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Clips from The League (2009) - The Tie (S02E02)

"Parks are like the club meth for homosexuals."
The League (2009)
"- It's over. - Great."
The League (2009)
"- It's total bullshit. - No, it's not."
The League (2009)
"- Yes it is. - It's a tie."
The League (2009)
"If you actually do your job as commissioner"
The League (2009)
"and make a ruling for what happens at a tie-breaker."
The League (2009)
"- We need a tie-breaker. - Oh really? Okay."
The League (2009)
"As of right now there is no rule"
The League (2009)
"which I think everyone at this table's done, Andre."
The League (2009)
"Defect, defect, defect. Back to main's."
The League (2009)
"Fantasy football is about proving that you're better than your friends,"
The League (2009)
"We're not coveting Billy Joel cassette tapes or wearing ill fitting blue jeans."
The League (2009)
"Whoever catches this piece of popcorn in their mouths first,"
The League (2009)
"- I win. - Yay!"
The League (2009)
"Andre and I believe that Kevin should accept our tiebreaker scenario."
The League (2009)
"And to settle it, I've come up with a brilliant idea."
The League (2009)
"Why we should have a scavenger hunt."
The League (2009)
"And what will we search for?"
The League (2009)
"Kevin's vagina... (chuckling)"
The League (2009)
"...because Kevin is such a giant pussy, which is why we are in"
The League (2009)
"this situation in the first place."
The League (2009)
"You want to play games?"
The League (2009)
"I can play games."
The League (2009)
"I'm gonna change the name of our league."
The League (2009)
"We are now The League, plus one short douchebag named Ruxin."
The League (2009)
"Ha!"
The League (2009)
"Oh, really?"
The League (2009)
"What? I'm sorry."
The League (2009)
"And Andre starts weeping at those plucky kids."
The League (2009)
""Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in a game and I don't know the rules.""
The League (2009)
"Oh, excuse me, I'm over the line?"
The League (2009)
"This all started when you pulled my goddamn post."
The League (2009)
"I'll show you over the line."
The League (2009)
"Whoa."
The League (2009)
"Fear Boners?"
The League (2009)
"How dare you, Ruxin."
The League (2009)
"I quit being commissioner of this league."
The League (2009)
"You guys can deal with all the problems yourself."
The League (2009)
"So wait, he's done... done?"
The League (2009)
"Like I mean, not coming back?"
The League (2009)
"Oh, wise one, are these your Western healing potions?"
The League (2009)
"No, Taco, those are spices."
The League (2009)
"It's coriander, and that's for hepatitis."
The League (2009)
"I've been practicing your arcane healing arts on my blind neighbor Simon."
The League (2009)
"All right, so you got to tell me what did Ruxin mean by this"
The League (2009)
"Yeah, he was really mad."
The League (2009)
"Can't talk about it, guys."
The League (2009)
"What?"
The League (2009)
"I can't."
The League (2009)
"This is one of the unmentionables."
The League (2009)
"So back in college, we were heading home from the bars one night."
The League (2009)
"I'm going to do Teach for America."
The League (2009)
"I would totally come with you, but I... I got those fish dates,"
The League (2009)
"You cannot."
The League (2009)
"Yeah."
The League (2009)
"Oh, God, what is this?"
The League (2009)
"Is he coming over here?"
The League (2009)
"Two blocks around that corner right there?"
The League (2009)
"To the left."
The League (2009)
"What...?"
The League (2009)
"What?"
The League (2009)
"Nothing. There's nothing in my pants."
The League (2009)
"I know what it is, but why is it here and why does he have it?"
The League (2009)
"If you run at him, he's gonna finish."
The League (2009)
"That was amazing."
The League (2009)
"You got scared and you just burst forth."
The League (2009)
"I didn't get scared."
The League (2009)
"I'm just... I'm going to see a girl and I have an anticip-erection."
The League (2009)
"No."
The League (2009)
"A fear boner."
The League (2009)
"It's not a fear boner."
The League (2009)
"Anticip-erection."
The League (2009)
"No, fear boner."
The League (2009)
"Walk it off."
The League (2009)
"Can we never talk about this ever again, please?"
The League (2009)
"Yeah, ***."
The League (2009)
"Kevin was so modified in one single moment."
The League (2009)
"He was cowardly, gay,"
The League (2009)
"homophobic and racist."
The League (2009)
"- The fear boner. - And that's why we never talked about it."
The League (2009)
"We have no commissioner."
The League (2009)
"- I don't wanna do it. - I don't wanna do it."
The League (2009)
"- I can do it. - You see, we have no options."
The League (2009)
"- None. - Ruxin can't."
The League (2009)
"No way."
The League (2009)
"So I don't know, our only option is"
The League (2009)
"Really? A foot race?"
The League (2009)
"Plus, we didn't trust each other with any other kind of competition."
The League (2009)
"I mean don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining."
The League (2009)
"You should see me sprint."
The League (2009)
"A what?"
The League (2009)
"A marathon."
The League (2009)
"A mara... Hey!"
The League (2009)
"Our fearless commissioner returns."
The League (2009)
"I hope the both of you tear an ACL, and I hope maybe you die."
The League (2009)
"Good, good for you."
The League (2009)
"Yeah, and then I'll win because he's dead, so... High five."
The League (2009)
"Can we get this going here, guys?"
The League (2009)
"Let's go, guys."
The League (2009)
"All right."
The League (2009)
"Starting line is right here, and the finish line is 400 miles that way."
The League (2009)
"400 meters around this loop."
The League (2009)
"On your marks, get... Whoa! Geez!"
The League (2009)
"Okay, okay... Is that a real gun?"
The League (2009)
"Of course it's a real gun. It's a real race."
The League (2009)
"This race is no longer official."
The League (2009)
"All right, on your marks, get set... go!"
The League (2009)
"This... this is what we've been reduced to without our commissioner."
The League (2009)
"No, no way."
The League (2009)
"We're like a frittata of Lord of the Flies, man."
The League (2009)
"(oinking)"
The League (2009)
"Come on, guys, run, run, run, run."
The League (2009)
"Boo."
The League (2009)
"Andre wins."
The League (2009)
"- No way. You pushed me, okay? - What?"
The League (2009)
"That was unnecessary roughness, or at the very least, interference."
The League (2009)
"That was incidental contact."
The League (2009)
"Interference."
The League (2009)
"Oh, no, no, I'm not the commissioner, and I have no jurisdiction here."
The League (2009)
"Guys, guys, guys, look, look, look, look."
The League (2009)
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