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Clips from The Office - Dwight Christmas (S09E09)

"So you know my job has something to do with sports,"
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"but you don't know the end of the word "Philadelphia"?"
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"Good luck with your new enterprise."
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"It makes your neck look like an old mop handle."
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"Oh... Hey, guys,"
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"the Christmas party is today."
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"- No. - Is it?"
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"- I mean, it says "X-mas party,""
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"So we're not gonna have a Christmas party this year?"
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"Angela, how could you do this to us?"
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"Oh, right, like I'm responsible"
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"'cause I'm in charge of the party planning committee."
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"Well, you are the one in charge of it."
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"Don't blame me for something we all forgot."
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"Yeah, let's not blame her for something we all forgot."
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"until she tried to have my kneecap shattered"
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"I knew the party was today,"
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"but nobody asked me to plan it, so I didn't."
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"Hmm, funny how that works."
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"sweating our balls off every day,"
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"We deserve a Christmas party!"
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"Well, then, why don't we just get some liquor"
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"- and those mini-cupcakes? - Mini-cupcakes?"
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"Honestly, where does it end with you people?"
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"What about an authentic Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas?"
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"Drink some gluhwein,"
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"rural German companion, Belsnickel."
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"Yes! That, that, that!"
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"- Done, right? - No."
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"I want tropical Christmas."
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"Spanish tapas and Swiss miss hot cocoa--"
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"Or, who was it that suggested"
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"- We already said no. - No, no, no."
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"celebrating Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas"
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"breaking the ceremonial pig rib."
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"This is the same photo, Matrix style."
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"Am I the only one who wants to try"
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"hufflepuffs and schnauzerhosen,"
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"and meet this glenpickle guy?"
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"Party planning committee, emergency meeting."
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"- I'm on it. - Right."
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"I'm just hoping German terrorists"
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"don't take over this Christmas party."
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"Make me go all John McClane on their asses."
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"Wait, German terrorists? That's oddly specific."
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"And I think-- I think you mean John McCain."
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"Die Hard reference."
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"- Mm-mmm. - Why haven't you seen Die Hard?"
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"I don't know, I just haven't."
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"Come on, you had to have at least seen some of it."
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""Now, I have a machine gun."
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""Come out to the coast,"
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"we'll get together, have a few laughs.""
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"None of this makes any sense to me!"
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"Oh, yeah, and when he takes the gun off his back,"
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"and he's like, "yippie-ki-yay, mother--""
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"Actually, he doesn't say that there."
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"He says it earlier when he's on the radio with Hans."
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"Yes, you are right. Forgive me."
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"- Oh, that's okay, bud. - Nope."
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"and I did it, and I loved doing it."
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"Okay, let's hear it."
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"Don't change the subject."
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"Movie is starting."
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"We're thinking of collaborating"
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"I love Philly. Dirty town."
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"Ah-ha-ha! Philly!"
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"- Exciting stuff, man. - Whoo!"
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"So you sure you remembered everything for your trip?"
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"- Yeah, I think so. - Think that through for a sec."
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"What else could you possibly be forgetting?"
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"- Uh-- - Things? People?"
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"George Howard Skub,"
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"AKA the alleged Scranton strangler,"
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"because he's in prison"
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"for something he may not have done."
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"I'm sorry, the-- uh, the Scranton who?"
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"Haven't I told you about the jury"
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"I was on a couple years ago?"
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"Oh, what happened?"
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"Because if you can't, I mean, I understand."
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"I-- I could-- I could talk about it."
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"I would start at the beginning,"
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"but I think I need to go farther back."
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"We're the party planning committee,"
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"by playing it safe."
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"We got here by being risk takers."
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"And, yeah,"
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"Dwight's party is gonna be terrible."
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"Maybe."
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"Maybe it's not."
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"And, if it's great..."
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"I think we all know"
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"No."
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"I don't want my name attached to this party."
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"What does that even mean?"
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"Where would your name appear?"
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"off of everything."
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"Just take her name off of everything."
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"Yes! Yeah!"
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"Yes! It's a Christmas miracle!"
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"Yeah!"
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"- Whoo-hoo! - Dwight, there is one rule"
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"that you need to take very seriously."
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"That there are no rules."
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"And Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas has officially begun."
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"That is gluhwein, otherwise known as glow-wine,"
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"- Somebody's found the hog maw. - Oh!"
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"What?"
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"It's a Pennsylvania Dutch specialty."
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"I don't even want to tell you what it's made of"
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"Ugh. I'm not eating mystery meat."
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"- Can't wait. - Weird."
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"Where are the sugar cookies?"
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"Where's the karaoke machine?"
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"This is austere, Meredith."
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"This is celebrating Christmas for all of the right reasons."
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"The cookies and toys and sweets are mere distractions."
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"I mean, most people don't even know"
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"which I assure you does not taste like peppermint."
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