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Clips from We Are Lady Parts - Potential Future Spouse (S01E01)

"- You should totally invite Ahsan to my engagement party."
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"- Really? It's still pretty early."
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"- Babe, it's fine, you met him on the marriage app."
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"He knows the deal."
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"I'll speak to Imran,"
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"but I'm sure he'll be cool with it."
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"- Okay! [all scream]"
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"- [snoring] - How'd it go?"
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"- Can I get some privacy please?"
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"- No. - How'd it go?"
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"- She's nice. - So do you fancy her?"
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"- She's not really my type. She's intense."
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"- You friend-zoned her, yeah?"
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"[cell phone buzzes]"
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"- She's inviting me to an engagement party."
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"- Guess not, then. - You've gotta go."
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"- He can't go. That'd be leading her on."
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"- You just don't want her in the band."
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"- No, I just think it's fucking wrong"
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"to deceive her like that."
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"Even massive dweebs have rights, man."
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"- Maybe lead her on just a little,"
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"until we audition for Sound Smash."
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"- Hold on, no. That's cold."
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"Saira, no wonder Abdullah's"
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"on the verge of a mental breakdown."
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"You're fucking heartless."
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"Friend-zone her."
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"- I'm not heartless, am I?"
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"- Guys, do you mind?"
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"[dog barking]"
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"- Ow. - There."
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"We're official."
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"I've just officiated us into...officialdom."
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"- Okay."
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"- All right. I'm gonna fuck off now."
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"- Bye, girlfriend. Love you!"
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"[chuckles]"
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"[rock music]"
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"♪ ♪"
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"- What's going on?"
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"We don't start for another hour."
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"- We just wanted to have a little parlay."
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"Why don't you sit down?"
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"- Go on then, parlay."
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"- Lady Parts is officially online."
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"I've put band profiles up on Facebook, Twitter--"
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"- You did what? - This is not a dictatorship."
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"- Come on, what's the harm in trying social media?"
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"We tried your Amina thing."
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"- How many times do we have to go through this?"
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"The Internet is where creativity and truth go to die."
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"- Ugh. - [sighs]"
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"- If you put our music online,"
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"it'll be ripped off by "insert corporation here""
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"to sell Pop-Tarts and iPads,"
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"to fentanyl-sniffing infants with the sole purpose"
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"of lining the pockets of Silicon Valley technocrats."
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"Fuck that! - Yeah, fuck that!"
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"- Bro, seriously. - No, I'm sorry."
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"- Listen, we'll audition. We'll get in."
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"And we'll find our audience by playing."
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"We'll take our music to the people the purest way."
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"- Well, you don't get to the audition"
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"if you can't pull a crowd."
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"We need a following."
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"- No. Take us off now."
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"- We've already got 30 followers."
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"Look at them. They're us."
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"Younger us's when we didn't even know"
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"Peeps suckers even existed."
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"[upbeat rock music]"
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"♪ ♪"
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"- This is temporary."
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"♪ ♪"
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"- As the days went by,"
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"news of my successful match with the Ahsan spread rapidly."
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"Every sister and their sheikh knew about it."
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"I was no longer a washed-up loser."
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"I was a woman in her power."
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"And a woman in her power walks"
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"with a certain bossy swagger."
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"[cell phone rings]"
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"♪ ♪"
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"- Hey, I'm sorry, should have been clear."
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"I really like you, but just, you know, as a friend."
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"Probably not a great idea to come"
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"to your friend's engagement party."
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"It was great to meet you."
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"It's Ahsan, by the way."
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"- Yo. Oh, shit."
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"- Oof. Okay."
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"Cool. [exhales]"
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"Let's go."
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"Let's go. Let's go."
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""Voldemort Under My Headscarf.""
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"I-I had some ideas."
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"- Wanna talk about it? - Nah."
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"It? What it?"
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"- We're sorry it didn't work out."
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"- Mmm, it, it, it-- uh, there isn't even an it."
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"We met once."
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"I don't know him. What it, right?"
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"The only it that exists is the it in my head."
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"The made-up stupid, fantasy it"
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"that only exists in my silly little girl head, right?"
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"How does it become so big so fast?"
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"What kind of nobody lets that happen?"
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"This girl! [laughs awkwardly]"
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"You're looking at her."
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"- You're not a nobody. - Oh, come on, you knew, right?"
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"You knew she's a thirsty nobody that will jump"
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"if you dangle any passable male in front of her."
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"You knew that I couldn't resist Ahsan when you offered him up."
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"That is my problem."
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"I-I lose my mind over every Bashir with a good beard"
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"that smiles at me, you know?"
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"Sorry."
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"- Bashir with a good beard."
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"That's brilliant. - What?"
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