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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Launch Acceleration (S05E05)

"Look at us, Leonard."
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"Engaging in the social convention of men bellyaching about their old ladies."
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"I guess we are. So..."
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"What's going on?"
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"Believe it or not, Amy has embarked on a campaign..."
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"I'm sorry, that must be very difficult for you."
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"It's awful. This morning..."
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"...she arranged for me to be an Amtrak Junior Conductor for the day."
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"It's usually only open to children. She got them to make an exception."
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"Shame on her."
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"They let me blow the whistle, Leonard."
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"She's good."
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"I know. And it gets worse."
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"Her efforts are causing me to have affectionate feelings for her..."
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"...at inappropriate times."
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"You mean like in bed or in the shower?"
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"No. And would you please stop referencing that infernal book?"
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"For example, this morning..."
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"...I was calculating the random motion of virtual particles in a vacuum..."
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"...when suddenly, the particles morphed into an image of Amy's dandruff..."
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"...gently cascading down onto her pale, slightly hunched shoulders."
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"What has that vixen done to me, Leonard?"
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"How do I make it stop?"
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"Well, if you had a physical relationship, I'd say propose during sex."
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"Turns out that's a real mood-killer."
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"- I assume we're talking about you now? - Yeah."
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"So that's how this works? I complain and then you complain..."
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"...and no one offers any solutions?"
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"Pretty much."
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"Well, no wonder the women are winning."
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"Mr. Rostenkowski, are you busy?"
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"Just looking at some old pictures. Come on in."
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"Family pictures, or...? Holy crap, that's a dead person."
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"Last murder case before I retired."
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"How many bodies do you see there?"
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"Careful. It's a trick question."
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"- I'm not sure. - No, you'll never get it. It's a fraction."
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"How about that, heh."
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"Anyway, sir, I need to talk to you about something."
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"Walnut?"
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"No, thank you. I'm allergic."
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"Oh, sure. My partner used to have that. He's dead now."
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"- From nuts, heh? - No, his wife shot him."
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"Nice story. Anyway..."
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"...the reason I wanted to talk to you is..."
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"...NASA has moved up my launch to the international Space Station."
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"- Yeah, so? - So the date is going to conflict..."
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"...with me marrying your daughter. Now, I know what you're going to say."
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"...and I've got a lot of nerve coming here and demanding that we postpone this."
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"Well, message heard and understood. Mission cancelled. Thank you."
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"Where are you going?"
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"I'm sorry."
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"May I be excused?"
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"I'm sorry, I didn't know. Is this going to...?"
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"Well, I should sit... May I be seated? I'll just sit."
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"When I first met you, I didn't like you."
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"I'm aware of that, sir."
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"But then you and I had some time together."
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"Uh-huh, heh."
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"It did not get better."
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"Right, right, heh."
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"That silly Beatle haircut."
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"You riding around on a red Vespa."
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"And you're still living at home with your mother."
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"To be honest, I thought Bernadette chose you to punish me."
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"But then I heard about your astronaut thing..."
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"...and I realized I judged you too fast."
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"Maybe you are the right guy for my little girl."
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"...even if I didn't go to space, heh."
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"You know, I've got an ID card and a NASA golf shirt."
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"No, no. You gotta go."
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"You can't turn down an opportunity like this."
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"But what about the wedding..."
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"...and all the money you put down for the reception?"
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"You let me worry about that."
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"You go up to that space station and you make me proud."
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"Um, okay."
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"You got a problem with that?"
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"All right, look, I'm gonna level with you."
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"I mean, uh, what if I don't make it back?"
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"It's gonna be okay, son."
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"A pretty girl like Bernadette. She'll find a new guy."
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"- Hey. - Hey."
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"- Off to work? - Yeah."
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"Penny, just wait."
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"I've been thinking about what I said when we were in bed."
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"Yeah, I've been thinking about it too."
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"I noticed you never answered me."
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"You're right."
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"No."
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"- Uh, follow-up. Are we still dating? - Yep."
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"- Is it still weird because I proposed? - Yep."
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"- Do you wanna call me from the car? - Nope."
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"I played that pretty well."
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"- What are you doing? - We're playing doctor."
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"Star Trek style."
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"Don't stop."
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"- Hey, you. - Before I come in, you should know..."
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"I have a couple more quick questions."
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"When I first met you... You just gonna stand there?"
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"The thing was designed by the same brilliant minds..."
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"You can't take something like that back. What are we supposed to do now?"
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