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Clips from The Simpsons - I Won't Be Home for Christmas (S26E26)

"Ah, just snowflakes on my mustache."
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"Listen, could I buy a left-handed, uh..."
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"I don't know, eyelash curler?"
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"Sure, but y-your eyelashes are long and luxurious already."
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"Are you just buying this to be nice?"
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"Uh, maybe."
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"Because jerk-ass Homer has become ass-jerk Homer."
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"Well, that curled my lashes, but good for you."
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"You're all right, stupid Flanders."
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"You're all right."
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"Whoa, he's getting serious."
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"Is this what I really want?"
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"My best friend is a great runner."
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"I made everyone happy but me."
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"Some Christmas."
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"Feliz navidad."
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"Abe Simpson, please."
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"You came to see me!"
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"Aw!"
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"Easter came early this year."
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"Make them turn the TV to CBS!"
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"Well, with all that you folks have experienced,"
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"The problem with Puerto Ricans is..."
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"No casual racism."
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"The Nutcracker."
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"Every child's favorite Christmas character."
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"Is this a dream?"
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"Man, you are a nutcracker."
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"But I've learned something tonight--"
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"you know how everyone hates"
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"being with their family on Christmas? Uh-huh."
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"Well, being without them is worse."
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"Can you find it in your wooden heart to give me a break?"
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"I'm sorry."
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"Is that girl really doing that?!"
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"Ho, ho, ho!"
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"This party's great,"
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"but all I wish is that I was drinking a beer"
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"with my kids right now."
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"Homer? Hmm?!"
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"Because I realize maybe there's a good explanation"
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"Oh, Marge, you found me!"
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"You always find me."
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"Now we just have to find your car in the mall parking lot."
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"I thought I had one of those chirping keys."
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"Oh, well, I've been faking the noise."
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"'Cause you deserve the best."
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"Thank you magical creatures of the mall!"
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"I'll never forget--"
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"All right, I'm sick of waiting."
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"till Mom and Dad wake up."
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"It's 9:10 a.m."
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"I know what they're doing-- they're up in bed"
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"I want yours."
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"Merry Christmas, son."
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"Um, walkie-talkies don't count as two presents."
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"Idiot."
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"Each birth is followed by another birth"
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"just seconds later."
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"What the?! This isn't Halloween."
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"I just got to lock down the reactor for the evening."
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"Man, those things go off quick."
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"at Christmas."
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"Pity! Pity! Have pity!"
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"And now, Homer, it's only fair that I give yous a gift."
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"One night."
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"and he can't even do that."
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"Homer Simpson!"
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"The ghost of Marge Future!"
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"Shutting down."
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"you'd like to warn me about?"
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"Wow."
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"Christmas Eve."
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"Well, the story of jazz starts with the tresillo,"
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"If it helps, I made you a card."
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"Bart, this is the year I've got to nail Christmas."
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"Eh, how you doing there?"
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"Yeah, that's right--"
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"Neither do I."
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"This is my 17th Christmas alone in a movie theater."
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"Can I borrow, like, $10,000?"
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"We'll be friends in this life and the next."
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"What the...?"
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"you want to go to a party?"
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"What are you doing here?"
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"Well, he's not in the neon sign store."
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"It's two presents."
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"Behold, our miracle of birth."
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"No answer."
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"♪ The Simpsons 26x09 ♪ I Won't Be Home for Christmas Original Air Date on December 7, 2014"
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"Simpson!"
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"Midge, it's one minute till Christmas,"
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"♪ Mm ♪"
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"Visitors!"
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"watching the re-broadcast of the Hollywood Christmas Parade."
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"Oops! So did mine."
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"Maybe not this time."
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"Oh, thank God you're here."
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"It's Sir Isaac Newton's birthday."
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"No, wait. That's my schedule."
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"to someone I cared for,"
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"I don't know."
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"I wonder if Lou suspects that I was his Secret Santa."
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"♪ On the feast... ♪"
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"D'oh!"
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"Hmm!"
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"Visitor for Abe Simpson."
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"What?"
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"Hey, is your husband into people dressed like food?"
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"Oh, my God."
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"God."
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"Homie, I'm your present tonight."
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"that you screwed up."
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"Oh, I got a baseball glove."
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"I love you just the same."
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"and electrocuted on Christmas Eve."
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"This is what I was hoping for."
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"but I say if Dad isn't here Christmas morning,"
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"Don't need it."
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"Well, there is a party here."
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