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Clips from Moonlighting (1985) - Maddie Hayes Got Married (S04E04)

"Look, I wish I could stop and explain all of this..."
Moonlighting (1985)
"...but I'm afraid I'm about to have a baby."
Moonlighting (1985)
"-Baby? -Yes, a baby."
Moonlighting (1985)
"-A baby? -A baby?"
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"Yeah, a baby."
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"Yeah, so excuse the interruption. Just take it from the downbeat, Rev."
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"We'll just slip out quietly, tell you about it tomorrow."
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"I'd like to know whose baby she's having."
Moonlighting (1985)
"Her own. Look, this isn't a dry run, this is condition red. Her water broke."
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"-Well, I'm coming. -No, you're not. No, you're not."
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"First of all, you're not invited."
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"Hold this."
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"I caught the bouquet. I caught the bouquet."
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"David, look at you."
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"-You're 180-proof hung-over. -I'm fine."
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"You're in no condition to drive this woman to the hospital..."
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"...much less help her deliver a baby."
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"-Hey, butt out. -I'm coming."
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"-No, you're not. -Yes, I am."
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"Get married."
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"Try and make me!"
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"David, who is this woman?"
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"How dare you act like you're acting..."
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"...do what you're doing, throw me a wedding when--"
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"Hold that thought till, say, tomorrow."
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"Follow that car."
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"Maddie!"
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"And where are the three of us going on our honeymoon?"
Moonlighting (1985)
"-To the hospital. -Natch."
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"-Well, just let me sit. -All right."
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"Here, sit here. Watch it."
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"-You okay? -Yeah."
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"-I'm having a baby. -May I help you?"
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"-We're having a baby. -Doctor?"
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"-Investigator. -Who is your doctor?"
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"This is not his hospital, an unscheduled stop."
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"Don't you have some kind of an express line here? You all right?"
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"-David Addison! -That has a nice ring to it."
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"-What are you doing--? -Cutting it close? Fill out this form."
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"I didn't want you to come."
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"-Your wife's name? -Your wife?"
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"-She's not my wife. -She's not?"
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"I'm not, not in a million years."
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"Well, then who are you? And who's she?"
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"-That's what I'd like to know. -She's my Lamaze partner."
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"-Knowles, Terri. -I have one question for you:"
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"Did you know she was pregnant when we were almost getting pregnant?"
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"She's not having my baby. She's not. Nobody is having my baby."
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"-What are you doing here? -That's what I wanna know!"
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"Maddie?"
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"-Why do I think you're all together? -I'm with her."
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"Why don't you take She-Ra outside, get some air?"
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"-You the father of her baby? -I'm only the husband."
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"I want some answers, David."
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"-You owe me answers. -I don't owe you anything."
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"-Leave, this is not your party. -I'll go back to my party."
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"A more humiliating experience I can't imagine--"
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"-The delivery room. -Like a cow loves his cud--"
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"Get your ass out of here!"
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"Where are you going? Terri."
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"-Hold it. -Let me get the door for you."
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"What am I talking about?"
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"You're not gonna hold anything, are you?"
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"All right. Short, short, long."
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"-Doing fine. Maintain her breathing. -All right."
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"Long, long, short. The pain's almost over."
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"Short. Give me a deep, cleansing breath."
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"Maybe you didn't hear me. I said, get out."
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"Maybe you didn't hear me. I want some answers."
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"-Scram. -Talk."
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"Talk? What is there to talk about?"
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"You keep me hanging for months, you use my guts for a mop..."
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"You say, "The baby's not yours, I'm married to somebody else.""
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"-What else is there to say? -Do you love her?"
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"Oh, here comes another one."
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"Are you kidding? How could he love me? He's crazy about you."
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"I am not. I hate her."
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"Now, give me three shorts and a long. Here we go: short, short, short, long."
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"-Try it. Short.... -She's fully dilated."
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"-Don't let her push till I get a doctor. -All right, short, short...."
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"So do you love him?"
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"Of course she does, she's crazy about him."
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"-Well, you are. -I am not."
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"-She is not. -I hate him."
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"-See? She hates me. I hate her too. -Yeah."
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"-You do not. -I do too."
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"-She does too. -Hell, you do not."
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"Yes, I do, yes, I do, yes, I do."
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"-Now, give me three short, short.... -Love him, I loathe him."
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"He is conceited and unfeeling."
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"He's as sensitive as a toilet seat and almost as warm."
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"Since the day he walked in, he's done nothing but make me miserable."
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"-I couldn't have said it better myself. -Are you just gonna take this?"
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"I can't figure out how much money you had to pay Wally here..."
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"...to get him to live in the same house with you."
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"-How dare you. -Nothing daring. It was pure pleasure."
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"David, you're the most disgusting creature--"
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"This is her daily explosion of bile. She's the Old Faithful of crap."
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"The only reason I came back is to tell you so."
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"Now that I have told you, I'm going out that door."
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"Good. Because know what? We are done. Finished."
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"-We are done, finished, over! -Done. Good."
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"-Great. -Goodbye."
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"-Gone. Good riddance! -Go."
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"For God's sake, will you two kiss already?!"
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"Congratulations, everybody."
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"That is the most amazing thing I ever saw."
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"Walter Hayes Addison Knowles."
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"Quite a day, huh?"
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"Yeah."
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"Weddings, births."
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"Yep."
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"We can talk about it now if you want. I mean, the kiss."
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"No."
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"Maddie, when you show up for work on Monday, I'm not gonna be there."
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"It just doesn't make any sense."
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"The baby's not mine, you're not mine."
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"I think I got it figured out."
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"You see, I just...."
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"I don't think you know how any of this makes me feel."
Moonlighting (1985)
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