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Clips from Frasier - I Hate Frasier Crane (S01E01)

"(Cheering)"
Frasier
"You cut it close, Frasier was almost eating sidewalk."
Frasier
"What are you talking about?"
Frasier
"♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs"
Frasier
"♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused"
Frasier
"♪ Those tossed salads and scrambled eggs"
Frasier
"♪ They're calling again ♪"
Frasier
"And I'm not stopping till I do."
Frasier
"She's seen everyone. Why do you think she was calling Directory Assistance?"
Frasier
"- Glad you could join us, Niles. - I wouldn't have missed it."
Frasier
"We thank you, Lord, for the food we're about to eat."
Frasier
"Amen."
Frasier
"Frasier, did you read Derek Mann's column? You were mentioned."
Frasier
"- No. - It wasn't flattering."
Frasier
"- Oh, sorry. - That's it? "l hate Frasier Crane"?"
Frasier
"It was about Margaret Thatcher's secret for growing zinnias. Happy?"
Frasier
"Hold it, you want to take that call for the same reason"
Frasier
"I was mentioned in Derek Mann's column."
Frasier
"by presenting a well-thought out, point-by-point,"
Frasier
"- The radio station. - Nice to see you again."
Frasier
"not a man at all, but half a man."
Frasier
"'No, I thought we'd throw pies at each other (!)"
Frasier
"Don't you back out, either, because I know where your office is, too,"
Frasier
"- Who's Billy Kriezel? - A kid who tormented me."
Frasier
"They were supposed to fight"
Frasier
"You won't be happy until I have a black eye."
Frasier
"and I notice the garbage man looking at me."
Frasier
"Good news. I parked on a broken meter. We're getting a freebie."
Frasier
"Actually, yes, but don't worry. I'm frequently wrong."
Frasier
"I'm not arresting you."
Frasier
"My chest is pounding, my knees are like jelly. I feel great!"
Frasier
"You did good."
Frasier
"Maybe I will. You know why I will?"
Frasier
"♪ Well, maybe...but I got you pegged!"
Frasier
"- Stop staring! - I wasn't staring."
Frasier
"You're obsessed with what you think you're missing,"
Frasier
"Apparently, Mr Mann heard your programme."
Frasier
"'No, I'm saying it.'"
Frasier
"Having a look at that murder case again?"
Frasier
"I am sorry if I embarrassed you"
Frasier
"Let's just say a father knows certain things about his son."
Frasier
"- I'm famished. - Me too."
Frasier
"That was 30 years ago."
Frasier
"Who's Derek Mann?"
Frasier
"Fully explore each one in turn,"
Frasier
"We're back. We have a surprise caller, Derek Mann."
Frasier
"Yeah, it was."
Frasier
"Especially when he challenged you to a fight and you stood up to him."
Frasier
"Oh, that's right. You weren't in my precinct."
Frasier
"♪ Baby, I hear the blues a-calling"
Frasier
"She doesn't know he's coming. He's opening the door."
Frasier
"- I wanted to save an article. - On what?"
Frasier
"They got a band out there."
Frasier
"We're all eating right here, like a family. End of discussion."
Frasier
"OK, I'm coming peacefully. Let me get my jacket."
Frasier
"Yeah, yeah."
Frasier
"Must be the ranch dressing."
Frasier
"- Why would he say that? - Must be the carrots."
Frasier
"- His entire column is about your show. - Not very flattering, either."
Frasier
"- It's Billy Kriezel. - Where?"
Frasier
"Lines one to eight are people who think you're chicken."
Frasier
"What else are you getting?"
Frasier
"- I'm missing lunch for this. - You could stand to miss a few."
Frasier
"Go ahead."
Frasier
"Don't be a greedy guts. Let's have a look."
Frasier
"So I see. "Yesterday, Dr Frasier Crane got on my case"
Frasier
"- I don't resort to brawling. - You accepted the man's challenge."
Frasier
"Of course. I have a feeling I'm going to be excused a lot in this house."
Frasier
"- Are you encouraging me to fight? - You gave him your word."
Frasier
"To you, it's Niles and... uh..."
Frasier
"He smiles, and he's missing a tooth. That's when the romance went out of it."
Frasier
"(Doorbell)"
Frasier
"Step back into the shadows, HL Mencken,"
Frasier
"and pecked out this chef d'Å"uvre,"
Frasier
"- It's my job. I'm a waiter. - We don't want anything, thank you."
Frasier
"Mann can't even write grammatical sentences."
Frasier
"He must like making dots with the crayon he writes this drivel with!"
Frasier
"I said some things that went over the line."
Frasier
"Well, this is where it stops. I'm not running any more."
Frasier
""for not giving a point-by-point criticism of his radio show."
Frasier
"So, dear listeners, when Mr Mann's column arrives on your doorstep,"
Frasier
""l HATE Frasier Crane.""
Frasier
"Who else wants a piece of me?"
Frasier
"If we want an unobstructed view..."
Frasier
"Whatever you want."
Frasier
"I'd better go find a place in the crowd."
Frasier
"(Mariachi band strikes up)"
Frasier
"There, the man standing to the left of the statue."
Frasier
"My God, you could show a movie on his back."
Frasier
"Is my head a large piece of kibble?"
Frasier
"Think about it. Get back to me."
Frasier
"Gents, dinner's up. Can I help you clear your papers?"
Frasier
"An old case from the police force, the weeping lotus murder."
Frasier
"- In the kitchen. - Don't be ridiculous."
Frasier
"(Shouts) Pompous and sanctimonious, am l?"
Frasier
"I don't know who Derek Mann thinks he is,"
Frasier
"I say, let's expose this Derek Mann for what he is,"
Frasier
"Mature people should use their intellect to settle differences."
Frasier
"Thanks, Harry. I owe you one."
Frasier
"Thank you!"
Frasier
"Yeah, I dug out the old crime scene photos."
Frasier
"You can't eat by yourself in the kitchen. I'll join you."
Frasier