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Clips from The Simpsons - Waiting for Duffman (S26E26)

"Former Duff Girl and current senator from Oklahoma,"
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"the Honorable Missy LeBeau."
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"I look reasonable, but I'm not."
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"And billionaire Mumbai entrepreneur,"
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"Rajneesh Superstar."
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"Bottle service, ballers!"
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"Now let's welcome the Chairman of Duff Industries,"
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"I just want to say,"
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"if we can't find ourselves a Duffman out of this group,"
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"then maybe we'll just give up on the concept."
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"Brilliant!"
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"Oh, ja."
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"Ach."
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"♪ Vo-de-oh-doh-doh. ♪"
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"Did you miss me?"
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"former Duffman, Barry Huffman, is here to wish you luck."
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"I was told there would be morphine."
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"Homer, any last thoughts on what Duff means to you?"
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"Without Duff, I wouldn't have have brought"
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"We're beer babies."
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"Aw..."
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"We have our decision."
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"you're America's Next Top Duffman..."
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"runner-up!"
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"The real winner is America's new hero--"
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"contestant number 12!"
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"He drinks a competitor."
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"Reverse the confetti."
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"And check the fat guy for tattoos."
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"Just one that says "Marge Madness.""
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"These reality shows really leave you no privacy."
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"Well, I guess that makes this guy Duffman."
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"One confettus."
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"I mean, oh, yeah!"
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"♪ ♪"
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"That's how we'll tell the trades you got the job."
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"Seems awfully overproduced."
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"Night gathers, and now my Duff watch begins."
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"Or my 13-week option is not picked up."
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"except for the wife and house and kids I'm already stuck with."
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"I put the "fest" in Oktoberfest"
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"though I have nothing to offer but my suds, head and beers,"
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"When life looks hopeless, it's not."
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"♪ Duff Beer, feeling no pain ♪"
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"♪ It will tickle your brain ♪"
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"♪ Duff Beer, feeling no pain ♪"
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"And here's a painting of my ancestor Ichabod Duff,"
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"Ah, hell, this is all BS."
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"Duffman was a fascist icon my grandfather repurposed"
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"'cause he couldn't get the damn rights to Woody Woodpecker."
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"me, Condoleezza Rice, and my brother-in-law Terry."
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"And the combination is not known to any human..."
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""Schlitz plus water.""
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"Just what do you mean?"
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"Well, aren't you making him a superhero"
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"so that beer looks cool to kids?"
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"Do you know why man stopped running around,"
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"So he could grow hops and make beer."
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"Enjoy a good game."
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"Ease the pain of a lost loved one."
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"That's the tradition your husband will inherit."
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"Attagirl, have a designer bag."
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"Now, Homer, there is one thing we needed to do in private."
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"Hey, that's not my butt!"
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"We've injected a chip in you"
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"What? That's funny."
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"They all fight it at first."
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"You wouldn't tell Batman he couldn't eat bats."
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"When you're Duffman, you're at work, Homer."
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"You wouldn't go to the nuclear plant drunk, would you?"
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"Uh..."
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"Well, uh..."
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"Yeah..."
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"was to be respected and beloved."
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"When my husband put on that costume,"
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"he didn't just put on a sleeveless shirt"
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"And boots that I don't think will hold up in the rain."
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"But the point is-- it's not about being drunk,"
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"it's about being someone."
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"You're right, Marge."
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"I will do something no one has ever done-- be fun sober."
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"Mmm, foamy Marge."
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"Can you believe they put a chip in my arm,"
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"Ah. Ah, gee, tough break."
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"Maybe Moe could dig it out with a corkscrew."
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"Yeah."
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"Oh, I would love that, Homer, I really would."
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"Whoa, creepy."
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"Relax, honey, no one's ever been killed by a T-shirt cannon."
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"Blah, blah, blah, blah."
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"Help us, Duffman!"
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"I'm thinking of dumping Kid Sourpuss here."
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"I'm a hero."
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"Oh, I can see my obituary now."
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"Wow. Wow."
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"Watkins putting for the championship."
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"It's breaking towards the hole."
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"Time to move from the links to the drinks!"
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"♪ Drink, drink ♪"
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"♪ Let the toast start ♪"
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"♪ May young hearts never part ♪"
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"♪ Drink, drink, drink ♪"
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"♪ Let every true lover salute his sweetheart... ♪"
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"♪ Drink, drink, drink to... ♪"
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"H.K., this new Duffman is driving sales straight up."
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"Turns out, men like men who look worse than them"
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"selling them beer."
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"Why did it take us 142 years to discover this?"
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"Studies show when a decision is made by a group,"
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"everyone feels more confident,"
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"even though the decision could be incredibly stupid."
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"Is this true?"
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"Can't argue with that."
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"What do you guys think?"
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"Oh, uh, no, that was a, uh, "whoa!""
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"Uh, welcome aboard, Duffman."
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"Fair warning now-- at the end,"
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"I just might ask for an autograph for my son."
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"With nicknames."
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"Buddy, Sport, Tiger, Red."
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