you live? Do they know where you live?"
American Dad!
"- We can't let them know we're home. - Why not?"
American Dad!
"Disguised as teachers from the school."
American Dad!
"Oh, God. I pooed."
American Dad!
"Occulus repairo..."
American Dad!
"Get his ass."
American Dad!
"You want some, too? I got plenty for everybody."
American Dad!
"TV is safe."
American Dad!
"- What? - My spells defeated the Death Eaters."
American Dad!
"I am awesome!"
American Dad!
"- What do we need? - Some sulphuric acid and a hacksaw."
American Dad!
"Dear Lord, I know this is all my fault. I was intolerant."
American Dad!
"I tried to change my friend, and look what happened."
American Dad!
"Brett. Brett, I thought I lost you."
American Dad!
"- Stan. - Look, Brett, I have to tell you the truth."
American Dad!
"I was behind all those bad things that happened to you."
American Dad!
"Stan, it's okay, because I believe now. I believe in God."
American Dad!
"Right before he kicked me down to hell for committing suicide."
American Dad!
"...if I would work to spread the fame and glory of Satan."
American Dad!
"No, Stan, it's true."
American Dad!
"...and be able to play it like this?"
American Dad!
"- You made a bargain with the devil? - Hang on."
American Dad!
"But that's your eternal soul."
American Dad!
Show more clips